Tuesdays with Story
January 22, 2021
The first word . . .
“Don’t go into great detail describing places and things, unless you’re Margaret Atwood and can paint scenes with language. You don’t want descriptions that bring the action, the flow of the story, to a standstill.”
― Elmore Leonard, Elmore Leonard’s 10 Rules of Writing
Tuesday evening on Zoom . . .
Nine TWS writers flocked together to work through the picture books, poems, and chapters of six of their colleagues. Here is some of what was said:
— Kashmira Sheth (2 picture books) . . . For Aria’s adventure Amber and John suggested to use a book with a title about an elephant. Huckle pointed out two words starting with the letter H. For Being a Baby, Jack wanted to have a cadence in the text. Amber said to add people or a dog being in baby’s face all the time. Thank you all.
— Jack Freiburger (2 poems) …Read two poems. Evening Ski and Effigy Mound. Comments suggested they were accessible, once I corrected the typos. I’d spent some time on Kashmira’S Baby story and suggested cadenced reading and discussed the history of Baldwin locomotives with Jerry and suggested that having a lynching without recognizing the history of terrorism against Blacks may be an issue.
— Huckle Rahr (chapters 1-2, Epsilon) …This week’s most people liked the opening of the book, but felt it could be streamlined. There were many notes on how to streamline the two chapters to make them nicer and neater, from word choices to cutting parts out.
— John Schneller (chapter 34, Broken rewrite) …Most felt Kotel’s battle stayed in POV but needed some attention to clarity of the scene, specifically the walls that hemmed in the battle. I need the walls to stay so I will work on painting a clearer picture. Choosing the correct words for the ashes/fire. The plank needs a new name as well as clarifying why this piece of wood was thrown on the fire at the last moment. Important details. Thanks!
— Amber Boudreau (chapters 3-5, Dragoneer, Book 2) …Chapters 3 thru 5 of the sequel to The Dragoneer were well received, but John, Jaime, and Huckleberry had a problem with how much energy it would take and how much time would be needed to burn a troll’s body. Huckleberry was concerned in particular about the smell. Jack suggested it might smell like burning mushrooms and also suggested using perfect combustion as a way to get rid of the body. John thought the lead got buried in Chapter 4 and suggested a stronger opening. Huckleberry was worried about how much time had passed and what happened to the protagonist’s hair during her travel.
— Jerry Peterson (chapters 34, part 1, Night Flight) . . . All agreed it was a fast read, but . . . Jack said a big locomotive, like the one in the chapter, wouldn’t be allowed to go cold because it would take two hours to build up the steam it would need to start rolling. He also suggested the men riding the flat cars be dressed for the cold, that they be puffing away on pipes or smoking cigarettes and telling stories on the trip out of the mountains, a contrast to the horror of the murder/lynching they are about to do. John said the sound of the skunk spraying the dog had to go because it couldn’t be heard from any distance. Amber wondered why Hansen would tell the stationmaster about the plan to steal the train. “The stationmaster could tell the sheriff,” she said.
Who’s up next . . .
On February 2, here’s who will be presenting:
Kashmira Sheth (???)
Jaime Nelson Noven (chapters, Outsleep)
Amit Trivedi (???)
John Schneller (chapter 35, Broken rewrite)
Larry Sommers (chapters, Dizzy on Wry)
Jerry Peterson (chapter 34, part 2, Night Flight)
Huckle Rahr is taking a leave of absence from the group. Her teaching load has jumped significantly this second semester at UW/Whitewater, limiting her time for our group. Huckle will return at the end of the semester.
Our editor . . .
John Schneller will edit our February issues of Writer’s Mail. He would appreciate your news. Email it to him and he’ll include it in the next issue.
The Liar’s Dictionary . . .
We like language. Of course, we do, we’re writers. So here’s a novel written for us.
The story in a nutshell: Well, you have to start with this word, Mountweazel n. the phenomenon of false entries within dictionaries and works of reference. Often used as a safeguard against copyright infringement.
Now to the story. Peter Winceworth, Victorian lexicographer, is toiling away at the letter S for Swansby’s multivolume Encyclopaedic Dictionary. His disaffection compels him to insert unauthorized fictitious entries into the dictionary in an attempt to assert some sense of individual purpose and artistic freedom.
In the present day, Mallory, a young intern employed by the publisher, is tasked with uncovering these mountweazels before the work is digitized. She also has to contend with threatening phone calls from an anonymous caller. Is the change in the definition of marriage really that upsetting? And does the caller really intend for the Swansby’s staff to ‘burn in hell’?
As these two narratives combine, both Winceworth and Mallory discover how they might negotiate the complexities of the often nonsensical, relentless, untrustworthy, hoax-strewn, and undefinable path we call life.
The novel celebrates the rigidity, fragility, absurdity, and joy of language.
Check it out.
Bridget Zinn
YA author, Librarian.
Bridget Zinn was a friend of mine who passed away in 2011 at the age of 33. She was in my critique group for almost ten years. Bridget was trained as a librarian and while attending UW, she worked at the Cooperative Children’s Book Center (CCBC). Bridget’s first novel, Poison (She had a dream about the entire story.) was published by Disney-Hyperion and her second book, Spy Girl was published posthumously in 2020. Check them out if you want fun, funny, and sweet YA stories.
The last word . . .
“I kept always two books in my pocket: one to read, one to write in.” — Robert Louis Stevenson
Tuesdays with Story 
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