Tuesdays with Story
August 21, 2020

The first word . . .

How to begin a new piece? “Look for a sentence that interests you, a sentence whose possibilities you like because of the potential you see in its wake. I don’t mean a ‘fantastic first sentence’ or one that sounds ‘introductory.’ I don’t mean a sentence that sounds first because it sounds like other first sentences you’ve read. I don’t mean the kind of first sentence teachers sometimes talk about—the one that grabs the reader. The reader doesn’t need grabbing. She needs to feel your interest in the sentence you’ve chosen to make. Nothing more.”

―Verlyn Klinkenborg, Several Short Sentences About Writing

Tuesday evening, oh, so non-political for TWS . . .

Eight gathered on Zoom to critique the work of six of their colleagues, and no one asked are we going to adjourn on time so I can watch the second hour of the Democratic National Convention. Larry lent a casual tone to the evening by every now and then sipping from his glass of wine. Here is some of what was said in the critiques:

— Kashmira Sheth (children’s picture book, Dot and Dash!) . . . Kashmira shared her picture book manuscript with the group. Most like the concept. John suggested changing one part of the ending. Jerry asked about the Pentagon doing five things to prepare Dot for the race. Larry asked what Dash means by “If I lose, I am doomed.” Huckle pointed out that a dash with two dots was also a division sign. Thank you all for your comments.

— Jack Freiburger (3 poems) . . . Grandorf seemed accessible to all, a tone poem in fractured form providing an image, or a hint of an image, of a grandiose personality, storyteller and brewery clerk. Edith Veronica Hertel Von Meuller was written with a surface tone poem readability, but also is deconstructable in its referents. It too seemed accessible and the miasma of mixed geography, disjuncted life and the detritus left by death were sited by readers. Larry gave a very insightful reading of Afternoon at Amys, which is the most ambitious poem of the lot and will probably stand out well with the other poems in the “Catherine” series, which I’ve not sent out to date.

— Huckle Rahr (chapter 22-23, Wolf Healer) . . . Overall the group thought my work had a good pace and enjoyed the chapters. They felt that I missed an opportunity to explore the dual nature of the characters in the zoo. There was also discussion of making more of the car mishap. Having Owen get hurt. Having the wolf healer, Jade, heal a wolf.

— Larry Sommers (chapter 14-18, Dizzy) . . . Jack wanted a more evocative description of how Irma “glides” up the hall, and a stronger response from Collum on Izzy’s question about the first day of high school. Jerry pointed out that people shortening Izzy’s name would call him “Izz,” not “Iz.” Kashmira noticed too many smiles punctuating the action. John thought Izzy’s comment “I’m pleasantly tired” sounded like Larry, not Izzy. There was general agreement that the dialog scenes read pretty well. Thanks, everybody.

— John Schneller (chapter 24, Broken rewrite) . . . Most discussion of chapter 24 centered around the interaction of Kotel with Prince Corgan. Rather than using names or labels to show the old man’s role, Amit suggested centering on the attitudes of Corgan…  “You wouldn’t understand” disrespecting this common kid. We can then let Kotel figure Witomzil out as they move forward. The question of who can hear animals speak was part of an earlier discussion… but with multiple edits, I need to go back and be sure that explanation did not get removed.

— Jerry Peterson (chapters 7, For Want of a Hand) . . . Jack was for adding more jokes about the Poppenbergers and their haul-out business, giving their new enterprise a motto: We will reorder your hoarder. Huckle, Kashmira, and Jack wanted more care in the Doctor Sen/Baheera scene. This Afghani woman, in her culture, has likely never been seen by a male doctor. There has to be great discomfort for her here and Sen has to deal with that.

Who’s up next . . .

September 1

Jack Freiburger (poems)

Jaime Nelson Noven (chapter 2, Outsleep)

Amber Boudreau (chapters, Second Nature)

Larry Sommers (chapters, Dizzy)

Huckle Rahr (chapters, Wolf Healer)

John Schneller (chapter, Broken)

Our editor . . .

This is Jaime Nelson Noven’s last issue. Next month, John Schneller takes on the duties of editor for Writer’s Mail. If you have something you would like Amit to include in the first August issue, please do email it to him.

On jobs and names . . .

Mystery writer Elmore Leonard had a passion for unusual jobs and real names. Leonard’s researcher, Gregg Sutter, talked about that with Madison writer Doug Moe for a recent column Doug wrote for Madison’s independent mystery bookstore, Mystery to Me:

Sutter researched locales and exactly how a wide variety of jobs and crafts were performed. Leonard’s characters – famous for being cool – have often acquired a precise skill set. Which is not to say it is always serious business.

“He met a guy at the opera,” Sutter recalled, speaking of Leonard. “He hated the opera. He had to go with his third wife. But he met a guy and asked the guy what he did. The guy said, ‘I’m a bull semen salesman.'” An Elmore Leonard character in waiting. Sutter’s assignment was finding out how one extracts semen from a bull. There’s a bull semen salesman in the Leonard novel Mr. Paradise.
Leonard loved offbeat names, often borrowing them from real people. Sutter got the author a bronze paperweight with the words, “If the names are not correct, the words will not ring true.” A Washington Post reporter named Neely Tucker profiled Leonard, and in Leonard’s Cuba Libre there’s a character named Neely Tucker.

Raylan? A man sitting next to Leonard at lunch at a book distributor convention in Amarillo, Texas, said, “Hello, Mr. Leonard, my name is Raylan Davis.”

“How would you like to be the star of my next book?” Leonard said.

Raylan Davis became Raylan Givens, a U.S. marshal and the lead character in Pronto.

Chili Palmer—Leonard loved that name—was a real person, a loan collector in Miami. In Leonard’s book Get Shorty, Chili is a small-time loan shark and debt collector in Miami who gets himself in and out of big trouble in Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

Former TWS member update . . .

Meg Matenaer, a former member of our group who published her first novel, Write in Time, late last year, was the honored guest at Thursday night’s Books & Beer gathering, hosted by Valerie Biel Johnson, at the Cercis Brewing Company in Columbus, Wisconsin.

It was the first in-person conclave for this group since March, and it came off very well. About 15 properly distanced people attended, plus more by Zoom. Meg was her usual charming self. It was good to get out and attend a live event again.

—Larry

From Neil Gaiman’s Masterclass . . .

Neil Gaiman’s light brushstrokes method: In your novel, when the character encounters something new/dangerous/important, don’t show the reader all at once what they find. Use light brushstrokes to create an incomplete description. This causes tension. Experiment with how much you can withhold and still have it make sense. Make your reveals slowly.

Writer House Rules: Questions in Publishing . . .

Q: What happened to book sales since COVID hit?

A: People have not stopped buying books. We are comfort shopping (as opposed to panic shopping, the way we buy toilet paper during a pandemic). What we are buying, though, has changed. During the pandemic, sales of children’s and craft books, and practical adult nonfiction (cooking, gardening, etc.) have skyrocketed. We are not buying new books so much as we are buying the backlist bestsellers. While publishers certainly can get a brand-new title on the bestseller list during the pandemic (me and my team did it in the tricky month of May 2020), many have still decided to delay their spring/summer books. More than 800 books were reported to have been rescheduled due to the pandemic (never mind all the ones that weren’t reported).

How we get our books has changed, too. Ebook and audiobook sales went up during the pandemic. For example, ebook sales rose 31% from March to April.

Then there’s the question of where we get our books from. While bookstores have been tremendously innovative and resilient during a time when they are closed for browsing, the numbers still tell us that bookstore sales for the first six months of 2020 are down 32.6%, compared to the first six months of 2019, despite January and February being up 3 to 4%. Meanwhile, Bookshop.org has swooped in to assist with indie book sales, offering a small cut to indie bookstores of your choice. And Amazon is doing just fine. Although initially Amazon was not prioritizing books, now that they have their supply chain worked out, Amazon overall is up 48% in the second quarter of 2020 compared to the second quarter of 2019. By April, Jeff Bezos had added almost $24 billion to his fortune in 2020.

Personally, although I have not been reading more published books (due to lack of commute and increase in not-yet-published books to read for work), I have been purchasing more books in effort to help out my local indie bookstore. How have your book buying habits changed, I wonder?

Have a publishing related question? Email Jamie.

The last word . . .

“Zest. Gusto. How rarely one hears these words used. How rarely do we see people living, or for that matter, creating by them. Yet if I were asked to name the most important items in a writer’s make-up, the things that shape his material and rush him along the road he wants to go, I could only warn him to look to his zest, see to his gusto.”

―Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing