Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays with Story Newsletter

April 4th Meeting

The First Word

“Advice? I don’t have advice. Stop aspiring and start writing.

—Alan Wilson Watts

Nine writers met via Zoom to offer input for the submitted stories and to watch Larry spill his wine. In truth, it was more heard than seen, and free of profanity. Wonderful restraint on Larry’s part.

Submission Summaries

Bob Kralapp, “Delay”

The areas of the story that need work include the ending, which reads as inconclusive. As it stands, there is little evidence to judge how Kathe’s folks will react to the gas station incident Baker must reveal. Likewise, it isn’t clear whether Baker and Kathe are suited for each other, and there needs to be some narrative backfill in order to bring it all together. The nature of the drinking game around the kitchen table should be clarified. Thanks, all, for the helpful comments.

Amit Trivedi, Kashmira Sheth, “If Not for the Partition”

1 There are conflicting emotions expressed by Uma. Need to work them out for clarity of character.

2. First line in Kedar’s chapter can be rewritten for more impact.

3. The action in Uma’s chapter is good. It makes her character more interesting.

Thanks!

Amit

Jack Freiberger, “Jesus Walked into an IHop”

Some did not like the lack of action, too much description, so will do some rewriting or shorten the chapter.  JF

Amber Boudreau, “Second Act”

Amber read from the beginning of chapter 33 of her urban fantasy, Second Act. Amit thought she did a good job of incorporating a lot of characters and giving them lines. Judy questioned the main antagonist as it’s been so long since the reader last heard from that character and wondered if someone closer to the action might not make more sense. Larry thought the chapters moved along, but one paragraph in the middle of a tense scene in particular put him to sleep. Mike thought the characters working the phone lines killed momentum. 

Judy Cummings, (A Real Hero, Chapters 16-17)

Feedback was generally positive. Larry pointed out a historical inaccuracy–no “brainwashing” until after 1950. Jack suggested word cuts. Amber found the biblical jokes funny and thought the scene with Steve and his brother on the river bank was done well. Thanks everyone. 

Mike Austin, “A Private Matter”

The opinion for the most part was that this was more a vignette than a story. The people and surroundings were well written, I was told, but it was unclear exactly where the narrator’s tension and resentment came from. Also, I need to watch my tenses. The vignette’s ending was abrupt and lacked resolution. And “chiaroscuro” is just too fancy of a word for the rest of the narration. But did you know that one of the rats in “The Tale of Despereaux” was named Chiaroscuro? A rat! It wasn’t too fancy for a rat. Thanks everyone.

Jessica Smith (?)

Next meeting, April 18.

Presenters will be:

Suzanne Gillingham

Larry F. Sommers

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi

Mike Austin

Amber Boudreau

Judy Cummings

Fifth Tuesday!

It is not too early to think about Tuesday, May 30, which will be Fifth Tuesday. Are we up for a nice social evening? If so, where? And what might we use as a good writing prompt for our little 500-word efforts?

The Last Word

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” 
― Mark Twain