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Writer’s Mail

Writers Mail
November 18, 2014

Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Family Secret), read from the chapter dealing with the exchange between Ahna and Geoff at the Chattingham Country Club. Jerry and Pat suggested she need not have so many tags with the dialogue since only two people having the conversation. Jerry wanted to see more action on the part of the two people talking in between the extended dialogue. Group felt that the description of the country club dining room should be noted by either Ahna or Geoff. On the whole, everyone felt that it was a good chapter and moved the plot along.

Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapters 9 & 10). Pat liked the transition to the flashback. Remarked that Uma’s age was not apparent in the beginning of the flashback. Also commented on the sporadic absence of articles before noun, eg. “the”, “a”, etc. On the whole every liked the chapter and thought the plot moved well, descriptions excellent. Can’t wait to see next chapter.

Mike Rickey (No Difference-Poem) Pat loved the phrases “cast moods to the gutter”, “soggy dreams”, “rigid charts”. Asked about “suits”. Mike said it represented people who work in offices. That they are no different from people who work in factories. Pat asked Mike to establish the “voice” of person speaking in the poem. Mike said he feels like the “Observer or Witness”. Everyone liked images and felt that he could do a little tightening up of the poem.

Pat Edwards (Dad Speak, poem). Everyone like the poem. Judith commented on the “poem’s suggestion” that the father’s critical language was like a code or foreign language. Minor changes suggested. (more…)

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