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Posts Tagged ‘e Chocolaterian Café’

Writer’s Mail
Tuesday, August 12, 2014

One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper patterns at the right moment. – Hart Crane, poet (1899-1932)

Second and Fourth met at Barnes and Noble
Rebecca read from chapter 3 of Lookout. Jack pointed out changes in tense, the use of passive, and lack of consistency with capitalization. Jack thought that his cats wouldn’t show a submissive pose to the other cat like Ang did in the story, because that could cause the strange cat to attack. Karen suggested punctuation edits and using a different tense for the flashbacks. Be consistent – use the same tense for all the memories. Katelin wanted to know what Ang’s purpose is and more of what she is thinking and feeling in the chapter. Why does she want to stay out?

Liam read scenes from chapter 1 of Prisoner of the Gods. Rebecca wondered why the doctors didn’t talk to Scott about what is going on. Katelin suggested rephrasing the line “He didn’t say anything.” Rebecca suggested rephrasing the line “Mike picked up the glasses, putting them back on for him, before cleaning the mess on the bed.” The word “before” was confusing. The group thought Scott’s stuttering was good. Good job showing the long healing process without being boring. Rebecca wanted one of the characters to comment on the racist situation with Kyle at the airport. The lack of setting description fits because the POV character is brain damaged and recovering.

Jack read a poem. Katelin liked the stanza starting with “shallow trenches in the grass.” Liam corrected sew to sow. Katelin suggested deleting “some” in the line “some with buds…” Rebecca wondered if the plants would bud as early as March. (more…)

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