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Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
December 13, 2015

 

The first word . . .

“A well-told story is an arrangement of words and images that re-creates life-like characters, issues, ideas, and events in a way that promises dramatic fulfillment of our needs, and then delivers on that promise.”
– Bill Johnson, author and teacher (website: http://www.storyispromise.com/)

 

Who’s up next . . .

December 15: Alicia Connolly-Lohr (part 2, Ricin Unleashed), Kashmira Sheth (chapters 5-7, Nina Soni), Pat Edwards (3 poems), Cindi Dyke (chapter 24, North Road), Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapter 1 rewrite, novel), Bob Kralapp (???), and Jerry Peterson (short story, “Three Kings of Kansas”).

* First-and-third meets at Alicia Ashman Branch Library.

December 22:
* Second-and-fourth meets at The Chocolaterian Cafe.

January 5: Lisa McDougal (chapter 46, Tebow Family Secret), Alicia Connolly-Lohr (part 3, Ricin Unleashed), Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapter, novel), Judith McNeil (???), Millie Mader (???), and Kashmira Sheth (chapters, Nina Soni).
* First-and-third returns to Barnes & Noble Westside.

 

Goodreads and you . . .

Have you joined Goodreads? If you haven’t, you should. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
December 3, 2015

 
The first word . . .

“When you’ve finished your script, proofread it carefully. Don’t read it as if it’s your baby and you love every word of it. Pretend you’re the world’s toughest editor. Look for every fault you can find in story structure, dialogue, characterization, and motivation. And keep rewriting until your script is as good as you can possibly make it.”
– Stan Lee (1922- ), writer and creator of comic book super heroes, from his memoir, Amazing Fantastic Incredible

 

What you missed if you weren’t with us . . .

Here’s what happened at first-and-third group’s gathering Tuesday evening at Alicia Ashman:

Lisa McDougal (chapter 44-45, Tebow Family Secret) – Pat Edwards, Alicia Connolly-Lohr, Judith McNeil, Millie Mader, and Cindi Dyke thought the chapter moved well and fast, although Jerry Peterson suggested it needs more action to break up the long sections of dialogue. Pat and Jerry didn’t like the swearing; Cindi, Judith, and Alicia didn’t mind it. Cindi wanted some sort of reaction from a certain character regarding the fate of another character.

Alicia Connolly-Lohr (short story, part 1, “Ricin Unleashed”) – The group generally liked it. Good sexual tension; there’s anticipation of something steamy. Needs correct technological terms. Male lead needs to be vulnerable. Too many K’s in the names of people and places. (more…)

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WRITER’S MAIL
Tuesdays With Story
November 5,2015

Nov. 2nd Meeting

Lisa- The Tebow Family Secret, Chap42, A Trusted Friend  Alicia thought the plot moved well.  Pat suggested that the reason for Sadie’s presence in this chapter be explained.  Rest of the group thought it moved well.

Millie– Poem, “Using The Pen To Heal”, Lisa thought there were two voices in each stanza, in the alternating stanzas.  Pat liked the line “Life will turn new pages.”  Bob suggested writing from last stanza back.  Cindi felt like it was a poem in which narrator is counseling others.  Alicia suggested adding in some personal anecdotes in between.

Bob– “Letters”, Part 2.  Alicia liked anecdotes about the war.  Group suggested that Bob put more steaminess into the letters so as we know why they’re to be kept from the kids.  Cindi asked about the main character.  Bob said the main character is the husband and that his reactions to the letters give ideas of how he was as a young man.

Amit and Kashmira- 1st and 2nd chapters—Lisa felt Kedar seemed more interested in keeping friends than getting back to Uma, his fiance.  Everyone liked the chapters.  Amit said that beginning with Uma’s preparation for wedding started story off on softer foot, than beginning with Kedar in middle of the crisis and chaos of the division of the country.  Alicia suggested they put in a short prologue to explain the historical conflict, and to add in a map of the region, as well. (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
Writer’s Mail
October 26, 2015

“The basic elements of language are physical: the noise words make, the sounds and silences that make the rhythms marking their relationships. Both the meaning and the beauty of writing depend on these sounds and rhythms.” – Ursala K. Le Guin (1929), fantasy and sci-fi author

Judith McNeil Smashwords Author!
Check out Judith’s new book on Smashwords. Note that you may have to open the Adult filter to see the book (a few curse words!).

My Mother Savior of Men by Judith G. McNeil
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 33,300. Language: American English. Published: September 11, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
The relationship between Charles and his mother becomes eroded when he decides to sabotage her decision to publish her poetry in a book that includes artistic nude pictures of her. He doesn’t realize that this is a proxy attack on her seeming inability to maintain a long term relationship. (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
Writer’s Mail
October 7, 2015

“The writer has to be responsible to signs and dreams. If you don’t do anything with it, you lose it.” – Joy Williams, from 2014, The Paris Review

Notes from 1st and 3rd
Kashmira submitted some poems from Turban Boy. Jerry and Lisa thought they will make a good edition to my other poems. Bob liked one part about friends being tangled up in your life. Cindi wanted to see all the poems.

Jerry (short story, “Floater”) – “Is that the end?” Bob Kralapp asked of the end of the story. “Yes,” said Jerry, “you know what’s going to happen after the brothers confess to the murder.” To keep “Floater” a short story, he said he had to make decisions on what to leave out. Jerry agreed that opens the possibility that “Floater” could be rewritten and expanded into a longer story or even a novella.

Lisa – Millie wondered why did Izzy need to go to the hospital. Kashmira liked the ending, found it intriguing. Thinks there needs to be more inner thoughts from Adam about how he’s feeling about Jessica and Izzy. Also, there should be more sexual tension between Adam and Izzy. Cindi, thought chapter flowed well. Some parts in phrasing could be changed. Jerry thinks Adam and Izzy are together because they had sex and that Adam’s going to have a big problem (later) getting rid of Jessica. Johnnie Walker too strong for two people to get have sex afterwards and should be changed to a bottle of wine from Aldi’s. Make Izzy a bit more hungover. (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
September 20, 2015

 

“Half my life is an act of revision.”– John Irving

 

Notes from September 2015, Week 3

Lisa MP, Tebow Family Secret, chapter 38-39: Mo thought chapter 38 should stay. POV of Geoff confusing. More discussion about what Tebows are doing while Ahna is missing. Judith says condense chp 38. Liked 39, Good sense of Izzy’s family. Pat agrees 38 should stay, but thinks Geoff comes off as a prick. Assistant should whisper information about Ahna. Thought chapter moved along well. Kashmira believes chapter 38 reinforces the Tebows motive and is intriguing. Thinks chapter 39 needs to have Izzy interact with kids more. Jerry can tell a clear distinction between Ahna and Izzy.

Millie, Epilogue for Life On Hold:  Lisa corrected CNN info because that network was not in existence during the time of the epilogue. She also believes this should be further along in their lives. Pat think maybe have others describe what’s happening. Comes across as a list of things instead of a story. Pat and Jerry don’t believe an epilogue is needed. Group agrees this doesn’t add much to her story and that her last chapter was a better ending. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail

WRITER’S MAIL
Tuesdays With Story
August 20,2015

 

Aug. 18th Meeting

Jerry Peterson’s chapters 9-12 from his crime novella, Killing Ham, drew two comments of significance.  First, when Carsarota steps on a Matchbox car with his bare foot, while coming down the stairs in the dark, it has to draw more than an ouch and a muttered swear word.  Casarota has to yowl, said several, because it really hurts.  Second, the title… “When I first saw the title,” Pat Edwards said, “I thought it must have something to do with the Bible story of Ham.”  In chapter 11, someone bombs a truck carrying hogs to a slaughter plant, thus the title, “Killing Ham.”

Lisa’s The Tebow Family Secret, chapters 34 and 35 were well received.  Jerry commented that the horse accident in Chapter 34 didn’t seem realistic.  He said that a buck wouldn’t run towards a horse as it would view the horse as a predator.  He also mentioned that if Izzy had hit her head on a rock, she may have been knocked unconscious and probably wouldn’t have remembered all of the details of her previous life at once.  So Pat suggested that Izzy should fall on dirt and that possibly the horse would be startled by a snake.  Everyone liked Chapter 35, mentioned that the ending definitely was a page turner. (more…)

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