Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
December 7, 2018

At Alicia Ashman, the branch library in the small conference room:

 Present on December 4 were Larry Sommers, Millie Mader, Tracey Gemmell, Jack Freiburger, Lisa McDougal, Cindi Dyke, JohnSchneller, Amit Trivedi, and Amber Boudreau.

Tracey Gemmell (chapter 5, Lavender Wine) . . . “Members treated the chapter kindly. Some questioned the use of ‘skew-whiff’ so this may be a more British word. Larry wanted less emphasis on scooters and Jack suggested changing transportation and transformation usage. Cindi likes the expression ‘accidentally fine.’ Isabella is coming across as a star character. It’s recommended I downplay the ‘goodbye’ scene when Cassie leaves the hotel as it almost seems Isabella’s part is over. Some of the banter needs cutting. Thanks for your input. Thanks also to Larry and Lisa for helping with the book cover blurb for More or Less Annie.”

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapters 2-3, untitled novel) . . .  “Summary of comments by group: (1) Pay attention to point of view. (2) Define ‘Indian’ words up front. (3) Kedar needs to be a bit more aware of what is going on in the country. Thanks!  Amit.”

Cindi Dyke (chapter 3, The Mansion Secrets) . . .  “Most of the discussion addressed keeping Clifford’s savant syndrome authentic to an adult with autistic characteristics. The group thought Maggie’s explanation of Clifford’s situation sounded appropriate for someone her age and the daughter of his doctor. John had a suggestion to have the police car’s flashing blue light tie into Michael and Wart’s discussion of the super natural. Great idea for transition. Thanks to all for your feedback.”

John Schneller (chapter 1 rewrite, Broken) . . . “Chapter One of Broken, Book One was presented. We had a useful discussion on when the action starts in the opening page. A nod was given (not unanimous) to a couple lines to set the scene before the action. Watch out for habitual buts and ands when sentences could be split/shortened. A few useful sentence /word changes are needed for clarity. Thanks to all for the input!”

Jack Freiburger (chapters 22-23, A Walk upon the Water) . . . “Need to tighten up the two paragraphs of rowing after crossing the bar due to repetition. Jerry provided a couple dozen grammatical corrections. Group seemed to generally like it. John caught the magical Palomino vision of Lester as Chiron cantering towards the shore with his close reading. I was considering having a more hallucinogenic close, (exhausted kids) but it seems the canter and Lester’s blessing do work. At some time I’ll do a full work out of the Chiron mythic structure aka Kheiron, Cheiron, etc. as healer/teacher.  I’m playing with the mythicreferent structure, but staying true to the basic elements of healing and teaching.”

Larry Sommers (chapters 3-4, Izzy) . . . There was general agreement that Izzy has developed an interesting and authentic voice (although Jerry felt in his critique that Izzy often uses words too adult for a seven-year-old). However, there are questions as to whether this is a story for adults or children, whether the main plot elements introduced so far are enough to sustain a book-length work, and in any case whether there ought not be something deeper motivating Izzy’s quest. Thanks, everybody, for the valuable input.

Who’s up next

December 20

Lisa McDougal (chapter, The Tebow Family Secret)

Bob Kralapp (short story, part 4, “Capacity”)

Paul Wagner (???)

Meg Matenaer (chapter, Write in Time)

Amber Boudreau (chapter, Avice)

Jerry Peterson (???)

Still in December

We will be back at Alicia Ashman on December 20. This time we get the big meeting room, so plan to party. Bring cookies.

Larry Sommers  continues as our editor this month, responsible for the next issue of Writer’s Mail.  Send him some good stuff for that issue.

January

We meet the first Tuesday evening of the month, but not this time. January 1, stay home, but do rejoin us on January 15.

And join us again on January 29. That’s Fifth Tuesday. Tracey Gemmell will host us at her home on a mountain top outside of New Glarus.

Here’s the writing challenge: It’s January in Wisconsin. We’re deep into winter. Where would you rather be? Maximum length for your story, poem, or essay is 500 words.

UW-Madison Writers’ Institute, April 4-7, 2019

The 30th Annual Writers’ Institute is now accepting registrations. Details at https://uwwritersinstitute.wisc.edu