Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays With Story

May 16, 2023

First Word…

“Create dangerously, for people who read dangerously. This is what I’ve always thought it meant to be a writer. Writing, knowing in part that no matter how trivial your words may seem, someday, somewhere, someone may risk his or her life to read them.”

— Edwige Dandicat, Create Dangerously

Tuesday evening…

Eight TWS writer attended the meeting via Google Meet, six of which read from their works in progress. Here is a summary of what was said:

Judy Cummings – A Real Hero, Chs. 18-20. Larry noted that the wording of the Bible verse referenced in Chapter 18 did not exist in 1944. Amber suggested that Steve might reveal some jealousy of Gordy’s ability to keep his innocent fantasies about superheroes. There was discussion of the likelihood of a deep foxhole near the river caving in and a recommendation to move it to higher ground. Thanks for the feedback.

Jack Freiburger – Jesus at the Ihop, Ch. VII. The written comments I received were very helpful and had some questions.  Made a few edits as a result.

The discussion mostly had to do with adding a foil for Jesus.  I read ahead and we have two more chapters without a interlocutory in the chapters, until we get to the Jew in the Basket. Chapter VIII for next time is again in the mind of Jesus and the next is a travelog.  I’ll consider once we get to Chapter XI and we see how things are going.  J

Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi – If Not For the Partition, Chs. 18, 19. The chapters worked well. Larry pointed out the tense shift in Kedar’s chapter. Jack wanted to tweak a few sentences in Uma’s chapter and mention the food from the previous chapter. Judy wrote in her note that she wanted to see Uma thinking more about the resistance against the government rather than her personal loss. She also thought that the flashback was too long and Virabha’s chapter should be told from Kedar’s POV. Overall, everyone liked the new part.

Amber Boudreau – Second Act, Chs. 41-43. Amber read from the second to last chapter of Second Act. Larry and Jack seemed to think it could use some paring down. Jamie wondered if there might not be need for some more foreshadowing regarding the solution to Jeremy’s not being able to change.

Jaime Nelson Noven – NYAA, Charlie’s Memoir, Part 1. The group read a chapter from New York, After All and offered some advice on cleaning up some of the sentences by paying more attention to conjunctions, scene transitions, and confusing phrases. We decided Photoshop probably wouldn’t be around in the future and we questioned the efficiency of solar panels at the time this story takes place. Thanks, all!

Larry F. Sommers – Brother’s Blood, Chs. 1-3. Jack wondered why we care about Hal and also what makes Hal and Jag so ready and willing to square off in fisticuffs on the loading dock. There was a general consensus that more needs to be done in Chapter 1 to establish reader empathy with both brothers in their Depression-era situation. Kashmira pointed out that their normal relationship needs to be established before their world is knocked off-kilter. Judy suggested that maybe a new Chapter One needs to be added before Hal’s injury occurs (present Chapter One). Thanks, everybody.

The Jade Ring Writing Contest…

Submissions for the Jade Ring contest will close on June 2, 11:59pm CST!

The genres are:

• Fiction
• Non-fiction
• Poetry

Check out our submissions page for details on participating.

Here’s who’s up on June 6…

Judy Cummings – A Real Hero

Bob Kralapp – Nostalgia

Jessica Smith – ?

Mike Austin – Nick at Sixteen

Suzanne Gillingham – Kaleidoscope

Jack Freiberger – Jesus at the Ihop

Our Editor for March…

Jaime Nelson Noven will serve as editor of Writer’s Mail for the next two issues. She is always on the lookout for good things to include, and so if you have something you want added, do email it to her.

Fifth Tuesday…

Our Fifth Tuesday social get-together will be held at Jack’s place, Hickory Knoll Farm, 5438 Highway M Fitchburg, WI 53575, on Tuesday, May 30, at 7:00 p.m. Jack will provide wine and beer, a sumptuous vegetarian (not necessarily vegan) salad, and dinnerware. Please bring a dish to pass, preferably a main course or dessert.

The Fifth Tuesday Writing Challenge is: Bars of Wisconsin–Write a review for a fictitious Wisconsin bar, 500 words maximum. Humor is permitted, if you have any. Send your entry to me by 5 pm May 29 (Memorial Day).

Last Word…

“Write what should not be forgotten.”

— Isabel Allende, author