Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays With Story
 June 5, 2018

Eight of us gathered around to read and critique each other’s work last Tuesday.

Jack Freiburger read from A Walk upon the Water. Millie noted a character blew his nose twice and Jack admits the Irish are a sentimental bunch. Deb hopes Jack reads the audio version of the book, but he says he can’t do the accents from Maine. Millie wants to know how old one of the characters is. Larry wonders if there’s going to be a golden fleece and thought it was a good read. Deb thought the pacing was fine but wanted a little more detail about a character’s handkerchief. And Larry congratulated Jack on using a word he had to look up.

Bob Kralapp read from part 1 of his short story Faith. Jack had a question about the first paragraph concerning transition and reactions. He also suggested getting rid of some ‘and’ words. Deb thought it would increase tension. Jerry wanted to know how the driver caught up to the Audi. John thought there was a great tension in the first paragraph that didn’t go anywhere, but Bob said that’s the roller-coaster nature of the character’s life. Talk of resolution ensues. Deb thought he caught the character’s frustrations well, but had some suggestions for dropping a particular word. Jack really likes the word fluttering.

Larry Sommers presented a logline and one-page synopsis of his immigrant saga, now titled Freedom’s Purchase: A Novel of Immigration, Adaptation, and Survival in Civil War America. Jack and Bob both felt that Maria’s gnashing of teeth had to go and that it was unclear why it was important they were “off the beaten track of Norwegian settlement.” Deb suggested that when characters are introduced in the synopsis they need a bit more description to anchor their character in the readers’ minds, and also that the omitted major subplot about the slave Daniel ought to be included in the synopsis. Jerry thought that Anders’ and Maria’s quest for “freedom” ought to be subordinated to the simpler imperative of farming to make a living. Bob and others were confused by the transaction near the end where Maria buys the two brothers’ way out of military service and thereby gets a full-time farmhand. Thanks to everyone for good critiques and suggestions.

Deb Cleveland read from her novel Secret City. Deb tells us her agent suggested she add a note from the author at the beginning which she read. Larry thinks Deb buried the lead. Jack thought it could be shortened by about a quarter or a third. Bob wonders if he’s being dense, but he wonders why Deb has to say her characters are fictional, but Deb doesn’t want to mislead the reader into the story is a memoir when it’s not. Her agent thinks her readers need to know Deb’s connection to the story. John is intrigued. Jerry would edit a word here and there in particular.

John Schneller read from chapter 22 of Final Stronghold. Jerry asks about dragon boots and John explains the main character’s flesh has altered into scales at the end of the previous chapter. Larry had a question about a character’s twisted foot. Deb had a note about ‘one of you’ or ‘both of you’ being the same thing. Larry thought this chapter felt like a turning point for the character in the book. John agreed. Larry commented on the consistency of POV. The reflections of Kotel are a challenge when sections of this saga were submitted over a decade ago.

Jerry Peterson read from his short story, Candy Bomber. The ending made Millie sad. It became clear to Larry why the character asked for tracer rounds. Amber had to ask what a tracer round was. Jack had a question about cameras. Deb wanted to know why the character ditched his rifle. Jerry and Larry agreed the character didn’t want to be responsible for an international incident. Deb thought the dialogue was great and kept the story moving.

Who’s up next:

June 19

Millie Mader (???)

Mike Austin (chapter, backroads)

Larry Sommers (chapter, Freedom’s Purchase

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapters)

Jerry Peterson (shorts stories)

Amber Boudreau (Chapter, Avice)

Tracey Gemmell (chapter)

Other Business

• Amber Boudreau is the editor for this month so send her all your juicy newsletter info.
• July 31^st will be our next Fifth Tuesday and will be at Amit and Patel Trivedi’s home.
• We will not meet the first Tuesday of July, that’s the 3^rd, as it is too close to the holiday

“If you want to write, practice writing. Practice it for hours a day, not to come up with a story you can publish but because you long to learn how to write well, because there is something that you alone can say. Write the story, learn from it, put it away, write another story.” – Ann Patchett, The Getaway Car: A Practical Memoir About Writing and Life