Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
November 23, 2018

At Barnes & Noble Westside

For the second meeting in a row, seven writers gathered in the magic circle. They critiqued the work of seven of their colleagues. Here is some of what was said:

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapter 1, rewrite, untitled novel) . . . Jack would prefer the story open with a wide shot and then had a question about how dark
it was exactly. He also had comments about continuity and breaking up sentences. Jerry thought the story was going to be about the tree. Cindi found the descriptions beautiful, but wondered why they traveled down to the temple and back. Larry and Jack are looking for some symbolic value as they’ve read ahead and know what’s coming. They’re in search of a hook.

Millie Mader (short story, rewrite, Stone Cold Stripper) . . . Larry didn’t really have any new comments, but he thought getting to the end of it might help. Jack agrees that we need a framework. Jerry suggested not having a character’s head spin. Cindi pointed out a few repetitive spots and had a suggestion or two.

Jack Freiburger (chapter 20-21, A Walk upon the Water) . . . Jerry was impressed with the story of the boats dipping their masts to the hill and the character taking his hat off three times but had a question about a sign.

Bob Kralapp (short story, chapter 3, “Capacity”) . . . Cindi thought it was interesting and fun, as did others, but at this point the person who takes notes got distracted and did not take any further interesting notes on Bob’s story.

Larry Sommers (chapter, Izzy) . . . The consensus seemed to be that I now have something about Izzy that seems more like a story, and that the young boy’s voice is more convincing. Several people noted particular words or phrases that a little boy might not use. Amber suggested a couple of potential future plot developments. Jack felt I should have led with the Ishmael joke.  Thanks, everybody, for good, constructive input.

Amber Boudreau (chapter, Avice) . . . Cindi enjoyed the characters, but if the author was shooting for mysterious connections between them, then she might have done too good a job because a few people didn’t know what was going on. Larry thought one character in particular was special.

Who’s up next

December 4

Paul Wagner (???)

Tracey Gemmell (chapters, Lavender Wine)

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapter, rewrite, untitled novel)

Cindi Dyke (chapter, The Mansion Secrets)

John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold)

Jerry Peterson (???)

 

December

Yes, we will meet at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library, not Barnes & Noble. December 4, we will be in the library’s small meeting room.

Larry Sommers is our editor for Writer’s Mail in December.  Now is a good time to send him anything you want included in the first issue.

 

January

Fifth Tuesday, January 29. We have a writing challenge: It’s January in Wisconsin. We’re deep into winter. Where would you rather be? Maximum length for your story, poem, or essay is 500 words.