Tuesdays With Story
February 21, 2023
First Word…
“Writing is not an exercise in excision, it’s a journey into sound.”
—E. B. White, author, essayist
Tuesday evening…
Eight TWS writers met via Google Meet to discuss works-in-progress. Here is a summary of what was said:
—Kashmira Sheth (Raj’s Coat Story)… Kashmira submitted a picture book manuscript. Most of the comments were positive. Jack and Larry suggested some tweaking about the food and also the ending. Bob liked the part with pockets and said it was magical! Amit suggested changing, “buttons running up and down,” to “buttons flying up and down.” Judy suggested adding smell, texture etc. in certain parts of the story. Amber enjoyed the story. Thank you!
—Larry F. Sommers (Blood Mercy, Pt. 2, Chs, 2-4)…Jack suggested a better characterization of the land and physical environment and made a compelling case that the expository material from Chapter 4 should be moved forward to follow close on the hospital scene. Kashmira wanted a good deal more emotion from Jag and Mom. Several people commented that if Jag is a planner by nature, his planning seems curiously deficient, and he should be able to nimbly switch plans. Thanks everybody, good comments.
—Amit Trivedi (If Not For the Partition, Chs. 6-7)…
1. Make stronger the connection between the easily fractured ivory bracelets and the partition.
2. Clarify Mohan Kaka invitation scene.
3. Expand on the relationship with Uma and Gauri Masi.
Thanks, Amit
—Jack Freiburger (Jesus at the Ihop, III & IV)…Larry did not like the return to present in the Ihop and want Jesus in more scenes to decrease straight exposition, which I shall attempt
Discussion followed with Kashmira and Amit regarding reader reaction. They indicated they liked the story and had picked up a few basic ideas about early Christianity. I and Larry suggested they know as much now about early Christianity and many Christians, who lack basic knowledge about the evolution of belief, the growth of religious hierarchy, etc.
—Amber Boudreau (Second Act, Chs, 27-28)… Amber read from the middle of chapter 27. Amit thought the introduction of the three male characters at the end of chapter 28 was well done. Larry thought the good cop/ bad cop part went down okay. Jack found some conjunctions he wanted to cut but he thought the humor was done well. He’s not sure about the name Pollo for a detective. Amber isn’t either. She might change it.
Here’s who’s up on March 7…
Suzanne Gillingham – ?
Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi – If Not For the Partition
Bob Kralapp – Delay, a short story
Amber Boudreau – Second Act
Jack Freiburger – Jesus at the Ihop
Paul Wagner – ?
Our Editor for March…
Amber Boudreau will serve as editor of Writer’s Mail for the next two issues. She is always on the lookout for good things to include, and so if you have something you want her to include, do email it to her.
A Word From Suzanne Gillingham…
Just had to share with a group I knew would understand!
Last Word…
“One must hear the story.”
—Jhumpa Lahiri, Pulitzer Prize-winning author, essayist, translator
Tuesdays with Story 
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