Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays with Story
September, 20, 2021

The first word . . .

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
—Ernest Hemingway

Tuesday evening in person and on Zoom . . .

Presenters:

Amit Trivedi  

1. Jerry felt that it was incomplete. It need closure.
2. Bob and kashmira liked the Passage of time (dusk-night-morning)
3. Jack had quite a few suggestions
4. Mike and Larry thought the portrayal of the old men was realistic.

Thanks!

Kashmira Sheth (chapters 2-3, Nina Soni, Best Hostess) – Kashmira read from chapter two of Nina Soni, Best Hostess. Overall, the comments were positive. Larry liked how these chapters were progressing. Jack suggested tweaking a word to fit Nina’s word-loving personality and Jaimie and Larry had ideas on how to improve some parts of the story. Jerry wondered if Nina’s father going to be a list-maker like her and Amber wanted to know if the story will cover the entire six weeks of her grandmother and cousin’s visit. John pointed out that bouncy goes more with bunnies than flowers. Thank you.

John Schneller (chapter 19, Precious Daughter) – Most found this chapter to be engaging as the story lines are coming together. Nia’s scene was engaging as she is discovered. Jerry identified problems with archery and the number of turning actions. No one liked “improving inconsistency”. There goes my chance to coin a new phrase. Jamie wanted clarity (and concern) between physical injury and breaking of spirit when speculating about Kotel’s friends. Lots of detail edits. Thanks!

Amber Boudreau (chapters, Dragoneer 2) – Amber read from Chapter 31 of the sequel to The Dragoneer. Jamie had a question about Chapter 30 right away. She wondered what was different about Urion’s parentage that didn’t make him an imp. Kashmira wondered what in Moira’s personal history made her worry about how the women might be treated by their townspeople. She was also looking for a little more interiority overall from our main character especially around the song that she sings for the people and how she feels afterward. Mike wanted some news of her friends and if they were even still alive for Moira to rescue. John and Kashmira were interested in reading more of Moira’s internal struggle between just getting her friends out versus saving the women.

Jerry Peterson (chapter 28-29, Night Flight) – Jack suggested deleting chapter 28—“It really isn’t necessary and it’s sure not right for starting Book Three.”—then cutting every tenth word of chapter 29. “The chapter will be better for it,” he said. Most agreed chunks can be cut or condensed, such as the drinking scene at the Mexican cantina. Kashmira and Larry asked for scenes after Sammy comes home from the war in which he entertains others with stories of his battlefield heroics—lies, of course. Kashmira also asked for a scene in which Sammy charms Lottie Wilhite. Larry and Jack said Sammy’s blinding headaches should come after he marries Lottie, not before.

Here’s who’s up on October 5

John Schneller (chapters,  Precious Daughter)

Jaime Nelson Noven (???)

Jack Freiburger (poem)

Larry Sommers (???)

Amber Boudreau (chapters, Dragoneer 2)

Jerry Peterson (chapter 29-30, Night Flight)

Our editor

Jaime Nelson Noven takes on the job of editing Writer’s Mail for October. If you have something you’d like her to include in our next issue, do email it to Jaime.

A writer’s best friend

Said James Michener in his memoir, The World is My Home, “And of course I carry a dictionary, the best available. Sometimes when I have to look up a word, I waste a great deal of time because I start to read the dictionary as if were a novel that makes me eager to see what comes next. The words of English have been endlessly fascinating for me and I would judge that I have mastered not more than a sixth of them. If the total runs to something like 550,000, that would be 92,000, and that figure might be far too high. But my word chase goes on and the interest never flags.”

The Last word…

“If a nation loses its storytellers, it loses its childhood.”
—Peter Handke