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Posts Tagged ‘wordsmith.org’

Tuesdays with Story
October 16, 2013

“Easy reading is damned hard writing.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Notes from 10/15/2013
Lisa reads from the rewrite of her Chapter 4. Jerry didn’t get that one character was suffering from depression. Betsy thought the dialogue was very natural. Andy wonders why there is a bar at the library, but turns out it’s not just a library. Betsy questions the use of a certain word. Andy wonders how drunk one character really is. Pat wonders if the chapter might be stronger if she switches out the first two paragraphs. She suggest Lisa gets a real version of Word.

Bob shares Part two of Sunday Night. Judith was disappointed that the story ended. Andy was disappointed in the ending and wanted to know why one character was such a jerk and looking for others to theorize about it in the story. Pat was physically affected by the pathos of the characters. Bob wonders if there’s something missing. Jerry wonders why he chose to end the story with the focus in Chester. Amber reads an element of the supernatural and it reminds Pat of an old episode of The Outer Limits.

Andy shares Chapter four through six of The Void. Millie liked it and wonders about what the government is hiding from everyone. Jerry didn’t think it was a void because there are things there. Judith could see it animated. Pat thought it would be a good graphic novel. Pat also suggests writing down the rules for this universe somewhere. Pat also wants some mention of them wondering how they are going to get back in as they’ve just gotten out and they’re already planning about what they’re going to do when they get back in. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
9-04-31

September 3rd Meeting for 1st and 3rd Group
Lisa McDougal read from chapter 6 from Tebow Family Secret. Ruth commented that the dialogue was great and that the story flowed. Betsy found Adam’s discussion of the details surrounding his wife’s disappearance intriguing. Jerry commented that the reference that Jessica makes about her New Jersey accent needs to be spelled out so that the reader can “hear” it. He also suggested that the beginning of the chapter could be shortened. Lisa said that she didn’t like the ending of the chapter. Betsy suggested that she cut the last line. The rest of the group made suggestions that Jessica could just shrug, not making any response to Adam’s abrupt order to refrain from bringing up his wife’s disappearance in the future. Judith suggested that Jessica could just change the subject. Amber suggested that she could bring up something that happened earlier in the chapter.

Millie Mader read chapter 46 from Life On Hold . Andy and Lisa both felt that Scot’s last comment saying he wouldn’t be coming home for Christmas, could be more compelling if he gives the reason. Jerry suggested that Scot could say “That is going to be a problem”. There was also a discussion as to whether chemo was given as a shot or a drip at the time. Millie said it would be a drip and that shots of other medication were also administered. Andy mentioned that the conversation at the end between Erin and Dolly should have a smoother transition between discussion on Danny’s overdose and their anticipation about going back to school.

Ruth Imhoff read chapter 4 from Motto of the Hound. Jerry commented that FBI Agent Williams would need to get permission from the local police to do anything on the case. Ruth explained that Agent Williams is the “bad” guy. The group asked Ruth about Blackfan’s strange reaction after the phone conversation with Agent Williams. She explained that Williams uses hypnotic suggestions to influence the behavior of people who may disagree with him. The other question raised by the group was the reason Blackfan was unaware that Simon, who has been his partner of five years, was formerly an FBI agent. Jerry suggested that Blackfan should question Simon more about her that. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays With Story
July 2, 2013

Writer’s quotation . . .
Below is simply a good piece of writing in honor of this week’s 150th Battle of Gettysburg and especially Pickett’s Charge. The Confederate General Pickett led some 12,500 men on an advance over a mile of open ground in the face of cannon fire and small arms at the center of the Union’s forces on Cemetery Ridge, losing nearly half of his force. It was a turning point in the war for the blue. . .
William Faulkner wrote perhaps the most famous account of Pickett’s charge in the American and, especially, the Southern mind in Intruder in the Dust:

“It’s all now you see. Yesterday won’t be over until tomorrow and tomorrow began ten thousand years ago. For every Southern boy fourteen years old, not once but whenever he wants it, there is the instant when it’s still not yet two o’clock on that July afternoon in 1863, the brigades are in position behind the rail fence, the guns are laid and ready in the woods and the furled flags are already loosened to break out and Pickett himself with his long oiled ringlets and his hat in one hand probably and his sword in the other looking up the hill waiting for Longstreet to give the word and it’s all in the balance, it hasn’t happened yet, it hasn’t even begun yet, it not only hasn’t begun yet but there is still time for it not to begin against that position and those circumstances which made more men than Garnett and Kemper and Armistead and Wilcox look grave yet it’s going to begin, we all know that, we have come too far with too much at stake and that moment doesn’t need even a fourteen-year-old boy to think This time. Maybe this time with all this much to lose and all this much to gain: Pennsylvania, Maryland, the world, the golden dome of Washington itself to crown with desperate and unbelievable victory the desperate gamble, the cast made two years ago; or to anyone who ever sailed a skiff under a quilt sail, the moment in 1492 when somebody thought This is it: the absolute edge of no return, to turn back now and make home or sail irrevocably on and either find land or plunge over the world’s roaring rim.”

History buffs: on Wednesday 7/3/13, Breitbart News is broadcasting the reenactment of Gettysburg live online. Pickett’s Charge coverage begins at noon EST.

Tuesday at Barnes & Noble . . .
(Thank you to Andy for the notes)

Amber Boudreau started with chapter 16 of Noble. The cliffhanger was well-received and many people were anxious to find out what would happen next. Pat began to ask questions. Why would people try to kill Moira? Who are they? Why would magic backfire? What is Moira’s goal becoming? Why? Why isn’t Moira asking these questions? Andy wanted to know in what way Moira was incapable of using a sword, since it wasn’t shown, and that Moira only almost died by exhausting herself. There were also many opinions about the sword itself as well as the timeframe in which she used it. Millie was curious about Moira’s grades, which will be clarified next time. Lisa began to feel sorry for Bertram in that he suddenly appeared to be lonely, but still didn’t know if she could be trusted. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail Tuesdays With Story
7/24/2012

Writer’s Quote:
“Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” — E.L. Doctorow

Tuesday at the B & N:
Just a mini-meeting Tuesday at the bookstore. Summer must be infiltrating everyone else’s soul!

Rebecca Rettenmund read chapter 5 of The Cheese Logue, entitled “The Packers.” She says she is in the process of completely rewriting all of her chapters to weave in the personal story better with the essays. Jen liked the description of how businesses are completely dead during a Packer game. Kaitlyn wondered if the parts with Sophie would be cut – yes, they are. Carol suggested changing the fan’s cap from blue to red, because blue suggests Bear’s fan. (actually, thinking later with the two guys – one should have a green cap and one should be yellow). Kat liked how they were described as Blue and Green each time they spoke. And Terry offered the “cheese” caution – the word popped up too many times while describing the Packer gear.

Terry Hoffman read chapter 11 of The Great Tome. Rebecca felt that Ace wasn’t really sorry – it’s just something people say. Kaitlyn liked it, though, because it showed Rachel’s distrust. Jen was a little confused by the daydreaming at the start of the chapter. Carol wanted to see more physical reactions to go with the dialog. Jen thought more physical gestures throughout would create a clearer picture. Kat pointed out that Rachel might wonder what happened after she blacked out. She could have hurt Doug & not remembered it.

Who’s up next . . .

July 31: Fifth Tuesday (more…)

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Tuesdays with Story
WRITER’S MAIL for December 26, 2010
by Clayton Gill

Good Words from Way Back
True ease in writing comes from art, not chance,
As those move easiest who have learn’d to dance.
’T is not enough no harshness gives offence,
The sound must seem an echo to the sense.
–Alexander Pope (1688–1744) in Essay on Criticism

Dear “Happily Embarrassed,”
In recent e-mail to fellow Tuesday with Story members, Alicia Connolly-Lohr announced the publication of her book Lawyer Lincoln In Transit To Freedom: An historical nonfiction novel. It’s now available at Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Lawyer-Lincoln-Transit-Freedom-historical/dp/1453849424/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293407805&sr=1-5), where the listing includes the book’s first enthusiastic review by an admiring relative. Despite Alicia’s blush, any embarrassment is uncalled for.

Alicia is an attorney herself. In the novel’s court room scenes, the young Abraham Lincoln argues a case involving a runaway female slave. Alicia’s real-life experience adds to the blow-by-blow realism of the drama.

Of course, we all know Lincoln as a legendary orator, statesman, and U.S. President. However, in Alicia’s story, we encounter some of Lincoln’s pivotal moral and ethical dilemmas, his charm and gift for persuasion, and his beginnings as one of our nation’s greatest leaders.

Lawyer Lincoln is another TWS success story: Enjoy and review!

Reading Recap: December 21 Meeting
First-and-Third group met at Alicia Ashman Branch Library to review work by Randy Haselow, Greg Spry, Leah Wilbur, John Schneller, and Jerry Peterson. Linda Meyer had prepared to take the place of Justin Schober, but her work did not get full circulation in advance of the meeting and the group ran out of time for its consideration. The group rescheduled review of Linda’s work for future meeting. (more…)

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Writer’s Mail for October 28, 2010
by Pat Edwards

“Me fail english? Thats unpossible.” – Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons

The Pumpkin Challenge
In honor of the upcoming holiday, Webook.com is doing a pumpkin challenge. Your pumpkin can take any form (carved, cursed, animated, giant, murderous, a pie) but it must cause terror in a person or group of people. Real terror. None of that mushy “moderate fear” kind of thing.

Write a scary story in which a pumpkin is the main catalyst for terror. (max 300 words)

The WEbook editorial staff will pick our three favorite submissions and award the authors free entry to PageToFame. Go to http://www.webook.com/project/The-Pumpkin-Challenge for rules and information.

Who’s up Next?
November 2: Amber Boudreau (chapter 16, young adult novel), John Schneller (chapter 2, Final Stronghold), Greg Spry (chapter, Beyond Cloud Nine), Randy Haslow (chapter, Hona and the Dragon), Judith McNeil (???), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 4, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

November 9: Kim Simmons (chapters, City of Winter), Randy Haslow (chapter, Hona and the Dragon), Annie Potter (memoir), Carol Hornung (scene, Sapphire Lodge), and Sariah (???).

November 16: Greg Spry (chapter, Beyond Cloud Nine), Pat Edwards (poems), Chris Maxwell (rewrite, short story), Cathy Riddle (chapter, Beer Crimes), Aaron Boehm (chapter, Hell Cage), and Kim Simmons (chapter, City of Summer).

December 7: Clayton Gill (chapter, Fishing Derby), Justin Schober (chapter 1/part 2, sci-fi novel), Jen Wilcher (chapter), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 5, Thou Shalt Not Murder).

Publishing Lawyer Lincoln
From Alicia Connolly-Lohr
I just self-published my historical fiction novel Lawyer Lincoln In Transit to Freedom on Amazon in the Kindle store. I’m currently working on my Author Central page for Amazon. I have also submitted the book to createspace.com (owned by Amazon but run as a separate business). There it will be available as a publish-on-demand book. Just awaiting the proof. Although TWS in on my acknowledgements page, I want to pass on special thanks all who helped with critiques. Thanks so much.

Need a Character Name?
Why waste precious intellectual energy creating names yourself? This absolutely wonderful site has several random name generators. There’s a pseudonym generator, a fantasy name generator, an elf name generator, a superhero name generator and a lot MORE! My new evil twin name is going to be Savage Acholateezit, courtesy of the evil name generator. Here’s the main site link http://online-generator.com/index.php Don’t miss the “business section,” which includes project names and band names. What kind of music do you think the The Homeless Clouds create? (more…)

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Writer’s Mail for October 20, 2010
by Pat Edwards

“When we read, we start at the beginning and continue until we reach the end. When we write, we start in the middle and fight our way out.” – Vickie Karp

Tuesday, October 19th at the Barnes and Noble
Kim shares a couple short chapters from her novel – Alicia liked it, but she would have liked the dream sequence without italics better. Jerry was bothered by the break between the chapters and suggested making two chapters into one. Pat likes short chapters, but these were really itty-bitty. Greg didn’t care about the chapter on reading lessons, which interrupts two others, the ones Jerry wants to go together. Alicia was confused between the uses of the word goddess and god. It’s hard to follow. Greg also thought one character was a little too boisterous (with an excess of exclamation points). Jerry and Pat thought the dialogue/accent of one character was overdone and hard to read.

Millie shares chapter 21 of her novel, “Life On Hold,” and a synopsis of the story. Pat really enjoyed all of Millie’s imagery, but she was concerned about the use of the MRI in that time period. The table seems to think they would have taken a regular x-ray of her head. Jerry thinks her main character needs to be more firm with her break-up speech. Kim suggests she might be afraid. Greg thought one character went from not being able to talk to being able to drive off in a short amount of time. We don’t miss how the ambulance got there because the story’s from one characters point of view and she’s knocked out for that. Greg thought the chapter ended with a cliffhanger. Jerry had a problem with the Emergency Room doc. He wasn’t out there and doesn’t know who’s connected to whom, so he won’t be able to tell someone their friend has passed away.

About the synopsis…Alicia is bothered that we still don’t know what the main character is facing and why she’s looking back over these years of her life. Why do we even need the older Erin at the beginning of each chapter? Millie tells us she’s reviewing her life and how she’s ended up where she is now. Alicia doesn’t think that’s enough. We’re all wondering what the connection is. (more…)

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