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Writer’s Mail

Tuesdays with Story
March 8, 2021

The first word . . .

“Good fiction’s job is to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.”  ~ David Foster Wallace

From Jerry

A thank you . . .

The second food gift from TWS—a box of premium oranges, apples, and pears—arrived safely on Jerry and Marge Peterson’s front porch. Say both Marge and Jerry, “TWS friends and colleagues, thank you so much for your kindness.”

Tuesday evening on Zoom . . .  Six writes shared their works. From picture book to short story to synopsis to couple of chapters from the next best sellers.

Kashmira Sheth (Go to sleep)

 Kashmira submitted her picture book, Go to Sleep. Jerry had comments about the logic of the story and a few suggestions to improve it. Amber also offered a few tweaks. Larry thought that the illustrations were easy to visualize. Thank you.

Jack Freiburger (Synopsis)

Multiple comments on synopsis needing serious revision and discussion of rewriting firs three chapters into one, as the chapters are very short and publishers ask for a first rather than a sample.

— John Schneller (Chapters 1 and 2, Book 2)

More work needed to orient the reader in the first chapter. This became obvious with many thoughts about where the action started. Word choices also played a deceptive role. Alley indicated a more urban scene. Nia’s motivation needs to come through early enough for the reader to like her. Chapter 2 was more favorably received as the relationship and personalities emerged (again, Nia’s motivation for stealing needs to be revealed). Great suggestions. Quite a bit of work to do!

(more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Tuesdays with Story
January 22, 2021

The first word . . .

“Don’t go into great detail describing places and things, unless you’re ­Margaret Atwood and can paint scenes with language. You don’t want descriptions that bring the action, the flow of the story, to a standstill.”
― Elmore Leonard, Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules of Writing

Tuesday evening on Zoom . . .

Nine TWS writers flocked together to work through the picture books, poems, and chapters of six of their colleagues. Here is some of what was said:

Kashmira Sheth (2 picture books) . . . For Aria’s adventure Amber and John suggested to use a book with a title about an elephant. Huckle pointed out two words starting with the letter H. For Being a Baby, Jack wanted to have a cadence in the text. Amber said to add people or a dog being in baby’s face all the time. Thank you all. 

Jack Freiburger (2 poems) …Read two poems.  Evening Ski and Effigy Mound.  Comments suggested they were accessible, once I corrected the typos.  I’d spent some time on Kashmira’S Baby story and suggested cadenced reading and discussed the history of Baldwin locomotives with Jerry and suggested that having a lynching without recognizing the history of terrorism against Blacks may be an issue.

(more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Tuesdays with Story
January 1, 2021

The first word . . .

“The dynamic principle of fantasy is play, which belongs also to the child, and as such it appears to be inconsistent with the principles of serious work. But without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth.” –Carl Jung

When last we gathered . . .

That was back on December 16. A goodly number of us peered at our screens, at our colleagues, as we worked through the chapters and poems of those who had posted. Here is some of what was said:

—Kashmira Sheth (Chapter 23, Journey to Swaraj) … Kashmira shared a chapter of her novel, Journey to Swaraj.  The readers felt that the grief scene after Dadima’s death was too long. Jack wanted more details about the work Veena did with Taraben and Lalubhai. Also, most readers wanted to have Veena involved with the police after they beat up Lalubhai and other satyagrahis. Thank you all for your comments. 

—Huckle Rahr (Chapter 31, Wolf Healer)… This week most people had things to say on the first half of my chapter. The general consensus was that I needed to add more action to the argument. There was a lack of physical tension in the scene. I also needed to give more weight to Mr. Schneider’s side of the argument. The fight seemed to lack in intensity for something so serious. There were some suggestions on cleaning up some sentences and paragraphs as well as clarifying where characters were at different times. 

— Jack Freiburger (2 poems, “Barbara Salisbury” and “Burning Prairie”) . . .

—Amit Trivedi (Poem, “Looking through the Window”)… Poetry was well received by the group. A few word changes were suggested. Jack gave detailed feedback and Larry was very encouraging. Much appreciated. 

John Schneller (Chapter 32, Broken rewrite)… The discussion of chapter 32 focused on elements (music/mountain whisper occurrences….size of the character, SouthWind) that are easily interrupted by our fragmented reading schedule in TWS. Action was deemed slow by some. Can an eagle really cradle a lamb within its talons? All dynamics that earn a second look by this author.  Thanks!

— Jerry Peterson (Christmas stories, “The Christmas Angel” and “The Last Goodbye”, part 1)… The critiques were limited to “The Christmas Angel.” While Jerry thought he had posted the second story, he hadn’t. There was much discussion about whether the dishwasher at the Tiny Towne Diner truly was an angel—what caused her glow, what was the lighting like at the live Nativity, was she a miracle worker? Jack suggested a better line for Reverend Joe to The Fish. Rather than “your friend there is a miracle worker,” “your friend there has the touch.” John argued for keeping miracle worker as more appropriate to a Christmas story.

Who’s up next . . .

As, yes, January 5. Next week:

Kashmira Sheth (chapters 1-2a, Nina Soni, Book 5)

Jaime Nelson Noven (Chapters 5-6, Outsleep)

Mike Austin (???)

Amber Boudreau (Chapters 1-2, The Dragoneer 2)

John Schneller (Chapter 33, Broken rewrite)

Larry Sommers (Chapters 31-32, Dizzy on Wry)

Our editor . . .

Kashmira Sheth takes on the editorship for our two January issues of Writer’s Mail. If you have something you’d like her to include in the next issue, do email it to her.

Oh, for the really good quip or insult . . .

Few were better at coming up with them than Dorothy Parker, book critic, columnist, and writer at her peak in the 1920s and ’30s. She was a member of the then famous Algonquin Roundtable.

Literary Hub ran some of Parker’s best a couple years ago, and the article was reposted this week. It’s worth a read. Here’s the link: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/a-dorothy-parker-quip-for-every-occasion?utm_source=pocket-newtab

And now a sample, Dorothy Parker on being asked for writing advice: “If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.” (originally published in a review in Esquire, 1959)

The Book of my Enemy Has Been Remaindered . . .

Those of us on the call last meeting got to hear Larry read Clive James’s poem “The Book of my Enemy Has Been Remaindered.” If you’d like to read it for yourself or pass it along to a friend, here it is in full.

Writer House Rules: Questions in Publishing . . .

Q: Should I go with Publisher A or Publisher B?

A: There are many considerations when choosing a publisher (the advance and royalties, marketing promises, etc.), but one thing you should do is check up on how they might present your book within the book industry.  

Did you know that you can look at the way your (prospective) publisher presents its books to booksellers and librarians? Log onto Edelweiss Plus (free to sign up) and do a search for one of the upcoming or recent books in your (prospective) publisher’s catalog.

Make sure the publisher is representing their books properly to the bookselling community: Do they have a full description, author bio, cover image, and comparable titles? If the listing is missing these basic things, that could be a red flag.

Do they have an illustrated banner ad above the book listing, at least for its biggest books of the season? If so, this could indicate they have some kind of marketing budget, as these placements, though not expensive, do cost money.

If you’re looking to compare publishers, have a look at their marketing plans on Edelweiss. They may even have downloadable sales material, such as a sell sheet or pop chart. Have a look at several of the publishers’ new books and make comparisons. Which publisher seems to be putting in more effort toward getting booksellers the information they need to make their purchasing decisions?

The History (and Myth) of Show Don’t Tell

An excerpt of the essay “Thoughts on Exposition” by Kim Stanley Robinson, as printed in Wonderbook by Jeff Vandermeer:

Nineteenth-century fiction contained more exposition than twentieth-century fiction. Often a prominent narrator would comment on the action, detail settings, or histories, direct the reader’s responses, ruminate philosophically, judge characters, report the water, or in many other ways generalize. One of modernism’s reaction against all this was to remove the narrator as a character and present stories without comment, as if by way of a “camera eye” (plus its audio recorder). This narrative stance meant that many kinds of exposition could not be done at all, and the usual work of fiction in this mode was made up of a string of dramatized scenes, which readers interpreted by following subtle or not-so-subtle cues. This was the moment when Percy Lubbock advocated “show don’t tell” (in The Craft of Fiction, 1921). Hemingway’s popularity might have helped spread the mode, Dashiell Hammett possibly helped it along; in science fiction, Robert Heinlein famously dismissed all the old-fashioned exposition of the Encyclopedia Galactica with his sentence “The door dilated.”

For a while after that, “camera eye” and its dramatized scenes dominated. Then One Hundred Years of Solitude, a novel with no dialogue or fully dramatized scenes, a tale told by a teller, was published and celebrated. “Show don’t tell” completely failed to account for its greatness, and there was a paradigm breakdown in that failure, and now we live in more open-minded times. Fiction still contains many dramatized scenes, but narrative methods have gotten a lot more flexible and various. Some writers have flourished using expository forms as frameworks, including Calvin, Lem, Ballard, Borges, Russ, Le Guin, Guy Davenport, Cortazar, and Coover. Stories have appeared in the forms of indexes, scientific reports, prefaces, glossaries, tarot readings, abstracts, constitutions, Post-it notes, encyclopedia entries, book reviews, racing cards, you name it.

The last word . . .

“Dialogue gives you the illusion of moment-to-moment sensual experience—after all, these are the words this character is speaking aloud in the moment—but in bad dialogue, all you’re getting is the information, exposition, or emotional declaration; and that’s where your summary, your generalizations, your abstraction, your analysis run and hide in plain sight. Beware of that as you work to get that unselected, unironic, there-for-information stuff out of your writing: it’s going to try to find a new home in the mouths of your characters.” –Robert Olen Butler, From Where You Dream: The Process of Writing Fiction

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Tuesdays with Story
November 20, 2020

The first word . . .

“Perhaps if we recognize the pleasure in form that can be derived from fairy tales, we might be able to move beyond a discussion of who has more of a claim to the ‘realistic’ or the classical in contemporary letters. An increased appreciation of the techniques in fairy tales not only forges a mutual appreciation between writers from so-called mainstream and avant-garde traditions but also, I would argue, connects all of us in the act of living.”

—Kate Bernheimer, writer, editor, and critic

Zooming Tuesday evening . . .

Nine TWS colleagues gathered on their screens to work through the chapters of six of their fellow writers. Here is some of what was said:

Kashmira Sheth (chapters 19-20, Journey to Swaraj) . . . Most of the comments were how to pick up pace and maybe combine the two chapters. There were some discussions about how to use foreign words. Also, there was a suggestion about providing more details about the past massacre.

Mike Austin (short story, “Hunter’s Moon”) . . . My short story, “Hunter’s Moon,” was well-received, with only few comments, such as the changing werewolves should not have enough awareness to register fear on the victim’s face. And it needs to be shown that they head him off before he reaches his vehicle. Thanks everyone for a fun evening!

Jack Freiburger (poems, “Fall Fire” and “Snow Day”) . . . Two accessible poems this week seemed generally acceptable.  Considering the simplicity of them, non-literary, I didn’t expect much comment, but it seems readers liked them, which was the goal. Spent most of my editing time on Jerry and Amit/Kashmira offering, where I feel I actually can contribute something as a reader.

Amit Trivedi (chapters 3-6, Keeper of the Keys) . . . 1. Start chapter 3 with smoke from the train. 2. Remove like ‘living in the past’ replace it with  something like ‘do we need to repay all our debts’ or let the story convey the meaning. 3. Use water in place of river. Has broader meaning. 4. Sharing food in the train—why? Does not move the story.

— John Schneller (chapter 30, Broken rewrite) . . . Several words struck people as being inappropriate for the setting—kid, crazy—better words, better story.  Jamie wanted clarity on the new hawk that flew in and out of the scene. Everyone felt that Witomzil’s discourse on when to fight needed to be shortened or broken up. I agree. And who better to break up a speech than an impatient squirrel hating dragon. The general rule of fantasy . . . never waste a dragon.

(more…)

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Writer’s Mail

Tuesdays with Story
October 14, 2020

The first word . . .

“Nevertheless, language is as important an invention

as fire. Language―good language―is practically

a “fire that burns unseen.’ And certain lines of poetry

make us, at the same time ‘content and discontent,’

multiplying an ambiguity that exist in all that exist,

for nothing in this world is clear,

save for imbeciles, the world itself.

― Goncalo M. Tavares, “A Voyage to India”. Translated by Rhett McNeil.

And they gathered once more . . .

Ten, including Paul Wagner whom we haven’t seen for a while, gathered Tuesday evening to critique the works of seven of their colleagues. Here is some of what was said:

Jack Freiburger (short and long synopses, A Walk upon the Water). . .

The one page should include a few lines from the longer version, but stay at one page as few prospective publishers will read more.  The two plus page seems to be the better document, but the issue is getting any one to read it.

Kashmira Sheth (chapter 13, Journey to Swaraj). . .

Kashmira submitted chapter 14th of her story Journey to Swaraj. One of the important points was where to put Veena’s thoughts about Mayur’s intention. The group also pointed out that there needed to be more emotions weaved with dialogues throughout the chapter and maybe replace speech tags with action. 

Jaime Nelson Noven (chapter 3, Outsleep). . .

 Huckle made a good observation about the negative way Rice describes other female characters. I will look at this. Jack suggested a way to develop the opening jokes more. Larry liked the surprise that it was not Fred’s funeral but his retirement. Thanks, all!

Huckle Rahr (chapter 26, Wolf Healer). . .

This week’s chapter was pivotal in that Jane saw her first where she was part of the killing. The general opinion was that there needs to be more mention of T.J. prior to this interaction so that his death has more meaning to the reader. The readers need to know him better. After the death, Jade needs to have more of a moment of soul searching. Once she joins her family Cindy’s reaction was too melodramatic, there should be a build up, and maybe add some ritualistic animal grieving practices. 

Amit Trivedi (chapters 1-2 rewrite, Keeper of the Keys). . .

Explain the significance of praying to Ganesh.

There are many side characters in the first chapter. Rewrite with the focus on the main ones.

Consider something with the word ‘Tree’ as the title of the book.

Mike Austin (short story, “Maiden Voyage”). . .

“Maiden Voyage” received many favorable comments from everyone. Most mentioned was that the narrator’s name and gender be presented soon in the story to avoid confusion. There needs to be a little more clarity in the descriptions at the accident scene in the beginning, Becky interacting with the victim, someone calling the ambulance. There needs to be more menace from the two kids in the park, and it might be too much of a coincidence that these same two people show up five days later in the wilderness, whether I like the idea or not. And if they do, the driving distance needs to be shortened. Also, there is confusion, understandably, between the two menacing kids and the kids who just came out from camping. I’m thinking I’ll just get rid of them and have a pair of park rangers show up instead. Thanks Everyone!

— John Schneller (chapter 27, Broken rewrite). . .

Most found the chapter to be an easy read…. especially those who like to find dragons and wyverns popping out of unexplored caves. Janie pointed out a few clarifications needed. Larry had a few spots he felt were overwritten. Huckle requested rewriting some of the sparring action.  Thanks to all.

Who’s up next . . . 

October 20

Kashmira Sheth (chapter, Journey to Swaraj)

Jack Freiburger (long poem)

Amber Boudreau (chapters, Second Nature)

Larry Sommers (chapters, Dizzy)

John Schneller (chapter, Broken rewrite)

Jerry Peterson (chapters 10, For Want of a Hand)

Our editor . . .

Amit Trivedi runs Writer’s Mail this month. If you have something you’d like him to include in the next issue, please email it to him.

When a period can get you in trouble . . .

NPR’s Weekend Edition Saturday last month included a story headlined ARE YOUR TEXTS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE?

It’s a story about punctuation. Here it is:

Katherine Rooks remembers when she first learned that a punctuation mark could wield a lot of power.

The Denver-based writer had sent her high school-aged son a text message about logistics—coming home from school.

“I could tell from his response that he was agitated all of a sudden in our thread. And when he came home, he walked in the door and he came over and he said, ‘What did you mean by this?’ ”

Rooks was confused. How could an innocuous text message send confusion?

“And so we looked at the text together and I said, ‘Well, I meant, see you later, or something. I don’t remember exactly what it said.’ And he said, ‘But you ended with a period! I thought you were really angry!’ ”

Rooks wasn’t angry, and she explained to her son that, well, periods are how you end a sentence.

But in text messaging—at least for younger adults—periods do more than just end a sentence: they also can set a tone.

Gretchen McCulloch, a linguist and author of the book Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language, told NPR’s All Things Considered last year that when it comes to text messaging, the period has lost its original purpose because rather needing a symbol to indicate the end of a sentence, you can simply hit send on your message.

That doesn’t mean the period has lost all purpose in text messaging. Now it can be used to indicate seriousness or a sense of finality.

But caution is needed, said McCulloch, noting that problems can start to arise when you combine a period with a positive sentiment, such as “Sure” or “Sounds good.”

“Now you’ve got positive words and serious punctuation and the clash between them is what creates that sense of passive-aggression,” said McCulloch.

Binghamton University psychology professor Celia Klin says a period can inadvertently set a tone, because while text messaging may function like speech, it lacks many of the expressive features of face-to-face verbal communication, like “facial expressions, tone of voice, our ability to elongate words, to say some things louder, to pause.”

Our language has evolved, and “what we have done with our incredible linguistic genius is found ways to insert that kind of emotional, interpersonal information into texting using what we have,” said Klin. “And what we have is things like periods, emoticons, other kinds of punctuation. So people have repurposed the period to mean something else.”

And that something else is passive-aggression.

A 2015 study conducted by Klin confirmed as much. Researchers asked undergraduates to evaluate a text exchange that included an innocent question and the answer “Yup.” Some saw “Yup” with a period and some saw the word without.

“And we found consistently through many experiments that ‘Yup’ with a period resulted in responses that were more negative. So people thought ‘Yup’ with a period was less friendly, less sincere, and so on.”

“I actually really don’t like getting text messages that end in periods because it always feels so harsh and passive-aggressive,” said Juan Abenante Rincon, 24, a social media manager for Adidas. “Like, are you mad? What’s going on? Like, did I do something wrong?”

Emma Gometz, a biology student at Columbia University, said the phenomenon can feel especially harsh when the message is brief, like a lone word followed by a period.

“If it’s like ‘OK.’, that’s like, ‘I don’t want to talk to you anymore,’ ” said Gometz, 21.

Kalina Newman, 23, a communications coordinator for the AFL-CIO, said, “It’s in the same vein of somebody saying, ‘We need to talk,’ and then not saying what they want to talk about.”

In other words, enough to send a chill down anyone’s spine.

Not everyone shares that view. Isabelle Kravis, 18, a student at American University, says it depends on the context of the conversation.

“If we’re just talking about, like, our favorite movie or something, and someone uses a period at the end of a sentence, I’m not gonna take it, like, aggressively.”

While Kravis is relatively zen when it comes to the period, for others, the thought of texting without it can be enraging. Klin said that her texting study sparked outrage among many.

“They thought it was an insult to their first-grade teacher, and their grandmother, and, you know, America as we know it,” she said.

Klin said the entire debate demonstrates that language is constantly changing—and that’s OK.

“Language evolution’s always happened, it’s going to continue to happen, and isn’t it great that we are so linguistically flexible and creative.”

From Jamie…

Writer House Rules: Questions in Publishing . . .

Look, I’m no acquisitions editor, but have you tried writing your query letter with your marketing hat on?

You may have heard that editors are looking for debut authors who already have a big network or social media following. These are no doubt helpful things, but barring that, if you can use facts to (briefly) illustrate how your book is almost guaranteed to find a big audience, this may make up for the fact that you have only eleven Twitter followers.

·      Can you name two comparable titles that (1) came out in the last few years (not including 2020 because of weird lockdown buying behavior), (2) have the same audience as your book, and (3) have sold really well—though not laughablywell (that is, don’t list Harry Potter)?

·      Can you think of three keyword phrases that are related to your book that get tons of search engine traffic, Amazon searches, or social media hashtags? (For example, how many people are googling “werewolf books” in any given month? And is it a trend or is that search behavior here to stay?)

·      If you know a potential blurber for your book, is that person a Facebook ad target? How many people follow them on social media? How many people follow them on Goodreads? In recent years, blurbs have become more important than ever. Network, network, network!

The last word . . .

“The thing is that if the connection between men were perfect it would never have been necessary to invent language.”― Goncalo M. Tavares, “A Voyage to India”. Translated by Rhett McNeil.

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Tuesdays with Story
August 21, 2020

The first word . . .

How to begin a new piece? “Look for a sentence that interests you, a sentence whose possibilities you like because of the potential you see in its wake. I don’t mean a ‘fantastic first sentence’ or one that sounds ‘introductory.’ I don’t mean a sentence that sounds first because it sounds like other first sentences you’ve read. I don’t mean the kind of first sentence teachers sometimes talk about—the one that grabs the reader. The reader doesn’t need grabbing. She needs to feel your interest in the sentence you’ve chosen to make. Nothing more.”

―Verlyn Klinkenborg, Several Short Sentences About Writing

Tuesday evening, oh, so non-political for TWS . . .

Eight gathered on Zoom to critique the work of six of their colleagues, and no one asked are we going to adjourn on time so I can watch the second hour of the Democratic National Convention. Larry lent a casual tone to the evening by every now and then sipping from his glass of wine. Here is some of what was said in the critiques:

Kashmira Sheth (children’s picture book, Dot and Dash!) . . . Kashmira shared her picture book manuscript with the group. Most like the concept. John suggested changing one part of the ending. Jerry asked about the Pentagon doing five things to prepare Dot for the race. Larry asked what Dash means by “If I lose, I am doomed.” Huckle pointed out that a dash with two dots was also a division sign. Thank you all for your comments. (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
July 24, 2020

The first word . . .

“You wrote down that you were a writer by profession. It sounded to me like the loveliest euphemism I had ever heard. When was writing ever your profession? It’s never been anything but your religion. Never. I’m a little over-excited now. Since it is your religion, do you know what you will be asked when you die? But let me tell you first what you won’t be asked. You won’t be asked if you were working on a wonderful moving piece of writing when you died. You won’t be asked if it was long or short, sad or funny, published or unpublished. You won’t be asked if you were in good or bad form while you were working on it. You won’t even be asked if it was the one piece of writing you would have been working on if you had known your time would be up when it was finished–I think only poor Soren K. will get asked that. I’m so sure you’ll get asked only two questions.’ Were most of your stars out? Were you busy writing your heart out? If only you knew how easy it would be for you to say yes to both questions. If only you’d remember before ever you sit down to write that you’ve been a reader long before you were ever a writer. You simply fix that fact in your mind, then sit very still and ask yourself, as a reader, what piece of writing in all the world Buddy Glass would most want to read if he had his heart’s choice. The next step is terrible, but so simple I can hardly believe it as I write it. You just sit down shamelessly and write the thing yourself. I won’t even underline that. It’s too important to be underlined. Oh, dare to do it, Buddy ! Trust your heart. You’re a deserving craftsman. It would never betray you.”

― J.D. Salinger, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction

Tuesday evening on WebEx . . .

Our experiment with WebEx was, shall we say, challenging. The audio problems were such that several members dropped out. More on that later. But for the moment, here’s whose work was up for critiques and some of what was said: (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
July 10, 2020

The first word . . .

Billy Wilder’s 10 Screenwriting Tips:

  • The audience is fickle.
  • Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.
  • Develop a clean line of action for your leading character.
  • Know where you’re going.
  • The more subtle and elegant you are in hiding your plot points, the better you are as a writer.
  • If you have a problem with the third act, the real problem is in the first act.
  • A tip from Lubitsch: Let the audience add up two plus two. They’ll love you forever.
  • In doing voice-overs, be careful not to describe what the audience already sees. Add to what they’re seeing.
  • The event that occurs at the second act curtain triggers the end of the movie.
  • The third act must build, build, build in tempo and action until the last event, and then—that’s it. Don’t hang around.

Tuesday evening on Zoom . . .

Storms prevented John Schneller from using his computer to reach us on Zoom, so he joined us by way of his cellphone. Seven others, though, joined us in the regular way. Here is some of what was said in the critiques: (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
June 21, 2020

The first word . . .

“You may well ask me why…I took time to write [books]. I can only reply that I do to know. There was no why about it. I had to: that was all.
― George Bernard Shaw

Zooming in from New York . . .

TWS alumnae Jaime Nelson Noven joined the group Tuesday evening from NYC where she works as a promotion pro for a new imprint at MacMillan. She will now be a regular with us for a long as we meet on Zoom.  We had a full house for critiques. Here is some of what was said:

— Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi

            Story of Ba and Virabha would be better if conveyed in section alternating with present events. Transition after Ba and Virabha’s marriage to losing their son is abrupt.  This chapter has added depth to Virabha’s and Ba’s character and fits well in the overall story. Thanks all! (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
June 7, 2020

The first word . . .

“I feel devoutly thankful to have been born fond of writing.”

― Winston Churchill

Zoom-zoom . . .

Zoom isn’t without its problems. Delayed voice transmissions and audio breakups forced John to leave Tuesday evening’s meeting early. Here are summaries of the critiques those who were on the schedule received:

— John Schneller (chapter 20, Broken rewrite)

While I have tried to embrace the RUE (Resist the Urge to Explain) concept, my minimalist approach left most readers guessing Broken’s distrust, the thief and murderer qualities of the shepherds, the subversive technique to convince the ewe to accept a lamb not her own, and why did he reach into the pouch and bring out nothing (visible). Looks like I has some esplainin to do! (me no edit John’s righting) Thanks for the input.  John (more…)

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