Tuesdays with Story
July 10, 2020
The first word . . .
Billy Wilder’s 10 Screenwriting Tips:
- The audience is fickle.
- Grab ‘em by the throat and never let ‘em go.
- Develop a clean line of action for your leading character.
- Know where you’re going.
- The more subtle and elegant you are in hiding your plot points, the better you are as a writer.
- If you have a problem with the third act, the real problem is in the first act.
- A tip from Lubitsch: Let the audience add up two plus two. They’ll love you forever.
- In doing voice-overs, be careful not to describe what the audience already sees. Add to what they’re seeing.
- The event that occurs at the second act curtain triggers the end of the movie.
- The third act must build, build, build in tempo and action until the last event, and then—that’s it. Don’t hang around.
Tuesday evening on Zoom . . .
Storms prevented John Schneller from using his computer to reach us on Zoom, so he joined us by way of his cellphone. Seven others, though, joined us in the regular way. Here is some of what was said in the critiques:
— John Schneller (chapter 21, Broken rewrite) . . . A few suggestions revolved around clarity within this chapter, including if a wolverine needs to act purely like we expect an animal to act, or if he can convey an attitude that fits best in the story. Sorry Larry, but I think my wolverine is his own man and won’t be told how he should act. Maybe…. Thanks everyone for the input.
— Kashmira Sheth (Gauri chapter, untitled novel) . . . Amit and Kashmira submitted a chapter from their untitled novel. There was a comment about rearranging the first couple of pages to make the flow more natural. Jack pointed out about the voice that felt different than the rest of the book. Larry comments on not knowing how the food tasted. Jaime thought the description made it clear. Thank you all for your comments.
— Jaime Nelson Noven (chapter 1, Outsleep) . . . Consider rewriting the first sentence so that the book doesn’t start on a passive verb. Unclear what kind of place Spring Green is. Rice’s relationship with the urine cart is unclear. It seems like she should be taking it with her. Thanks, everyone!
— Huckle Rahr (chapters 17 rewrite and 18, Wolf Healer) . . . On Tuesday I generally got good reviews about my shortened version of chapter 17. As for chapter 18, there were some concerns about the amount of talk before Jade changes into a panther. Too much talk, not enough movement and action. Her quick exit once she changed was also questioned. Why didn’t she stay longer and check out more of the pack, give them a chance. Once she changes, she should decide to go to Sarah’s place on her own, not take the idea from her mom.
— Amber Boudreau (chapter 23-26, Second Nature) . . . Amber apologized for making everyone read a whopping four chapters of her urban fantasy Second Nature, but it is complete and she appreciates the comments. Jaime wondered about the age of Rusty the dog as he didn’t try to go after Weasel at all. Larry questioned why a yellow lab would be named Rusty in the first place. Jamie wondered why a character would bring up the fact that the banana bread is vegetarian when all banana bread should be vegetarian. Whether it should be made with chocolate chips is another argument. Jerry had a question about the timeline and suggested a glance at a watch as a way to clear it up quickly. Thanks for reading everyone.
Who’s up next . . .
July 21
Amit Trivedi and Kashmira Sheth (chapter, untitled novel)
Larry Sommers (chapters, Dizzy)
Huckle Rahr (chapters, Wolf Healer)
Bob Kralapp (chapter, Capacity)
Mike Austin (???)
Jerry Peterson (chapters 7, For Want of a Hand)
More on July 21 . . .
Huckle Rahr takes over as online host for our meetings on the 21st. We are waving goodbye to Zoom and will now use WebEx. Huckle will send us everything we need to know to sign in.
Our editor . . .
Larry Sommers edits Writer’s Mail this month. If you have something you would like him to include in our next issue, do email it to Larry.
The problem with “Hey Guys” . . .
You’ve had it happen to you. You are in a mixed group in a restaurant—four women and three men—and the waitress comes over with her pad in hand and asks, “Are you guys ready to order?”
The women in the group cringe.
So what should the waitress have said? If you’re talking to a mixed group, how should you address them?
Staff writer Joe Pinsker examined this for The Atlantic magazine. There may be ideas here for you as a writer. Here’s the link so you can read Pinsker’s story: https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-problem-with-hey-guys?utm_source=pocket-newtab
Opportunity for Children’s/Young Adult Novelists
PEN America Invites Applications, Nominations for Phyllis Naylor Grant for Children’s and Young Adult Novelists. It’s a $5,000 grant for a new novel-in-progress by a writer who has already published (trade, not self-published) a children’s/young adult novel that has been warmly received by critics but has not yet attracted a large audience.
Deadline is August 1.
The last word . . .
HOW DOES ONE STRIKE THE BALANCE BETWEEN WITHHOLDING AND VOUCHSAFING INFORMATION? THAT IS THE ESSENTIAL TASK OF THE DRAMATIST. AND THE ABILITY TO DO THAT IS WHAT SEPARATES YOU FROM THE LESSER SPECIES IN THEIR BLUE SUITS.
FIGURE IT OUT.
–David Mamet, from a very entertaining memo to his writing staff on the TV show The Unit.
Tuesdays with Story 
Leave a Reply