Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
May 24, 2019

The gathering

TWS alumnus Shel Ellestad returning made it a dozen writers who clustered around tables at B&N Westside Tuesday evening. They critiqued the works of six of their colleagues. Here are some of the thoughts that were shared:

Chris Zoern (chapter 2, Apostate):

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapters, untitled novel):

Cindi Dyke (chapters 9-10, The Mansion Secrets):  Lots of discussion on unpleasant smells, specifically ‘stench’ and whether or not you can collide with it. Larry said no. Tracey considered her son’s shoes, Cindi considered changing a diaper, and both adamantly agreed the answer is yes.  Obviously, Larry changes his socks but has not changed diapers. Carved pumpkins could have a moldy smell, but Jerry pointed out they wouldn’t have time to get moldy in just 3 days. Mike suggested Wart could wonder if it is the smell of blood. Several agreed that Clifford’s speech pattern needs to reflect his disability. Issues with POV and overuse of filters needs to be addressed. John said he bought into the story line and liked the ending. Thanks to all – I appreciate your feedback.

Jack Freiburger (chapters 43-44, A Walk upon the Water): Fair unanimity that our hero needs to be a bit less sophisticated with his hands and fires need to be built faster. Surprisingly, no [one] seems to have minded the confession scene. Now in the next reading, it all falls apart and comes together very differently.

Mike Austin (short story, Lenny’s Moon): My short story, “Lenny’s Moon,” received many helpful and encouraging comments. John at first thought that Guido needed more to do, but then later changed his mind. Jack suggested an automated pilot so that Guido’s other ship could leave with him. And I should tell what kind of beer they might brew up there. Everyone approved of the setup with the piece of black hole for gravity. Now if I can just sneak it past Neil deGrasse Tyson. Thanks everyone!

Jerry Peterson (short story, “The New High Life Takes a Nose Dive”) . . . Larry said there was an opportunity to ratchet up the comedy if the editorial Mo is reading in the newspaper relates to his situation of losing his farm to the bank. Better, said Jack, if Mo were to read the foreclosures—the sheriff’s sale notices—that someone else has been screwed. The story’s ending also came in for attention, with Mike suggesting that something more has to be made of the money Mo’s stolen than him just saying “it’s Confederate.” Jack came forward with the idea of completing the circle, that Miss Smarts won a biplane in a poker game that she uses in the bank robbery get-away, that she again save Mo when he needs real money to bale himself out of the mess at the hotel restaurant by saying, “Let’s find a poker game.”

Who’s up next

June 4

Lisa McDougal (chapter, The Tebow Family Secret)

Amber Boudreau (chapter, Mavis)

John Schneller (chapter rewrite, Broken)

Jessica Smith (chapter 1, Holding the Balance)

Jack Freiburger (chapters, A Walk upon the Water)

Bob Kralapp (chapter, Capacity)

Larry Sommers (???)

June’s editor

Paul Wagner takes charge of Writer’s Mail next month. So you have 10 days in which to email him any writing news you have that you want included in our first June issue.

Alumni news

Tor Books brought out Patrick Tomlinson’s fifth sci-fi novel, Starship Repo, this week.

Kirkus, in its review, said “A well-drawn ensemble cast of scientists, soldiers, and aliens enriches this quirky first-contact tale.”

And this from Beloit sci-fi author and game creator Matt Forbeck, “Tomlinson’s well-plotted tale of first contact pinballs between hard science-fiction and hilarity, delivering a thrilling yarn that’ll have you both laughing and biting your nails, often at the same time. Most of all, though, it’s damn fun!”

Pat provides this blurb for the book: “Firstname Lastname is a no one with nowhere to go. With a name that is the result of an unfortunate clerical error and destined to be one of the only humans on an alien space station. That is until she sneaks aboard a ship and joins up with a crew of repomen (they are definitely not pirates).

“Now she’s traveling the galaxy ‘recovering’ ships. What could go wrong?”

They said it

About writing. Author and writing coach K.M. Weiland likes to look to other writers for inspiration. In this week’s post on her blog, she shares quotes from 20 writers, including Lemony Snicket who once said “Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.” Here’s the link so you can read the 19 other quotes: https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/quotes-about-writing/