Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays with Story

Meeting notes from Tuesday (of course), December 7

“Collaborative workshops and writers’ peer groups hadn’t been invented when I was young. They’re a wonderful invention. They put the writer into a community of people all working at the same art, the kind of group musicians and painters and dancers have always had.” 
― Ursula K. Le Guin, Steering the Craft: Exercises and Discussions on Story Writing for the Lone Navigator or the Mutinous Crew

Five writers presented their work at Tuesdays meeting. Here are some of the comments they received.

John Schneller

Precious Daughter

Most found the chapter engaging. Amit appreciated the change in tension when storylines jump from Nia to Kotel. Kashmira thought the dialogue should be given prior to the hawk catching the breeze and exiting. Larry noticed that I like to have minds ‘bounce’ a little too often. Thanks for reading.

Bob Kralapp

“Don’t Take It Personally”

Mike wanted to know if there was anything Kenny and the narrator respected about the coach that would make them feel his betrayal in betting on the game. Or if he was just another authority figure. Amber felt that the story read a lot more streamlined than before. She and several others agreed there should be something more at the end that would bring it around and make it feel more finished.

Kashmira submitted chapters 3-4 of Nina Soni, Best Hostess.

Amber liked the revised chapter three. John had some suggestions for word choices and Larry asked if Kavita would like to get something in return for asking Montu to sit in the back with her. Bob thought Nina was a little cagey with Kavita and would there be any consequences with that. He was also confused about the terms kaka and kaki. Amit and John suggested a couple of ways Nina could interact with Montu alone in the next few chapters. The suggestions were very useful. Thank you all.

Amber Boudreau

The Dragoneer

Amber read from the beginning of Chapter 37 of the sequel to The Dragoneer last night. Right away, John suggested a dialogue change for our dragon, Zephyr, excluding any concern for himself, focusing on his concern for the safety of our protagonist, Moira. Kashmira suggested taking out a heart-pounding sentence seeing as how it wasn’t necessary. Larry suggested the gate to the castle encircles the entire structure and what Moira approaches is the keep, not the castle. Alas, Amber will never know Amit’ thoughts as his power went out before he could express his thoughts.

Larry Sommers

Untitled Memoir, Chapter 1

John suggested the debriefing at the end was anticlimactic and could be eliminated, with only the factual concerns about the Pueblo and the EC121 shootdown folded into the earlier narration. Amber wondered what the deal was with memoirs, so we discussed that a memoir, as opposed to an autobiography, is about “what you have learned after what you have been through.” A general discussion ensued on the projected “e-shaped” structure of my memoir and how this first chapter can set the stage for information from my subsequent life. Thanks, everybody!

Our Presenters for December 21^st :

Amber Boudreau, Dragoneer 2

John Schneller, Precious Daughter

Kashmira Sheth, Nina Soni, Best Hostess

Larry F. Sommers, from Untitled Memoir

There are still two openings, if anyone wants to jump in.

From Lightning Strike, by William Kent Kreuger:

“Sam Winter Moon stood just under six feet tall. His hair was black and he kept it in a crewcut. His eyes were two dark almonds in a face the color of deer hide. When he smiled, which was often, you could see that his teeth were porcelain white.”

My only point in posting that description is that I really like it. It looks simple, so easily and effortlessly written, which we all know, it just ain’t. Yet, it gives a picture of the man. So maybe I’ll just go with the theme of simplicity.

Thomas Jefferson: “The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.”

Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums: “One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.” Cheers everyone. Stay safe out there.