Tuesdays with Story
March 8, 2021
The first word . . .
“Good fiction’s job is to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.” ~ David Foster Wallace
From Jerry
A thank you . . .
The second food gift from TWS—a box of premium oranges, apples, and pears—arrived safely on Jerry and Marge Peterson’s front porch. Say both Marge and Jerry, “TWS friends and colleagues, thank you so much for your kindness.”
Tuesday evening on Zoom . . . Six writes shared their works. From picture book to short story to synopsis to couple of chapters from the next best sellers.
— Kashmira Sheth (Go to sleep)
Kashmira submitted her picture book, Go to Sleep. Jerry had comments about the logic of the story and a few suggestions to improve it. Amber also offered a few tweaks. Larry thought that the illustrations were easy to visualize. Thank you.
— Jack Freiburger (Synopsis)
Multiple comments on synopsis needing serious revision and discussion of rewriting firs three chapters into one, as the chapters are very short and publishers ask for a first rather than a sample.
— John Schneller (Chapters 1 and 2, Book 2)
More work needed to orient the reader in the first chapter. This became obvious with many thoughts about where the action started. Word choices also played a deceptive role. Alley indicated a more urban scene. Nia’s motivation needs to come through early enough for the reader to like her. Chapter 2 was more favorably received as the relationship and personalities emerged (again, Nia’s motivation for stealing needs to be revealed). Great suggestions. Quite a bit of work to do!
— Jerry Peterson (Chapters 1-2, Escape to the Conch Republic)
Kashmira and several others identified the biggest problem in chapter 2 that needed to be fixed. “You can’t tip an Uber driver,” Kashmira said. You can, but it has to be cash because you can’t put a tip on the Uber app, on your charge card. Jerry knew none of this because he’s never used Uber. John said Geller and Ange negotiating Ange’s pay by writing numbers—offers and counter offers—in the back of a book Geller has just autographed for Ange is better than any old book signing he’s ever seen.
Jaime Nelson Noven (Chapters 8-9, Outsleep)
We talked about the scene with Zara and Doc Ribbons and whether the reader should believe what Rice thinks is going on or suspect a truth to be revealed later. We also talked about losing sight of the story arch. In particular I liked the idea of adding to the list of things in Rice’s backyard items that are no longer in Rice’s backyard due to the strong winds. Thanks, all!
Larry Sommers (The Fiddle)
More than one reader was confused or misled by the use of “fiddle” as a jargon term for a con game. It was pointed out that the rounding-errors mechanism of this particular fiddle is a bit of a tired cliché. And the main characters, Chuck and Stephanie, are inherently dislikeable—nothing especially redeeming about their evil. And the plot is too simple. Constructive suggestions received included ideas about introducing a circular retribution plot involving Grayson or Morton, officials from the embezzled company. Thanks, everybody.
Who’s up next . . .
On March 17, here’s who will be presenting:
Kashmira Sheth
John Schneller
Jerry Peterson
Amber Boudreau
Bob Kralapp
Mike Austin
Our editor . . .
Amit Trivedi will edit the March issues of Writer’s Mail.
Kashmira requested I plant this.
Kashmira’s Nina Soni, Master of the Garden (Nina Soni series, book 3 Pub date 4/1/2021 Peachtree Publishers) had the first review from Kirkus.
As in previous books in this series, Nina’s sincere and circumspect narratorial voice—and her beautifully illustrated lists and asides—renders this story a delight to read. Sheth expertly weaves details about Nina’s Indian heritage together with her pride in being a Wisconsinite.
Plants aren’t the only things that grow in this book about perseverance, friendship, and personal growth. (Fiction. 8-12)
Scary stuff from Jaime
(Larry told us about the origins of the word nightmare. I looked it up.)
Origin of the Word: Nightmare
Interestingly, the term nightmare (or night mare) and hagridden come from the same belief that some kind of spirit, demon, witch, etc. sits on your chest and suffocates you while you sleep. This sensation can happen as a waking hallucination during sleep paralysis, which neuroscientists describe as the opposite of sleepwalking: your brain is awake, but your body is asleep. Richard Wiseman has pointed out that your beliefs play a role in how your brain interprets this feeling. For example, if you’re religious, you may experience a satanic presence, or if you believe in aliens, you may think you’re abducted. If you didn’t already know this before, you’ll be seeing the night mare or old hag everywhere. Like Fuseli’s painting that has them both! ~Jaime
From Jerry
[What spell would you cast?
We should have a mini writing challenge on this.]
Fifth Tuesday . . .
We have one in March. The consensus of the group is it’s still too early for us to gather for an in-person social evening. June 30 is the next Fifth Tuesday. The group will make a go/no go decision on that when we get closer. The Fifth Tuesday after that—August 31—is a definite go. Larry and Jo have offered to host us in their backyard. Jack said, if his schedule is clear, he also could host the group at his farm.
So back to our March 30 Fifth Tuesday, it’s cancelled. We will not meet on Zoom that evening.
and regarding 5th Tuesday
The last word . . .
“Never, never, never, never give up.” ~Winston Churchill
Tuesdays with Story 
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