Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
July 9, 2019

The first word . . .

“We read five words on the first page of a really good novel and we begin to forget that we are reading printed words on a page; we begin to see images.”
– John Gardner (1933-1982), novelist/essayist/literary critic

They gathered at ye olde bookseller . . .

Ten of our writers clustered around a double table setup at Barnes & Noble Westside, Tuesday evening, critiquing the work of six of their colleagues. Here are some of the comments that were shared:

– Mike Austin (short story, “The Cold”) . . .

– Amber Boudreau (chapters 8-9, Mavis) . . . Tracey wasn’t sure how old a character was. In her head, she had him much older than she thought he was. That would affect what her character thought of the budding romance between him and the protagonist. Bob appreciated the tension built around the necklace. John thought the ending line was good enough to get people to turn the page and keep reading.

– Jack Freiburger (chapters 49-50, A Walk upon the Water) . . . Many more suggestions than usual.  Need to add Dad as the anxious person to stand in for the reader, make clear the Maine calmness in the face of just another sea disaster.  Group liked potted better than baptizing the old lady.

– Bob Kralapp (chapter 8, Capacity) . . . One of the comments was that long stretches of dialog went by without name attributions – that it was easy to lose track of who said what. Another thing about the dialog was that the exchanges happened without some narrative business to balance it out. At least one reader couldn’t figure out where the story was going.

– Larry Sommers (chapter 20, Freedom’s Purchase) . . . Tracey felt, in written comments, I could have done a better job of getting into Maria’s POV at the beginning of the chapter. Jerry suggested reconnecting with my thoughts about Daniel’s B-plot having some parallels with the Biblical Daniel. Someone suggested that Maria might feel, after the baby’s death, that she had not improved her lot from what it would have been in Norway. One or two folks felt there should be ways to make Anders’ instant recognition of Daniel more credible. Jack suggested using the image of Joseph Davis’s top hat to sharpen Daniel’s sarcasm about Davis’ treatment of him. John contributed a couple of good suggestions about the order in which things are stated. Thanks again to all for great critiques.

– Jerry Peterson (three short pieces) . . . Jack wants the yellow dingy, in “A Place by the Lake,” so well patched from leaks and tears that it looks like a duck with the pox. John suggested a different ending for “Afternoon at the Movies,” that Jerry wishes one of his students would become like him, a director of a high school drama program. Tracey would like to see him revisit the book’s cover in the blog post “The Flying Tigers are Still Flying,” pointing out that while the cover suggests the book is a dog, the content of the book suggests otherwise.

Who’s up next . . .

July 16: Cindi Dyke (???); Jack Freiburger (chapters, A Walk upon the Water); Jessica Smith (chapter, Holding the Balance); Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapters, untitled novel); Chris Zoern (chapter, Apostate); Kallie Kravitz (???); and Tracey Gemmell (???).

Our editor . . .

Amber Boudreau is our July editor for Writer’s Mail. If you have writing news, do email it to her for the next issue.

Fifth Tuesday . . .

Only weeks away, yes, July 30. Larry Sommers and his wife will host us at their home on the west side of Madison. Larry says if you want to splash in their pool, come early and bring a swimsuit and a towel.

For all of us, this is a potluck event, so bring some really good food to share.

The writing challenge: Write a story with a deus ex machina ending.

A deus ex machina ending is… a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem is suddenly and abruptly resolved by the inspired and unexpected intervention of some new event, character, ability or object.

Think of the movie Jurassic Park. Several of the characters are running from a dinosaur intent on eating them. They are doomed. Nothing they do can save themselves from becoming dino snacks. And then another dinosaur shows up. It kills and eats the first dinosaur, permitting the humans to escape. An unexpected intervention.

Dramatic? Yes, but not fully believable.

So that’s your assignment for Fifth Tuesday. Write a story with this kind of over-the-top, unbelievable ending. Go for the laughs. Make it funny. And do it in no more than 500 words.

Goings on at Mystery To You . . .

Madison’s independent mystery bookstore celebrated its sixth anniversary last month.

This month—right now, July 2-7—Mystery To You is working with A Room of One’s Own and other independent booksellers, publishers and independent presses to raise money for RAICES (Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services). This organization in Texas provides low-to-no cost legal services to migrants imprisoned at our southern border. The store will give a portion of this week’s sales to RAICES. You can help. Go to Mystery To You on Monroe Street and buy a book.

There’s more news from the store. Owner Joanne Berg has hired Madison native Charlotte Colaluca as the store’s events manager. After Charlotte graduated from Edgewood High School, she studied acting at New York University. She returned to Madison last year. Charlotte is a writer. She’s written several screenplays and is now revising her first novel.

The last word . . .

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.”

– George R.R. Martin (1948- ), novelist/short story writer