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Posts Tagged ‘Anu Garg’

Writer’s Mail

WRITER’S MAIL
Tuesdays With Story
August 6, 2015

 

We reviewed “Life On Hold” Chapter 64 and this is last chapter of Millie’s book. Every liked the last chapter. Cindi wondered if the last sentence could be  better left off, as a forgone conclusion that the happy couple would not spend the night sleeping.  Millie plans to write an epilogue to tie up loose ends of other people in story.  Cindi and Pat did not think necessary, but encouraged Millie to write and we’ll check out when she’s completed.

Poetry from Bob.  “Turns”, Cindi liked the pictorial images.  Asked about the “huntress moon” phrase.  Bob said it referenced Greek mythology with Diana, the huntress, with bow and arrow.  Group loved the description of passage of time by referencing nature’s changes.

“Driving At Night On A Country Road”.  Fleeting images on the road related to the relationship between writer and his wife.  Pat liked the “ghost dog” image.  Also, the line that refers to who is in the driver’s seat—nice depiction of emotions as well and the special feeling that comes with driving on a country road at night. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
April 25, 2015

He said it . . .

“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.” – Philip Roth (1933-), novelist

Who’s up next . . .

April 28: Carol Hornung (scene, Ghost of Heffron College), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 12, Lookout), Karen Judd (chapter 1, Journey), Ruth Imhoff (part 8, Interrupted Conquest), and Jen Wilcher (chapter 3, Hogoshiro Chronicles).

May 5: Pat Edwards (???), Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapter, novel), Cindi Dyke (chapter, North Road), Millie Mader (chapter 62, Life on Hold), Alicia Connolly-Lohr (chapters 18-19, Coastie Girl), and Andy Brown (chapters, The Last Library).

May 12: Jim Salimes (chapter 1, Tones of Home).

May 19: Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Family Secret), Amber Boudreau (chapter, Stone), Mo Bebow-Reinhard (???), Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapter, novel), Bob Kralapp (short story, part 2, “Flamingo”), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 5-8, Killing Ham).

Meeting Notes – 1st and 3rd TWS

Lisa read from a rewrite of Chapter One of Tebow Family Secret. Jerry had a question about the psychiatrist in the scene as did Pat who suggested softening the language a bit. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Writers Mail
November 18, 2014

Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Family Secret), read from the chapter dealing with the exchange between Ahna and Geoff at the Chattingham Country Club. Jerry and Pat suggested she need not have so many tags with the dialogue since only two people having the conversation. Jerry wanted to see more action on the part of the two people talking in between the extended dialogue. Group felt that the description of the country club dining room should be noted by either Ahna or Geoff. On the whole, everyone felt that it was a good chapter and moved the plot along.

Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapters 9 & 10). Pat liked the transition to the flashback. Remarked that Uma’s age was not apparent in the beginning of the flashback. Also commented on the sporadic absence of articles before noun, eg. “the”, “a”, etc. On the whole every liked the chapter and thought the plot moved well, descriptions excellent. Can’t wait to see next chapter.

Mike Rickey (No Difference-Poem) Pat loved the phrases “cast moods to the gutter”, “soggy dreams”, “rigid charts”. Asked about “suits”. Mike said it represented people who work in offices. That they are no different from people who work in factories. Pat asked Mike to establish the “voice” of person speaking in the poem. Mike said he feels like the “Observer or Witness”. Everyone liked images and felt that he could do a little tightening up of the poem.

Pat Edwards (Dad Speak, poem). Everyone like the poem. Judith commented on the “poem’s suggestion” that the father’s critical language was like a code or foreign language. Minor changes suggested. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
Week of April 23, 2014

April editor . . .
Andy Pfeiffer continues as the editor for Writers Mail this month. Next month, Lisa McDougal takes on the job.

Minutes from Tuesday . . .
2nd & 4th is beginning to look like a class reunion with the recent return of members like Roxanne, Rebecca, and now Liam! Welcome back!

Deb Kellerman started the evening off with the second half of chapter 3 of The Crossing Guard. Carol likes that the characters seem very clear, especially Allie and Rose. Holly suggested trimming a lot of extra words, and also wondered if Rose might challenge Allie’s opinion of Matt. She is somewhat passive and even if she doesn’t challenge her friend out loud, she is probably thinking it. Jack wanted a bit more distinction in each character’s voice, the way they spoke, mannerisms, actions. Also thought Rose might have some emotional thoughts in her interpretation of how Matt might feel about her. Jen said not to forget physical reactions from the characters in describing them, too. Roxanne thought it should be more clear at the end if Matt is within earshot of the conversation Allie and Rose are having.

Kristen Oakley brought in a character piece called “The Bomb.” Rebecca, speaking from an illustrator’s point of view, pointed out that “extremely average” is actually very attractive when it comes to features and the way people see others. Jack thought there was conflict between the character being highly recognizable and yet anonymous. Terry found it wonderfully creepy and wanted to read more. Carol liked the voice, the way the piece flowed. Very easy to read. Holly wants more information on the characters motivations. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
February 12, 2014

Tuesday night 2nd & 4th reconvened after far, far too long…

Carol Hornung started the night with a scene from Ghost of Heffron College – the big reveal explaining the ghost’s name. Jack thought the library building description contained too many mixed up architectural styles and suggested just looking at an existing library and describing it. Holly liked the back-and-forth dialog between the two characters but wondered if Jennifer would be so up front and personal. Also, the group felt Jennifer would be a bit more curious about the archives Kyle is looking into, and would probably ask a few more questions. Had a discussion, too, on whether a guy, when confronted with a friend who was now suddenly sporting a bright pink head of hair, would say “Love the hair” (too girly?) or just “Cool hair.”

Ryan Wagner read a poem “The Path Out of the Forest.” Carol really appreciated it a lot more read aloud than written on the page. Some words, like “lives” can be read two different ways and a little more context around them would help guide the reader. Jack suggested working on meter and structure, to create music with the verse. Also need images to make the poem more memorable. Holly said to look for the most important words and read the poem aloud again to listen for the natural line breaks.

Karen Zethmayr regressed us all back to preschool as she put scissors out on the table and passed out pieces of her do-it-yourself pop-up book, “Where’s Bear’s Stuff?” The more crafty folks among us blew through the instructions without difficulty, while those who were a bit more literal got a little left behind. Key comment – keep instruction lines short. Provide a supply list for each page and be sure to point out that the book needs to be printed on one side of the page only. A suggestion was also made to provide photos of each finished page for reference at the beginning of the book. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
November 10, 2011
By Pat Edwards

“I dream for a living.” – Steven Spielberg

A core group of 2nd & 4th-ers gathered at Barnes & Noble for critiques (and caffeine, for many of us) and camaraderie…

Jack Freiburger brought Path to Bray’s Head to an end. Jen suggested cutting the last sentence and ending it with “Go with the journel.” Carol wondered if it could end with some kind of boating term for smooth sailing. Holly wants some atmosphere at the beginning of the scene. Terry felt that the sudden jump to the present day was too quick. She also wondered about the condition of the blanket – was it worn after all these years, or was it so sturdy it hardly looked worn at all? Holly wanted a little more emotion at the end, but Cole felt it worked quite well.

Cole Ruby read the next scene from Champions. Jack pointed out that Vice has no expectation of fairness at this point, so for him to say something isn’t fair doesn’t quite fit. Katelin thinks there’d be more that Mark knows through the church about demons – he’s trying to fit things into his world view. Jen figured Jenna would want to know WHY her brother is still alive first, then ask about the vampires later. Jack thought the matter-of-fact attitude of Jenna paralleled Vice nicely, bonding them as brother and sister. Katelin thought Jenna might experience or express a little more fear or surprise, and Terry thought some stronger verbs would be useful. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail for October 28, 2010
by Pat Edwards

“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.” – Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons

The Pumpkin Challenge
In honor of the upcoming holiday, Webook.com is doing a pumpkin challenge. Your pumpkin can take any form (carved, cursed, animated, giant, murderous, a pie) but it must cause terror in a person or group of people. Real terror. None of that mushy “moderate fear” kind of thing.

Write a scary story in which a pumpkin is the main catalyst for terror. (max 300 words)

The WEbook editorial staff will pick our three favorite submissions and award the authors free entry to PageToFame. Go to http://www.webook.com/project/The-Pumpkin-Challenge for rules and information.

Who’s up Next?
November 2: Amber Boudreau (chapter 16, young adult novel), John Schneller (chapter 2, Final Stronghold), Greg Spry (chapter, Beyond Cloud Nine), Randy Haslow (chapter, Hona and the Dragon), Judith McNeil (???), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 4, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

November 9: Kim Simmons (chapters, City of Winter), Randy Haslow (chapter, Hona and the Dragon), Annie Potter (memoir), Carol Hornung (scene, Sapphire Lodge), and Sariah (???).

November 16: Greg Spry (chapter, Beyond Cloud Nine), Pat Edwards (poems), Chris Maxwell (rewrite, short story), Cathy Riddle (chapter, Beer Crimes), Aaron Boehm (chapter, Hell Cage), and Kim Simmons (chapter, City of Summer).

December 7: Clayton Gill (chapter, Fishing Derby), Justin Schober (chapter 1/part 2, sci-fi novel), Jen Wilcher (chapter), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 5, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

Publishing Lawyer Lincoln
From Alicia Connolly-Lohr
I just self-published my historical fiction novel Lawyer Lincoln In Transit to Freedom on Amazon in the Kindle store. I’m currently working on my Author Central page for Amazon. I have also submitted the book to createspace.com (owned by Amazon but run as a separate business). There it will be available as a publish-on-demand book. Just awaiting the proof. Although TWS in on my acknowledgements page, I want to pass on special thanks all who helped with critiques. Thanks so much.

Need a Character Name?
Why waste precious intellectual energy creating names yourself? This absolutely wonderful site has several random name generators. There’s a pseudonym generator, a fantasy name generator, an elf name generator, a superhero name generator and a lot MORE! My new evil twin name is going to be Savage Acholateezit, courtesy of the evil name generator. Here’s the main site link http://online-generator.com/index.php Don’t miss the “business section,” which includes project names and band names. What kind of music do you think the The Homeless Clouds create? (more…)

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