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Tuesdays With Story
WRITER’S MAIL for September 7, 2012

Good Words from Way Back
“Hance found the trail easily, but the Indians had been gone a long time, and it was filled with leaves, dim, and not easy to follow. It ended as nearly all trails do; it branched off to right and left, grew dimmer and slimmer, degenerated to a deer path, petered out to a squirrel track, ran up a tree, and ended in a knot hole.” –from Woodcraft by Nessmuk, Forest and Stream Publishing Co., 1920.

September 4 Meeting: Labor Daze Notwithstanding
The First-and-Third writers met at Barnes & Noble West after the long Labor Day weekend to hear selections from the work of four members.

Rebecca Rettenmund shared Chapter 11 of The Cheese Logue. Millie said this chapter made her hungry for a cheese sandwich. Pat gave Rebecca kudos for trying Limburger and suggested she turn the smell into dialogue at the end of the chapter. Where does the story go from this point? Rebecca told the group one of the upcoming chapters is about animals that eat cheese. John thought it read well, but a few small words could be cut here and there. Bob thought it was very succinct, but noted that the thoughts in italics took him out of the story a bit.

Millie Mader offered a rewrite of Chapter 37 of Life on Hold. Millie told the group she hopes she got the legalities “somewhat correct” in this version. Jerry suggested that Millie’s character wouldn’t have to post bail if there had been a plea bargain. Jerry also noticed that everyone in this chapter is so nice around the table. He wanted to see the main character’s mother fly into a rage. Jen suggested changing the dialogue a bit to reflect the age of one character. Marge, via Jerry, suggested the main character’s injuries wouldn’t be getting that much better in only four days’ time.

Judith McNeil presented the short story “The Man With the Broken Heart.” Rebecca had a problem with the point of view — it confused her. However, Pat found it engaging. Rebecca noted she also became confused when the character, Curly, was introduced. She suggested that Speedy should be referred to by that name instead of another and brought attention to a few missing speech tags.
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