Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
March 22, 2019

 

Once more unto the rectangular tables

 

Ten writers gathered around a real table at B&N Westside when last we met. Here are some of the points that were shared in the critiques:

 

Lisa McDougal (chapter 9 rewrite, The Tebow Family Secret) . . .  Here are the notes I got from yesterday. I don’t remember who all said what so I’ll just say what was said. No inner analysis from Ahna which made it hard to know whose mind we were in. Calling the father “Mr. Tebow” considered to be too formal. The chapter was very talky, so needs something to break it up. More emotion needed. The father needs to come off a bit more ruthless with others if he’s going to be so sweet to Ahna. Also, need to narrow down what drugs Ahna was on.

 

Larry Sommers (experimental blog posts) . . .  Mention of “Low Point” without clarification that it was a small town in Illinois caused confusion. Everybody seemed to think the concept of combining a brief fictional vignette with a longer non-fiction reflection on the same historical material was a viable and interesting concept. BUT, blog posts normally tend to be shorter, and Jerry pointed out that if you don’t post something weekly, folks are not likely to get in the habit of coming back. Tracey suggested finding some way to relate this content more closely to my longer historical fiction, which I’d like to promote. Lisa pointed out that podcasts are becoming the blogs of now. Jack suggested there may be some centralized website that functions as a sort of clearinghouse or reference point for historical-fiction-related blogs. Thanks, everybody, for the helpful comments.

Bob Kralapp (short story, part 5, “Capacity”) . . .  Why is Lennie lying on the ground when the chapter opens? That was Jerry’s question. The follow-up comment was to suggest that Lennie might have “spells” that cause his falling. Tracy mentioned the flowery language used. Another comment was that the interview goes on without attributions, so that the reader loses track of who is speaking.

 

Jack Freiburger (chapters 35-36, A Walk upon the Water) . . .  We hit the mid-point of A Walk Upon the Water and the densest of the dense chapters. Apparently, all readers survived. Larry wants a Clare/Muriel paragraph opened up, which will be done. The two paragraphs after the near drowning/baptism were described as “fearful tenderness” in one comment. What a splendid comment! Chris read through the drowning scene, but then went back and reread it. Lots of joy did that comment bring! If that chapter can be worthy of a second reading, then it works, for all its intensity and insanity. Lisa objected to “as a girl” as sexist language and we discussed that at some length. Surface vs. meaning is the issue. I believe Sean sees Clare as another species, at times, as on the beach, as someone like a minor divinity, glowing with light and walking over the water. The phrase “as a girl” is not “just a girl.”  It’s a statement of anathemata, in Greek, a thing set apart, not a devaluing. But Lisa is right to caution me, in the day of #MeToo. I remain immensely grateful for the readings and comments and the dedication you all have as editors.

 

Jessica Smith (children’s picture book, Go-Go and His Glorious Wings) . . .

 

Tracey Gemmell (chapter 9, Lavender Wine) . . .  The group enjoyed the humor of this chapter, especially Isabella’s interactions. Some felt the hammock scene needed tightening and the insects needed sobering up! John noted some missed opportunities to clarify Cassie’s feelings towards her ex-husband. Thank you for your support—in writing and in my journey to US citizenship!

 

Jerry Peterson (chapter 17, Night Flight) . . . Jack Freiburger pointed out that there can’t be fog in winter when the air temperature is below freezing, but there can be fog over a river. John Schneller spotted another mistake, Rooster having a pain in his groin after a long flight when he has to pee. “The pain would be in his bladder.”

 

 

Who’s up next

 

April 2

Chris Zoern (???)

Kashmira Sheth (???)

John Schneller (chapter, Broken)

Jack Freiburger (chapters, A Walk upon the Water)

Cindi Dyke (chapter, The Mansion Secrets)

Paul Wagner (???)

 

 

Celebrations in order

Wednesday, Tracey Gemmell passed her citizenship exam. And, Sunday, Millie Mader celebrates her 93rd birthday. Be sure to send them your congratulations and birthday wishes, respectively.

 

Who’s New?

 Chris Zoern shares this brief bio:

I was born and raised in a small suburb of Milwaukee.  From as early as I can remember, I wanted to be an inventor. On long car rides, I would drive my family crazy spouting off ideas for cars with rockets on them or planes suspended by large birds. Once I could read books on my own, I would always have my nose caught between pages. Teachers would chastise me for not paying attention, but since it didn’t seem to affect my grades, my parents didn’t care to stop me.

In 2013, I enrolled at UW–Madison pursuing a Mechanical Engineering degree, following my dream of being an inventor. While I found my classes rigorous and engaging, I was always pulled strongest to my creative outlets. I had been writing about my make-believe characters and their adventures since I was little, but it wasn’t until I first shared these precious treasures with an introductory writing workshop class that I realized the magic of seeing how my stories could impact others.

College not only developed my passion for writing, but also for nerd fandom. I remember a bored, snowy night during freshmen year when I was first introduced to the Satan-worshipping cult that was Dungeons and Dragons. I quickly learned how this game was a way to tell a collaborative story with all of my closest friends. Anything I could imagine we got to interact with and explore. Never before was the process of concept to reality so immediate. I was tricking my friends into workshopping for fun. My obsession with this hobby grew my interests in strange areas I never would have seen coming: cartography, history, creation myths, and world-building, to name a few. All of them stemmed from our Saturday night games. Eventually, D&D even gave me the inspiration to write my first novel.

In the spring of 2017, I graduated from university with my engineering degree and a passion for storytelling. Today, whenever I come home for work I have a jumble of ideas bouncing around my head, desperate to find their home. Whether it gets worked on, written down, or played out, it’s always exciting to see what my next invention will be.

 

Fifth Tuesday writing challenge

Our next Fifth Tuesday is April 30. We now have a prompt for the writing challenge: My worst critique ever. It can be real or fiction. Yes, you can make it up. Length: 500 words or less.

Start writing.

 

April’s editor

Larry Sommers continues as editor for March. Email your news to him for the next issue.

 

Conjunction Junction

Remember that from Schoolhouse Rock?

Grammarian Ellen Feld offered some direction on what to do about “or”—that’s a conjunction—in a recent post on the Writing Academy Blog:

Today let’s talk about how to make sure subjects and verbs agree when a word like “or” comes into play.

There can be more to this than meets the eye.

This grammar game begins with a few terms to help you keep the rules in hand.

• The subject is the person, thing, or idea directing the verb.

• The verb is the action (e.g., “catch”) or occurrence (e.g., “happen”) or state (e.g., “seem”).

Subjects and verbs are supposed to agree in number—singular with singular, plural with plural. That means “one girl is” while “five girls are.”

• Conjunctions join words to words, phrases to phrases, and whole thoughts to whole thoughts. And, but, and or are a few examples.

You may not be familiar with the term correlative conjunction. These are joining words that correlate—or match—two equal parts of a sentence to each other. We’ll call them correlatives for short. These conjunctions come in pairs:

• either/or
• neither/nor
• not only/but also
• not/but

With these grammar terms in mind, let’s use them to talk more about subject-verb agreement.

What to Do With Singulars?

The conjunction and works as a plus sign to make a singular subject + a singular subject = a plural subject that needs a plural verb:

Fred and Tom are the names of my hamsters.

Something different happens when we replace the word and with the word or. The verb has to be singular:

Sometimes I can’t remember if Frank or Francis is the name of my sister’s goldfish.

When we join singular subjects with correlatives (remember them?), the subject-verb relationship follows the same rule as when we use the word or:

Neither Patrick nor Jessica is my favorite name for a parakeet.

How About Singulars and Plurals?

Yet something different happens when we use a correlative to join a singular subject and a plural subject. The subject closest to the verb directs the verb. That’s all you need to focus on:

Singular: Not only her three silver knives, but also her one gold fork needs polishing.

Plural: Either his one gold fork or his three silver knives need polishing.

You have the rules of the game in hand, so when you write, go ahead and show your cards.

Now if you’d like to see and sing along with Conjunction Junction, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPoBE-E8VOc