Tuesdays with Story

Tuesday with Story

August 17, 2021

First word…

Most humor depends on specificity. It’s funnier to say that a cheese steak tastes better when you’re leaning up against a Pontiac than when you are leaning up against a car.

– Calvin Trillin

Here’s who presented Tuesday evening…

Kashmira Sheth – (Chapter 1, Nina Soni, Best Hostess and chapter 10, rewrite, Nina Soni, Snow Spy)…I submitted the first chapter of Nina Soni, Best Hostess. The main concern was keeping things simple for new readers, using active voice, and maybe playing around with a different starting point. All were excellent suggestions. I also resubmitted a revised chapter of  Nina Soni, Snow Spy. There were no major concerns there. Thank you all.

John Schneller (Chapters 16-17, Precious Daughter)…Jerry wanted to clear up some disparity on fishing, both the numbers, and what ones does with a grub once it in your hands. Larry wanted clarity on how long the boys would help cooking. Amit pointed out too much falling in the dance, while Kashmira pointed out that it slows down when the dance routine was described twice. Jamie noticed Kotel was a bystander in the opening. These things can be fixed! Thanks to all for the keen powers of observation.

Amit Trivedi (Chapter 1, The Patels)… Kashmira and Amit submitted the first two pages of their new story, The Patels. The “muhurat” word needs to be explained more. Also, that paragraph was confusing. Significance of the tray with idols in the first paragraph needs to be elaborated. Have Kishore see a figure lurking outside when he opens the drapes. Make clear that the mill (smoke rising from the mill) belongs to Kishore.

Larry Sommers (Short story, An Episode)…Some were mostly mystified by aimless meandering of main character Wayne. Some perceived a man’s life trajectory reversed by an unfortunate encounter with a street beggar. The permanency of Walter’s new confusion needs to be made clear. His plans to unseat his rival in a classical society should be better developed and highlighted. The role of his wife Mavis could be strengthened, the pettiness of Caedmon Truescott and his wife Charmayne explained. Thanks, everybody.

Jerry Peterson (chapter 25, Night Flight) – Rachel and Mabel Wilhite are different from one another in about every way possible. Said Kashmira, “I could see that their love of Rooster was so great that they could negotiate” over the details of Rachel’s wedding dress—who’s going to make it, the fabric, the color, the style. Jaime wanted to see tension between the two. Mabel’s embroidery on Lottie’s wedding dress, Rachel could reveal through internal dialogue that she hates it. Amit suggested that, when Old Jeff comes in the house, he overhear a conversation between Mabel and Rachel. Kashmira said a seed had been planted with Lottie being battered, that worse was coming—foreshadowing. Several others agreed.

Here’s who’s up on September 7

Paul Wagner (???)

Amit Trivedi (chapter 1b, The Patels)

Jaime Nelson Noven (part 2, New York, After All)

Amber Boudreau (chapters 27-29, Dragoneer 2)

Jerry Peterson (chapter 26-27, Night Flight)

There is one slot open. The first writer to post gets it.

Fifth Tuesday at Jack’s

Jack Freiburger will host us to Fifth Tuesday at his farm on August 31. Bring some good food to put on the feasting table. Do this if you have not already done so, email Jack and tell him you’re coming and what you’re bringing.

Also bring your Fifth Tuesday writing challenge mini-masterpiece, a script for a 30-second radio or television commercial advertising your latest and greatest invention. Go one further. Also email copies of your commercial to Larry and Jerry.

Need inspiration for your commercial? Click on this link, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjCwtxao-XQ , to watch a 30-second commercial for Ron Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman.

If you want to know more about Popeil and his impact on selling things, watch this TV story developed by former NBC newsman Brian Williams. It’s a little less than 7 minutes long. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEkcidqkJT8

Our editor

Kashmira Sheth takes on Writer’s Mail next month for two issues. If you have something you’d like her to include in our next issue, do email it to Kashmira.

What do you know about Jack London?

The Call of the Wild, published in 1903, made the adventurer, war correspondent, and writer a celebrity. It was a long way from his hard scrabble youth. In 18 years, he would write 50 books, 20 of them novels.

His life was short. London died at age 40 in 1916.

Kenneth Brandt, executive coordinator of the Jack London Society, wrote a revealing story about the man for Smithsonian Magazine. It’s a good read. Here’s the link to it: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-short-frantic-rags-to-riches-life-of-jack-london

A sidelight. London’s The Call of the Wild has been filmed seven times, the silent movie in 1923, the 1935 Clark Gable version, the 1972 Charlton Heston version, the 1997 version with Rutger Hauer, the 2020 version with Harrison Ford, a 1981 anime version, and the 1979 Peanuts TV special What a Nightmare, Charlie Brown. In this one, Snoopy has a nightmare in which he’s an Artic sled dog.

The Last Word…

I think writers need tolerant people around them. They’re prickly and strange and needy, yet they demand to be left alone. – Hillary Mantel from “Just Write as Well as You Can”