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Posts Tagged ‘Elizabeth Gilbert’

Tuesdays with Story
Writer’s Mail
October 23, 2013

Synonym (noun)- A word used in place of a word you can’t spell.

Notes from 10/22/2013
Katelin read a section from The Battle of Sista. Karen corrected the use of “like” in “it was like the rock…” and suggested using “as though.” Holly and Deb said it was often not clear who was talking to who and suggested providing more atmosphere with description. It wasn’t always clear that the POV character was Cassie. Everyone thought the characters seemed closer to 12 years old than 15, especially when they weren’t scared or concerned about the weird rock and sudden powers, or when dialogue seemed awkward. Ruth, Deb and Holly related to Cassie’s fear of heights and appreciated Rachel helping Cassie. Holly suggested using more clues to define each of the girls differently. Jen and Holly pointed out weak word choices or awkward sentences.

Holly read chapter 3 of Coming Up For Air. Several people suggested deleting the paragraph where Liza is back in the car, because it was confusing and seemed unnecessary. Jen asked for more description of Ty’s body language when she says “mom, you’re scaring me!” Deb thought it was odd that Liza let Ty call and yell at her dad. After Holly explained that was intentional, the description of Ty yelling at her dad seemed too rational and aware on Liza’s part. Make it more obvious that Liza is self-absorbed and not paying attention to Ty. Chris suggested showing examples of how Mike tamed Liza’s “wild ways.” In what way was she wild?

Karen shared instructions for her do-it-yourself pop-up book Where’s Bear’s Stuff? Everyone attempted to follow the instructions and put together the book. The group had fun folding, coloring, cutting, and gluing! The process resulted in many suggestions: provide an index of pages or explanation of contents; separate instructions from content in separate PDFs or different font; make a how-to video; number the steps and use more diagrams; use dotted lines to show where all the folds are; use different kinds of lines for cutting and folding consistently and explain in instructions; bring this back one page at a time so the group can give more thorough feedback. (more…)

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