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Posts Tagged ‘Fifth Tuesday’

Tuesdays with Story
January 17, 2023

The first word . . .

“The pipeline between ‘Oh, my god, I wrote this!’ and ‘Oh, my god, I wrote this?’ is a short one.” AD Wills

Tuesday Evening . . .

Judy Cummings (A Real Hero, Chapter 10-11)

Amit and Kashmira suggested I tighten the internal monologue in Chapter 11 and focus on Steve’s action and physical responses. Jack suggested layering more period details, i.e. radio programs, to make the story more cinematic. For the most part, group members are entertained by the story and find Steve’s clumsy patriotism compelling. Thanks for the feedback, everyone. 

Amber Boudreau (Second Act, Chapter 24)

Amber read from the beginning of Chapter 24 of Second Act her urban fantasy centered around a werewolf stage actor in Los Angeles. Amit thought the chapters did a good job of solving one mystery before introducing another. Judy liked the romantic interlude but had questions about the significance of the scarf in Helen’s dressing room. Kashmira wondered if the main character would worry about his shifter friend being able to smell what had been going on behind closed doors or show relief when they couldn’t.

Kashmira Sheth (I am From Here Too)

Kashmira submitted the next set of pages of I am From Here, Too. Overall, everyone thought these poems had more details that brought the characters alive. Jack suggested using some things to extend the metaphor. In certain scenes. Judy wanted more action and less internal thought from Anoop. Amit wondered if the story should open with Jacob and Anoop. Thank you all for your feedback. 

Amit Trivedi (If Not for the Partition, Chapter 3) Need to pay attention to tense as past and present tense were mixed up. More interaction with Kedar and the little boy (Mimic the kindness shown by the elder couple to Kedar.) Significance of the policeman noticing the moccasin on Kedar’s feet is not very clear-Need to rework that. Short sentences for the tragic scene will be more effective. Look at starting chapter 3 at the break of page 3 or close to that point.

Suzanne Gillingham (Kaleidoscope, Chapter 5)

Kashmira thought I should focus more on the immediate surroundings, especially the smells and sounds of Lake Monona rather than the ocean in San Francisco. Amber thought I should add Brandon’s synesthesia into his thought process over leaving Madison and Carey. Jack and Judy both thought the description of the porch was out of place or should at least be short, chopped sentences given how upset Brandon was. Almost everyone thought the resolution at the end of the chapter came too soon—to be realistic, a longer build up is needed. Thanks for the input. I appreciate it.

Who’s up next . . . 

Jack Freiburger

Amber Boudreau

Amit Trivedi

Judy Cummings

Kashmira Sheth

Bob Kralopp

For the good of the order . . .

Our Fifth Tuesday gathering will be held Jan. 31 at Jack’s place, Hickory Knoll Farm in Fitchburg. It will be a potluck. Jack will inform us what he’s providing and what we need to bring ourselves. 

The writing prompt is “The best prank ever.” Any form or format, 500 words max. Send to Larry by the end of Monday, January 30. 

First Tuesday will be on Feb. 7th.

The last word . . .

“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.” Anais Nin

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Tuesdays with Story
January 3, 2023

The first word . . .

“The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.”

John Steinbeck

Tuesday Evening . . .

Mike Austin (The Reed Gang, Chapter 1)

Chapter 1 of The Reed Gang (working title) was well received. I need to change some names. Red and Ned just doesn’t work. And I need to introduce the characters more, with descriptions. We had some discussion about the drunk girl, and whether she should be older. But having her younger has more of an impact. Nick’s involvement with the other four needs to be explained, and I’m thinking that I’ll move that introduction so it’s before this chapter. Thanks!

Kashmira Sheth (I Am From Here Too, first 15 pages)

Kashmira submitted the first fifteen pages of her novel in verse, I am From Here Too. The main thing discussed was how to weave a conflict or a hint of it earlier. The writing worked well for the most part. There was also a discussion about writing about Sikh faith and what kind of research was needed. 

Larry F. Sommers (Untitled, Chapters 1 and 2)

Larry F. Sommers, Untitled WWII novel, Chs. 1 and 2:  The main point all agreed on was that Jag, and to some extent, Hal as well, are not likable characters. Too cold and self-involved. More human facets of their inner lives need to be disclosed. It was suggested that the first paragraph, introducing Hal, be omitted to begin with the second graf on the coal-scooping action. John pointed out that tidying up the coal dust partway through the job didn’t make sense, and he suggested that Hal and Jag hold an active productivity competition. Great feedback, everybody, thanks.

Amit Trivedi (If Not for the Partition, Chapters 1 and 2)

Overall the revised chapters were received very well. A few changes were suggested regarding reducing the number of characters in the first chapter, changing the order of paragraphs and giving more details about the bazaar (scent and sounds) and a bit more explanation of the geo-political background.

Thanks all!

Judy Cummings (A Real Hero, Chapters 8 and 9)

The group gave overall positive feedback on these chapters, specifically the protagonist’s struggle between duty and young romance, the voice, and the emotional pull whenever the protagonist’s missing brother is mentioned. Larry suggested changing the German so it’s clear to the reader that the protagonist isn’t fluent in the language. Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

Who’s up next . . . 

Jack Freiburger

Amber Boudreau

Amit Trivedi

Judy Cummings

Kashmira Sheth

Suzanne Gillingham

For the good of the order . . .

Our Fifth Tuesday gathering will be held Jan. 31 at Jack’s place, Hickory Knoll Farm. It will be potluck. Jack will inform us what he’s providing and what we need to bring ourselves. 

The writing prompt is “The best prank ever.” Any form or format, 500 words max. Send to Larry by the end of Monday, January 30. 

The last word . . .

“Literature abhors the typical. Literature flows to the particular, the mundane, the greasiness of paper, the taste of warm beer, the smell of onion or quince.” 

Richard Rodriguez

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Tuesdays with Story
April 19, 2022

The first word . . .

In selecting the starting point and ending point for your story, it will help “if you will remember the following facts about readers:

  1. They are fascinated and threatened by significant change;
  2. They want the story to start with such a change;
  3. They want to have a story question to worry about;
  4. They want the story question answered in the story ending;
  5. They will quickly lose patience with everything but material that relates to the story question.”

– Jack M. Bickham, Scene and Structure, p. 7 (1993).

Tuesday evening April 19, 2022

Six TWS writers came together over Zoom and in person this week to review the works-in-progress of four of their colleagues and offer insights and critiques. Here is a summary of what was said:

— Mike Austin (“Roger”) … “Roger” was very well received. I had concerns that it might be too depressing, but that didn’t seem to be a problem. Some areas that could use fleshing out were the things that have alienated his family from him, such as his affair and his mocking of his son’s religion. I also should clarify Angie’s comment about not being able to afford an emergency room. (And along those lines, it occurred to me that if Angie had a job at the university, she’d have insurance. So I might have to give her a different job.) There was a little brawling, though no bloodshed, thanks to Zoom, about whether the structure could be changed so that the story begins with Roger waking in the waiting room, contemplating the events leading up to his being there, or if it should remain linear. I did find the idea of beginning in the waiting room appealing. Hm. Thanks to everyone for your comments and suggestions.  

Dan Culhane (A Grand Thing To Be An Afternoon, Ch. 2) Dan submitted chapter 2 in which we are introduced to Nellie, Oren, and Jacob and start to see the world of MY026. Dan received some very helpful feedback on the mechanics of the chapter, including on the opening description of the scene and the purpose of certain section breaks. A universal agreement against the use of parenthesis was duly noted. The piece succeeds in introducing characters that are engaging and get people to care about their relationships. However, the narration needs some attention in places to avoid the voice of the narrator sneaking into Nellie’s internal dialogue. All very helpful feedback and much appreciated.

(more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
3/5/22

The first word . . .

“When I sit down to write a book, I do not say to myself, ‘I am going to produce a work of art.’ I write it because there is some lie that I want to expose, some fact to which I want to draw attention, and my initial concern is to get a hearing.” — George Orwell

Tuesday evening. . .

Nine TWS writers attended March first meeting.  

Bob (Slow Dancing Under the Mirror Ball, part 1)

There were many comments that the small-town setting was believable and that the conversations sounded real. The homecoming parade needs work on two points. The first is showing a stronger connection between the temperature of a snowy day and how the townspeople are dressed. The second concerns making Bernie a stronger or more continuous presence.

(more…)

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Tuesday with Story

August 17, 2021

First word…

Most humor depends on specificity. It’s funnier to say that a cheese steak tastes better when you’re leaning up against a Pontiac than when you are leaning up against a car.

– Calvin Trillin

Here’s who presented Tuesday evening…

Kashmira Sheth – (Chapter 1, Nina Soni, Best Hostess and chapter 10, rewrite, Nina Soni, Snow Spy)…I submitted the first chapter of Nina Soni, Best Hostess. The main concern was keeping things simple for new readers, using active voice, and maybe playing around with a different starting point. All were excellent suggestions. I also resubmitted a revised chapter of  Nina Soni, Snow Spy. There were no major concerns there. Thank you all.

John Schneller (Chapters 16-17, Precious Daughter)…Jerry wanted to clear up some disparity on fishing, both the numbers, and what ones does with a grub once it in your hands. Larry wanted clarity on how long the boys would help cooking. Amit pointed out too much falling in the dance, while Kashmira pointed out that it slows down when the dance routine was described twice. Jamie noticed Kotel was a bystander in the opening. These things can be fixed! Thanks to all for the keen powers of observation.

(more…)

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Tuesdays With Story

August 3, 2021

The first word:

When I sit down in order to write, sometimes it’s there; sometimes it’s not. But that doesn’t bother me anymore. I tell my students there is such a thing as “writers block,” and they should respect it. You shouldn’t write through it. It’s blocked because it ought to be blocked, because you haven’t got it right now.

– Toni Morrison

Here’s who presented Tuesday evening:

Jaime Nelson Noven (Part 1, New York, After All)… Jamie presented a chapter from a novel in progress (a book within a book). It seemed most everyone liked the voice of the narrator and the humor. We looked at some troublesome scene transitions and the narrator’s casual reaction to a coworker going missing. Definitely will have to change the supermarket simile. Thanks, all!

Bob Kralapp (short story, “Don’t Take It Personally”)… The story was well received. Jack felt that having the basketball coach bet two grand on the upcoming game was excessive and that two hundred was more in line with the situation. Jamie was confused about having the story end where it did without resolving whether Coach was betting for or against his team. Most readers felt the story was incomplete and needed a second act to bring it around.

Amber Boudreau (chapters 24-26, The Dragoneer 2)… Amber read from chapter 24 of her sequel to The Dragoneer. Jerry had a question about the characters sitting around digesting. Jamie needed a little more information in one part concerning a character’s luck. John thought the description of Moira’s drowning was well done. As far as  chapter 26 goes, it may need some retooling or could be left as is to let the audience take from it what they will. In this chapter, Moira has a conversation with her father who’s dead but only because the Librarian is there as well and that may need to be made clearer.

John Schneller (chapter 4, Precious Daughter)… Kotel’s more light-hearted days will be a contrast to Nia’s troubles. The two stories will need to be interspersed earlier. Jack noticed the hints that Kotel was ascending into a new realm as he ascended the mountain. Hints of the change need to be delayed for a scene to coincide with his entry into the hidden village. The skunk scene was overworked. Jamie pointed out that Kotel’s half-truths will not be obvious to a new reader who has not read the first book. Thanks for all the helpful comments.

Jerry Peterson (chapters 22-24, Night Flight)… Jerry used the wrong church to integrate. The Baptists would not have permitted a black person in their church at this time (1927, the heart of the Jim Crow era). The Methodists might, several said. Jack found the shovel cake incident disconcerting. Rachel and Abraham Isaac work hard at doing everything properly, so they wouldn’t make shovel cake in the fireplace. That’s primitive. Rooster would, though. He can teach Rachel how this is done. Kashmira suggested Rachel has to have things to do that continually puts Rooster off from asking her to marry him.

Here’s who’s up on August 17

Amit Trivedi (chapter12, River Drops – working title)

Paul Wagner (Night of the Red Eyed Mad Man)

Kashmira Sheth (untitled)

Larry Sommers (short story, An Episode)

Jerry Peterson (chapter 25, Night Flight)

And riding back-up, John Schneller (chapter 5, Precious Daughter).

Our editor

Bob Kralapp returns to edit the August issues for Writer’s Mail. You have something you’d like him to include in our next issue? Email it to Bob.

Fifth Tuesday

It’s coming, the end of the month, August 31. Jack will host the group at his farm.

We do have a writing challenge. Here it is: Create a 30-second radio or television commercial for your new invention. Yes, we need a script.

Ron Popeil was a master of this. He invented or acquired and starred in his own commercials for the first Karaoke machine called Mr. Microphone, the Popeil Pocket Fisherman, the Veg-o-Matic, the Buttoneer, the Smokeless Ashtray, Popeil’s Electric Food Dehydrator, the Inside-the-Egg Scrambler, GLH-9 (Great Looking Hair Formula #9) Hair in a Can Spray, Rhinestone stud setter (later called the Bedazzler), and the Cap Snaffler. Look up his commercials on You Tube for inspiration.

A book for writers

New York Times reviewer Pat O’Connor said of comma queen Mary Norris’s memoir that it was a great read. “Hilarious…This book charmed my socks off.”

So why should we read it?

Norris has spent more than three decades in The New Yorker’s copy department where her job was to make sure every column and story maintained the magazine’s high standards for punctuation, spelling, grammar, structure, and the craft of writing.

Says the blurb, “In Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen, she brings her vast experience with grammar and usage, her good cheer and irreverence, and her finely sharpened pencils to help the rest of us in a boisterous language book as full of life as it is of practical advice.”

So check it out.

Confessions came out in 2016. NPR, Amazon, Wall Street Journal, Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, and Library Journal all named it a Best Book of the Year.

There’s more. Three years later. Norris brought out It’s Greek to Me: Adventures of the Comma Queen.

Says the blurb for this book, “Greek to Me is a charming account of Norris’s lifelong love affair with words and her solo adventures in the land of olive trees and ouzo. Along the way, Norris explains how the alphabet originated in Greece, makes the case for Athena as a feminist icon, goes searching for the fabled Baths of Aphrodite, and reveals the surprising ways Greek helped form English. Filled with Norris’s memorable encounters with Greek words, Greek gods, Greek wine―and more than a few Greek men―Greek to Me is the Comma Queen’s fresh take on Greece and the exotic yet strangely familiar language that so deeply influences our own.”

The last word:

Stories are for those late hours of the night when you can’t remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember but the story. – Tim O’Brien, from The Things They Carried

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Tuesdays with Story

June 15, 2021

The first word…

“Character is the very life of fiction. Setting exists so that the character has someplace to stand. Plot exists so that the character can discover what he is really like, forcing the character to choice and action. And theme exists only to make the character stand up and be somebody.”

-John Gardner

Tuesday evening at Larry Sommers’s place…

Ten writers attended, six by way of Zoom link. Five writers presented work.

Mike Austin

Dumpster Fire (Work in progress)

“Dumpster Fire,” the first part of a short story work in progress, met with somewhat mixed but mostly favorable reviews. Jerry needed more of a reason to care about either character, while Amber thought that there’s room for redemption with one or both of them. And sowing that seed of doubt about who actually started the dumpster fire is a distraction, unless that’s part of the story. Which it ain’t. Also, the opening sentence has to go somewhere else. Or just go. I did lapse into first person narrative at least once. Whoops. I also need to use the “find” tool to avoid the repetition with some words. Thanks for all of the tips and encouragement!

Larry Sommers

One More Outlaw, an Izzy Mahler short story

Jerry and others pointed out many missed opportunities for plot excitement foregone in my quest to be faithful to true life experience. Jamie suggested Donny Bill might attempt to inveigle Izzy into a life of crime. Jack thought I could maintain the integrity of my “affective” approach (i.e., vignette style) but add meaning by explaining more of the social and economic context. Thanks, everybody. Points to ponder.

Amber Boudreau

The Dragoneer 2, Chapters 18-20

Amber read from the beginning of chapter 18 of her sequel to The Dragoneer. Jamie and others enjoyed the sequence with the goblins. Larry had a suggestion about the former occupants of their armor being ‘wearers’ instead of ‘owners’. Mike enjoyed the mentorship aspect of the later chapters while John suggested there might be a few places to reduce the amount of dialogue.

John Schneller

Precious Daughter, Chapter 14

Jerry found better wording for clarity in the opening of the chapter. Jamie asked if DinShaw is a redeemable character. He will eventually show his love as a father, but not for a while. Work is needed to show him as an honorable soldier, stressed and failing by present circumstances. Thanks for the suggestions.

Jerry Peterson

Escape to the Conch Republic, Chapter 9

The chapter stirred a world of conversation on how to improve it, ranging from Paf probing Thompson for a better explanation for how he chose to get involved in treasure hunting, to Paf accepting Thompson’s offer of a half share in the venture, to Thompson paying Gunn $500 for an introduction to the man who really has the treasure map—$500 for a treasure map is just too cheap, Jack and Larry said—to better lines about Shelby being drunk.

Fifth Tuesday

Yes, June 29. Larry and Jo Sommers will host us at their home in Madison. PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU ARE COMING. Larry and Jo will provide plates, cups, plastic utensils, and napkins. Pulled pork sandwiches will be served. Drinks will include iced tea, red and white wine, and two kinds of beer. Please bring a salad, dessert, or other dish to pass. Feel free to bring your own preferred beverage.

Per the usual, we do have a writing challenge. The prompt: Cemetery rules! Keep your mini-masterpiece to 500 or fewer words and email it to Jerry Peterson, with a copy to Larry, by Monday evening, June 28. Two stories are already in.

On the schedule for July 6…

Amit Trivedi (???)

Jaime Nelson Noven (Outsleep, chapter 14, part 2)

Paul Wagner (???)

Amber Boudreau (Dragoneer 2, chapter 21-23)

Mike Austin (short story, “Dumpster Fire”, part 2)

John Schneller (Precious Daughter, chapter 15)

Our July 6 meeting will be at Jack’s house in Fitchburg. Those who can’t make it can join via Zoom link, as usual.

Our editors…

Bob Kralapp edited this issue of Writer’s Mail. Next month—July—John Schneller takes on the assignment.

From Jerry…

Words in our state

That thing where we get a drink of water, in southern and eastern Wisconsin we call it a bubbler, not a drinking fountain. The State Historical Society teed off on this bit of language trivia with the t-shirt here that it sells. The back of the shirt reads ‘Fountains are where you throw coins.’

If you want to order an ‘It’s a Bubbler’ t-shirt, here’s the link: https://shop.wisconsinhistory.org/bubbler-tshirt

The last word…

“Be daring, take on anything. Don’t labor over little cameo works in which every word is to be perfect. Technique holds a reader from sentence to sentence, but only content will stay in his mind.” – Joyce Carol Oates

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Tuesdays with Story
June 7, 2020

The first word . . .

“I feel devoutly thankful to have been born fond of writing.”

― Winston Churchill

Zoom-zoom . . .

Zoom isn’t without its problems. Delayed voice transmissions and audio breakups forced John to leave Tuesday evening’s meeting early. Here are summaries of the critiques those who were on the schedule received:

— John Schneller (chapter 20, Broken rewrite)

While I have tried to embrace the RUE (Resist the Urge to Explain) concept, my minimalist approach left most readers guessing Broken’s distrust, the thief and murderer qualities of the shepherds, the subversive technique to convince the ewe to accept a lamb not her own, and why did he reach into the pouch and bring out nothing (visible). Looks like I has some esplainin to do! (me no edit John’s righting) Thanks for the input.  John (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
March 6, 2020

The first word . . .

Skip a day or more between writing sessions and your mind will drift away from the deep moments of your story. You’ll have to slog back to the place abandoned if you had written every day.  (a note that has been on my wall for so long I forgot who it came from)

 

They met at Barnes & Noble . . .which they won’t do again for a while because of Covid-19.

 A full table of authors commented on style, word choices, and moments in history. Much aid and opinion offered to the well being of all projects.

— Meg Williams (???) . . . A LOT of old noir crime feel going on with the first chapter and I need to get away from that

– A lot of character action logistics need a LOT of work.

– Instead of killing characters, I need to kill all of the adverbs used in the narrative portions

– A surprise plot twist involving human trafficking instead of a typical drug bust.

– Conclusion: First Chapter needs to be rewritten and resubmitted for critique. There’s definitely some bad writing habits that I really need to break. So I’m going to take a page out of Taylor Swift’s book and Shake It Off and Write On 🙂 (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story

February 4, 2020 meeting.

The first word…

Ernest Hemmingway wrote: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” But that seems a little too dramatic to me, like the guitar player saying he “played until my fingers bled.” Really? More realistically from Hemmingway is, “The first draft of anything is shit.” Years later, Anne Lamott followed up on this idea with an entire chapter of her book on writing, “Bird by Bird,” entitled, “Shitty First Drafts,” which explained that it’s okay to have a first draft that might be a little rough. I’m not sure where I’m going with that, except to say that it’s good to know that even Hemmingway had to start somewhere. (more…)

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