Tuesdays with Story
October 21, 2016
Who’s up next . . .
November 1: Pat Edwards (???), Hannah Marshall (poems, Earthy Things” and “Foster Child”), Kashmira Sheth (???), John Schneller (chapter 6, Final Stronghold), Eva Mays (chapter 6, Dhuoda), Bob Kralapp (???), and Amber Boudreau (chapter 9, The Dragoneer).
November 15: Millie Mader (poem), Jen Wilcher (chapter, fictional autobiography), Nora O’Reilly (chapter, Bill McCormick’s Bliss), Judith McNeil (???), Cindi Dyke (chapter, North Road), and Meg Goss (chapter, novel).
Tuesday eve at the B&N . . .
New member Meg Goss joined the circle of first-and-thirders as did Jen Wilcher, formerly of our sister group. Here’s some of what was shared during the critique session:
– Millie Mader (poem, “Loss of Innocense”) . . . Generally, I think my poem was pretty well received. A few word changes were suggested.
– Nora O’Reilly (chapter 5, Bill McCormick’s Bliss) . . . Jerry corrected me: the commander in chief is the abbot, where his prior would be chief of staff. I can easily cut down on my use of ‘really’ or ‘very.’ Most importantly I need to find a more compelling reason as to why Joel is returning to Madison. Perhaps trying to let Bill and Evelyn reunite so she can tell him about their son is enough. I do need to consider Bill’s reaction to the impending danger of Joel returning to the city of his crime. I have to investigate the statute of limitations on murder and what consequences Joel would face if he were caught in the present times. A few wording changes were also suggested.
– Tracey Gemmell (chapter 1-2, novel) . . . Group felt it was generally well written and humorous. Jerry noted some hyphenation issues and suggested some segmentation of longer paragraphs into short, punchy ones to add emphasis.Group pointed out that some British terms may require further explanation for an American audience, and that Taylor’s age required clarification, as they initially thought she was younger than she was. Pat noted she didn’t feel chapter two was as believable as chapter one, and she requested more explanation as to whether Taylor had quit her job or was fired. (more…)