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Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
October 19, 2018

They gathered at the bookstore

John Schneller led 11 TWS members gathered in the writers circle through critiques of the works of seven of their colleagues. Here is some of what was shared:

Lisa McDougal (chapter 6, The Tebow Family Secret): There was some confusion about why Adam gave Jessica a Sprite instead of a beer when she asked (under age). It was suggested that the African mask be made less valuable so that it would be more believable that Adam would have it. Also to rework line about camera being new. Tracey recommended I change the lines from the movie because of copy right issue. Larry thought the ending wasn’t subtle enough.

Millie Mader (Short story, rewrite, “Stone Cold Stripper”): My only contribution is that I’m going to do more rewriting. (sigh!!)

Jack Freiburger (chapter 18, A Walk Upon the Water):

Bob Kralapp (short story, part 1, “Capacity”): (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays With Story
July 9, 2013

Writer’s quotation . . .
“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.” — Ernest Hemingway

Tuesday at B&N . . .(thank you, Carol)
Summer activities are in full swing, keeping our members busy. A few of us did gather to go over a stories and two chapters.

First off, kudus to Katelin Cummins, who is up to 13,000 words in the NaNoWriMo Boot Camp! She’s discovering the freedom of just writing to see what happens and worrying about editing later. NaNoWriMo Boot Camp runs through the end of July.

Ray Woodruff presented his short story, “Head of Household.” Rebecca declared it “very freaky” overall (yes, this is a compliment) but thought with all the smog and pollution that the main character might cough and wheeze a bit. She also wanted a definition of “bikes” – bicycles or motorcycles? Katelin loved the way it read, and didn’t want it to end. Jen particularly enjoyed the first line, “Vehicles strangled the highway ahead.” Carol had a little trouble with the premise that people had to volunteer to die because all disease had been wiped out so people didn’t die naturally. Seemed like car accidents and lung disease, at the very least, would take out a certain number of people on a regular basis. She wondered if the Front was actually up to something else. Ruth liked the imagery of the buildings – they were clearly tall and overcrowded. One technical point: don’t use both Anna and Annabelle for the wife, pick one to be consistent. (And Katelin, thinking deviously, wondered if the sister-in-law could have been sent, instead…)

Ruth Imhoff brought in a rewrite of chapter 3 of Motto of the Hound. Starting with the end, Katelin liked the fact that the building wasn’t there. Ray felt that the detectives should have pressed for more detail/description of these people of interest, something beyond “loud.” He liked the intrigue, but said the scene would benefit from more (more…)

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