Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
For 09-24-13

Tuesday night at the bookstore…
We got right to work with Holly Bonnicksen-Jones and Chapter 1 of Coming Up For Air. Carol enjoyed the metaphors in the piece, but said to be wary of the many “I”s in first person narration. Kristin wanted to get to the why of the crying sooner. Thought the scene could be condensed a bit. Jen found some repeated words a little too close together, like “chin” twice in a paragraph. Thought a stronger word than “hurt” could be used to describe the sensation of pounding her hands against the steering wheel. Terry said that since it is raining, the police officer would probably react more to his environment, from wearing a slicker to being more anxious about getting answers from her so he could move along. We did like the start of the chapter and want to know what’s coming next!

Katelin Cummins read from Chapter 1 of Battle of Sista, her NaNoWriMo Boot Camp project. Carol liked the characters of the three girls, found it easy to tell them apart, but was a little confused by the world they were living in. What exactly is the underwater city? How does all that work? Terry thought the description of the statue could be used to give Cassie some inspiration/strength. And it seemed odd that teens would be running off to fly kites. That seems to be a younger child’s pursuit. Ruth liked the statue and felt it provided the distinction between the “normal” world and the fantasy setting the story is placed in. Kristin was worried about Cassie – felt like the other girls might actually be planning to harm her!

Carol Hornung read a scene from the Ghost of Heffron College. Katelin wanted to see much more internal conflict with Kyle in dealing with the concept of a relationship with Autumn. Holly felt Kyle’s dialog was a bit too feminine, and Kristin pointed out that the dialog is a mixture of formal and contractions. With young characters like this, keep the language as informal as possible, except when needed to make a point. Jen pointed out some passive language in the scene that needs to be cleaned up. Also, with only two people in the room, most of the speech tags can be taken out. And folks thought the steamy subject matter was well written.

Ruth Imhoff continued with a chapter from Motto of the Hound. Jerry felt that Tasmo would not be tapping the ceiling with the broomstick handle, especially after grabbing it so aggressively. Kristin suggested taking out the “almosts” – go ahead, let it happen! Katelin liked the concealment spell, but also launched a fairly in-depth discussion of how the spell is conjured and just exactly what kind of damage it has the potential to do as it is cast and after it has stood for a while. It’s something you do not want to walk into. Karen thought the handling of the soiled tissues needed to be done a lot more delicately. Lots of good tension in the scene, though. Clearly the characters are stressed.
Gary Osman brought in an untitled short story. Holly really enjoyed the storytelling. Kristin agreed, saying Gary has a wonderful voice. Terry enjoyed the description where the subject of the story is found looming over the main character! She just terrifies him. Holly was a bit confused about the segment with the flies on the boy’s face. Kristin also wanted the story to have a title. Wondered if the story could be called Aunt Jemimah, or whether the brand was copyrighted? Not sure. Also some confusion about the racism and the line “stupid is as stupid does.” Was the child understanding that the other adults in his world were being ignorant and racist or was the grown narrator stepping into the story at that point?

Jerry Peterson wrapped up the evening by discussing his new mystery novel, Rage, and reading a bit of it for us. Rage is available through the usual outlets, including amazon.com. http://www.amazon.com/Rage-AJ-Garrison-Crime-Novels/dp/1483981924/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1380233043&sr=1-1&keywords=jerry+peterson+rage

WHO’S UP NEXT:
October 8, 2013
Holly Bonnicksen-Jones, Coming Up for Air (chapter), Kristin Oakley, God of Mayhem Street (chapter), Deb Kellerman, “Crossing Guard” (short story), Carol Hornung, Ghost of Heffron College (scene).

October 22, 2013
Katelin Cummins, Battle of Sista (chapter).

FIFTH TUESDAY
Don’t forget, the Fifth Tuesday is actually the First Tuesday, November 5th, at Mystery to Me on Monroe Street. The prompt? Take a look at one of our three inspirational pictures and write 250 words – flash fiction, poetry, or a real estate ad (the last one is just begging for one of those!). Contribute a dollar for your chance to win the pool of cash – to be spent at Mystery to Me! Owner Joanne Berg will chose the best entry.

Some interesting articles on poetry
A nice article in the September/October Poets & Writers about Robert Polito who is the new president of the Poetry Foundation, which publishes Poetry Magazine. In it he discusses making poetry more available and understood by the public by starting the following program in K-12 schools.

“The largest thing is that I’d like to shift the conversation about the way poetry is perceived and operates in the culture. I think poetry is generally approached as enhancement and enrichment, and I agree with that. But I think it’s also true that the reading of poetry, in particular close reading, offers vital skills to people that really aren’t available anyplace else. One of the things I’d like to do in Chicago is work with universities that have both teacher-education programs and MFA programs and get them talking to each other, and bring in skilled poet-teachers to work with K-12 teachers to make them more comfortable reading and teaching poetry. And out of that I’d like to create a hybrid program in the Chicago school system. If it’s successful, I’d like to go national.”

Another article in the same issue, addresses Poetry in the Wild
“For ten years, ecological artist and sculptor Ana Flores of Charlestown, Rhode Island, has been bringing ‘Poetry of the Wild’-a series that ‘connects people to landscape by combining poetry, visual art, and nature observation’- to communities across the country and abroad. The project showcases ‘poetry boxes,’ small handmade vessels constructed of recycled materials and installed in locations both public and wild, such as parks, forests, waterfront trails, and libraries. Written, etched, or pasted inside each box is a poem-some original, some classic, from poets both established and emerging; the boxes themselves are designed to ‘reflect the chosen texts within them’ and encourage people to engage with the land around them.”
It seems like she has also constructed some with blank pages for people to write their own poems. Ms. Flores engaged the communities throughout the U.S. and abroad and so engaged professionals, amateurs and children.
I’m passing this along. We might want to do something similar here.