Tuesdays with Story
Newsletter 6/11/13
Creepy, mystery, and action defined the night at the bookstore on Tuesday. We were joined by newcomer Erin Syth.
Unfortunately, Jen and Rebecca were unable to present their notes from the workshop they attended, as Rebecca had a work commitment. Oh well, there’s always next time!
Ray Woodruff brought in the short story “Locked Inside.” Andy thought it was a little difficult to get into at first, but he liked it. Jen had some trouble with the point of view changing – Dustin seemed to be the main character, but not always. Holly noted an abuse of the word “just,” being used just 27 times over six pages. Katelin liked the age-specific details. We all thought it was delightfully creepy and Carol found the ending to work well. She was a little confused about the time period, feeling as though she’d fallen into a Stephen King story with his kids in the 1950s, but other details suggested a more modern time.
Ruth Imhoff read Chapter 2 of Motto of the Hound. Andy wondered why the morgue was in the police station, and Carol agreed that it was unusual, but that Ruth needed to create a reason WHY the morgue is in the police station. Holly pointed out the danger of cliche involving cops and donuts. Ray liked the line about looking “at him as if he’d grown two heads.” He also sensed we had been close to an important reveal, but dodged it, and thought the autopsy should be longer and more detailed. Jen suggested showing more body language and Carol wanted more character specific details – what did their desks look like? Who drank what kind of coffee? Erin said that the names in the dialog tags appeared an awful lot. Giving them details/things to do would lessen that a bit. Holly wanted more interrupting and realism in the conversations, because she felt it was too polite. Jen reminded Ruth that the road to Hell is paved with adverbs. Carol said Ruth overused the word “well.” Overall, people liked this more than Ruth’s Chapter 1. Continue Reading »