January 17, 2013
By Pat Edwards
“I write because I’m afraid to say some things out loud.” ~Gordon Atkinson
1st and 3rd Notes 1-15-2013 – thanks, Amber!
Nine gather around the tables for the first, first and third, of 2013.
We begin with Clayton’s Chapter Seventeen of Fishing Derby. He reads some last minute edits inspired by Alicia’s comments. Pat likes some of his old sentences better and wonders if Sherriff’s wear Smoky Bear hats in this part of Illinois, where the story is set. Jerry wonders what state police are doing there anyway and if he were outside a gated community wouldn’t they have their own security. We discuss the character’s motivation for a time and wonder how we can make it clear. Millie asks what a glass pack is. Jerry wonders why one kid doesn’t say something earlier about another character getting his name wrong. Rebecca has a question about pacing in the beginning and a comment about rhythm.
Rebecca shares Chapter Seventeen of her Cheese Log(-ue). We’re all fighting about whether to include the UE in Logue or not. Rebecca wonders if the section she reads needs to be cut, but Pat liked it. Opinion in this piece is okay. Clayton had a question about the location of a block of thought. Pat suggests turning it into dialogue. Alicia has trouble grasping the particular meaning of ‘processed’ cheese. Factories only make one type of cheese and why is that bad? The reader needs some clarification here.
Alicia starts us off with Chapter One of Lincoln’s Other War. Clayton thought it was a wonderful opening and asks what the Dakota Sioux called themselves. We discuss how to get around this – perhaps with a map, or in dialogue? Amber wonders if we have to know one character is from Illinois right away. Michelle thinks the conversation between Lincoln and his secretary is effective but there is some switching from formal to more intimate speech that she found jarring. Jerry didn’t want Lincoln sitting in this chapter at all; he wanted him standing and pacing. (more…)