Tuesdays with Story
January 17, 2023
The first word . . .
“The pipeline between ‘Oh, my god, I wrote this!’ and ‘Oh, my god, I wrote this?’ is a short one.” AD Wills
Tuesday Evening . . .
Judy Cummings (A Real Hero, Chapter 10-11)
Amit and Kashmira suggested I tighten the internal monologue in Chapter 11 and focus on Steve’s action and physical responses. Jack suggested layering more period details, i.e. radio programs, to make the story more cinematic. For the most part, group members are entertained by the story and find Steve’s clumsy patriotism compelling. Thanks for the feedback, everyone.
Amber Boudreau (Second Act, Chapter 24)
Amber read from the beginning of Chapter 24 of Second Act her urban fantasy centered around a werewolf stage actor in Los Angeles. Amit thought the chapters did a good job of solving one mystery before introducing another. Judy liked the romantic interlude but had questions about the significance of the scarf in Helen’s dressing room. Kashmira wondered if the main character would worry about his shifter friend being able to smell what had been going on behind closed doors or show relief when they couldn’t.
Kashmira Sheth (I am From Here Too)
Kashmira submitted the next set of pages of I am From Here, Too. Overall, everyone thought these poems had more details that brought the characters alive. Jack suggested using some things to extend the metaphor. In certain scenes. Judy wanted more action and less internal thought from Anoop. Amit wondered if the story should open with Jacob and Anoop. Thank you all for your feedback.
Amit Trivedi (If Not for the Partition, Chapter 3) Need to pay attention to tense as past and present tense were mixed up. More interaction with Kedar and the little boy (Mimic the kindness shown by the elder couple to Kedar.) Significance of the policeman noticing the moccasin on Kedar’s feet is not very clear-Need to rework that. Short sentences for the tragic scene will be more effective. Look at starting chapter 3 at the break of page 3 or close to that point.
Suzanne Gillingham (Kaleidoscope, Chapter 5)
Kashmira thought I should focus more on the immediate surroundings, especially the smells and sounds of Lake Monona rather than the ocean in San Francisco. Amber thought I should add Brandon’s synesthesia into his thought process over leaving Madison and Carey. Jack and Judy both thought the description of the porch was out of place or should at least be short, chopped sentences given how upset Brandon was. Almost everyone thought the resolution at the end of the chapter came too soon—to be realistic, a longer build up is needed. Thanks for the input. I appreciate it.
Who’s up next . . .
Jack Freiburger
Amber Boudreau
Amit Trivedi
Judy Cummings
Kashmira Sheth
Bob Kralopp
For the good of the order . . .
Our Fifth Tuesday gathering will be held Jan. 31 at Jack’s place, Hickory Knoll Farm in Fitchburg. It will be a potluck. Jack will inform us what he’s providing and what we need to bring ourselves.
The writing prompt is “The best prank ever.” Any form or format, 500 words max. Send to Larry by the end of Monday, January 30.
First Tuesday will be on Feb. 7th.
The last word . . .
“If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.” Anais Nin