Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
December 19, 2016
It happened Tuesday evening . . .
A dozen TWS writers gathered at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library two weeks ago for cookies and critiques. Here’s who was up:
Pat Edwards (rough draft, chapter, What to Pack for a Hero’s Journey) – Pat submitted a very rough, transcription based chapter for her non-fiction book. Most of the feedback was that it was too hard to read in the transcription format. Once the purpose was explained, though, many people had good ideas for the book, including using more “real people” stories, references to myths, and deeper explanation of the monomyth (The Hero’s Journey).
Amber Boudreau (chapter 11, The Dragoneer) – John thought the beginning of the chapter (Chapter 11) needed a better hook. Kashmira thought the start of the second paragraph was a better hook. Cindy too felt the beginning was a bit out of order. John thought some stronger word choices would help one character’s dialogue and would like to see Moira pick up a bit more of her training instead of just be told about it. Tracey liked the humanizing elements used to describe the dragon.
John Schneller (chapter 7, Final Stronghold) – The increased action as compared to previous chapters was appreciated. A request for better descriptions of the dragon, especially the unique characteristics, was requested. Using chapters to separate scene changes instead of asterick denoted scene changes was discussed. My desire was to infer concurrent timelines, but I will consider this. A couple snaffoos were noted. A bear should never roar like a lion, and the colloquialism ‘pan out’ was identified.
Eva Mays (chapter 7, Dhuoda) – ack noted that I use the word “I” so often that it is distracting. One of the challenges of writing in the first person, I guess. We shall see if I am up to that challenge. Kashmira pointed out that I needed to make the transition from Lothar’s room to the archive stand out more, because she (and others) weren’t aware the characters had changed locations. John recommended that they stay in Lothar’s room because it adds tension, and I have altered the chapter to reflect this. Now Dhuoda and Vernados hide in a closet when Lothar returns to his rooms early. I KNOW. Tracey said, and Pat agreed, that it would be better for Dhuoda to lose her grip on the horses’s mane, not the pommel. Because what is a pommel, anyway.Jerry suggested that I contract the timeline in the archive, but now they don’t go to the archive at all, so the point is moot
Kashmira Sheth (part 4, I Am From Here, Too) – There were some concerns about one poem where certain meaning was unclear. (I guess I will go over it and make sure that my intentions come through) This was the last part of the story and overall, everyone found the story nearly ready to send out.
Who’s up next . . .
December 20, we return to Alicia Ashman for critiques of Millie Mader’s poems, chapter 2 of Jen Wilcher’s Hogoshiro Chronicles, Hannah Marshall’s poems, a chapter from Cindi Dyke’s North Road, chapters 8-9 from Tracey Gemmell’s Losing It, and part 1 from Jerry Peterson’s short story, “The Mayor & The Guv.”
Turn your brain onto this . . .
We need a prompt, an idea for what to write for our January writing contest. TWS alumnus Pat Tomlinson is our judge. He will select the best of the best and critique the first 50 pages of the winner’s novel or nonfiction book. That winner could be you.
Prompts suggested so far: Winter, New Year’s resolutions gone bad or gone good, and How did that get caught in the snowblower and how do you get it out?
Bring your best ideas to our December 20 meeting.
We also need a place for our January Fifth Tuesday (January 31). Would you be willing to host us at your home, or would you rather we dine out? If so, what restaurant would you suggest?
Here is two extra tidbits from Pat, Christmas is early this year!
Amazon Kindle Indie Publishing
Watch a live stream of our indie author event in Dublin.
Featuring bestselling authors and Amazon experts, this day-long conference in Dublin will be streamed on the KDP YouTube page. Topics under discussion will include “How to Write a Bestseller,” “The Art of Editing,” “Marketing Your Book,” and “The Business of Being an Independent Author.” The conference and stream begin at 9 a.m. (GMT) on November 19th.
AND
http://chrisguillebeau.com/to-write-a-great-story-start-with-a-real-struggle/
When talking about adventures, I often relate the plot outlining of blockbuster movies and video games.
What if the synopsis of a big summer movie was “So and so had to save the world from evil… and then they did?”
We’d think, “That’s it?! How did they save the world … what happened along the way? Did they lose something and have to recover it? How was the hero changed throughout the journey, and what was different at the end of the story?”
Challenge is the essence of adventure, and struggle is the root of any great story.
In fact, sometimes the struggle is the entire story. If the struggle is good enough, we’re willing to overlook anything else. Why did the aliens invade the earth? Who cares—we have to defeat them!
A lot of video games have terrible endings, because game designers understand that endings aren’t the point. You play the game to be engaged and challenged, not just to beat it.
Sometimes you encounter a difficult part of the game or a boss you have to defeat, and then you hear the message: “Sorry, but your princess is in another castle.” What do you think when that happens?
At first you think, This is the 7th time in a row I’ve heard this story! I think these turtles are just messing with me.
But then you decide, OK, it’s not over. Let’s get out there for the eighth time in a row and pursue the mission. Sooner or later, I’ll find the right castle.
And you keep going, because the struggle is worth the effort.
Tuesdays with Story 
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