Writer’s Mail for May 16, 2012
by Jen Wilcher
Greg shares Chapters twenty-six through twenty-eight of Beyond Cloud Nine. We start with the very beginning of chapter twenty-six. Spike wanted to know if the cab speeding away was necessary. Before that she slams the door – Jerry thought it indicated the character was angry when she just got done with a sweet ride. Pat and Jerry liked how the help-desk character saves the day. Pat wonders about the precedent for doing autopsies without cutting into the body. Jerry references CSI: New York. Millie and Pat thought the word posterior got a lot of use. Jerry had the same comment about the word fixated and the gesture of arm crossing.
Greg reads from toward the end of Chapter twenty-seven. There’s some discussion of the third dimension of the computer screen. Andy was bothered by one character’s acceptance of another’s presence on a restricted floor. Spike wondered if it should have been hard to get in? Greg explains that it was.
We finish up with the second scene of chapter twenty-eight. Rebecca pointed out that she thought Greg wrote sentences of all about the same length and it could have flowed better with a comma here or there. Pat has a question about a future chapter – the rest of us plug our ears and try not to listen. Spike, just listening, thought the verbs were too active.
Moving on…Millie shares Chapter thirty-five with the group, reading from near the end. Rebecca noted there was a lot more action in this chapter. She also didn’t think anyone would believe the driver who dumped the gravel. Greg wondered how the state trooper would get back in touch with them if he didn’t take any of her information. Jerry asks if there was nine-one-one at that time. Pat thought one character could slip and fall instead of having a load of gravel fall on him. Andy thought the main character could say things that show she’s excited versus talking about how excited about it. Pam really liked that Millie mentioned Glen Campbell.
Rebecca shares Chapter eight of the Cheese Logue. She admits to having issues with this chapter and plans to take it apart. She informs the group that she’s removing the last chapter and this chapter. Amber asks if this is really what happened. Greg thinks this book is not just about the cheese but about Rebecca’s life as well. Pam thought the raffle added tension because it kept Rebecca busy, but perhaps didn’t need to have so much focus put on it. (more…)