Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays with Story
Newsletter for 6/4/2013

Firstly, Millie read her poem, “Apocalypse to Armageddon” to the group. Lisa noted that four, not six, people died in the Benghazi attack. Alicia said that “apocalypse” and “Armageddon” were very similar words. Pat asked Millie if she really believed her stance – Millie said she did, and Andy agreed. Alicia mentioned the Biblical undertones. Betsy mentioned the ending mentions that people should work on this problem, which was meaningful. Pat praised Millie’s imagery. Ruth said the line “Masses are maimed…” was clunky comparatively to the others; Andy questioned the rhythm of “Voices plead for…” as well. The rhyme of the poem was discussed, and it was agreed that the split rhyme was a good idea, and that rhyme is not passé.

Lisa presented Chapter 2 from The Tebow Family Secret. Betsy felt the story was compelling. Lisa thanked Alicia for mentioning that it felt like Adam was inside the building, and how London versus New York was confusing. Betsy mentioned a few rhythmic issues. Pat enjoyed Lisa’s dialogue and characters, but criticized the use of “concrete jungle” in a dream state. The obviousness of Izzy and Ana being the same person was discussed, and Alicia pointed out that the only reason why another story about 9/11 would come up was because they were related. Jerry mentioned that ten years was a long time for someone to still worry about their missing loved one; Andy mentioned the missing girls found in Ohio was a similar case. Everyone echoed that it was a strong piece, and a question arose: Who was first, Ana or Izzy?

Next was Betsy‘s conceptualization of “Alice’s Book,” which she said was a fictionalization of her mother’s life. She mentioned that she is using her mother’s diary as notes. She asked about the title; “The Locust’s Song” and “Cicada’s Song” were liked, and Andy suggested “The Autobiography of Alice Burke.” The preface was considered strong. The discussion shifted to fact versus fiction – what in this book will be based upon Betsy’s mother, and what will she make up? Pat commented about locust versus cicada, and that cicadas are the most overused insect in poetry and that the two bugs were extremely different but names varied by region. This led into a discussion of setting, with Virginia being the primary location. Alicia asked what the highlight of Alice’s life was, and it was the nervous breakdown caused by her twin brother’s death. It was concluded that Betsy was trying to avoid writing by thinking too much about a title.

Bob read the first half of his short story “What Is Missing.” Lisa and Alicia got a different vibe from when they had read it themselves. Andy, however, got the same tone with the asylum-like vibe. Alicia pointed out that Emily was NOT going to only be there a day, and that the attendant was talking to someone else, which was seen as an extremely confusing detail that many could not relate to. That aside, everyone loved the story, thought it was well-written, and had strong imagery, getting into Emily’s mind, and the first paragraph had so many possibilities. Alicia pressed why it wasn’t in first person, and Bob was aiming for the wider picture. Andy and Lisa liked it in third-person, and Betsy thought that using “I” excessively would be irritating. Bob said that Emily was unable to speak in first-person, and her sense of identity would crumble in telling her own story, since at times she sees herself as the person she used to be.

Presenting Chapter 14 of Noble was Amber. Lisa wondered if she was supposed to like Bertram, and Amber said that was okay. Pat mentioned that he seemed to be a catalyst character and something bad was likely to happen, and it was unclear if he was to be trusted. Amber said that Zephyr does not trust Bertram. The era of the story was discussed, and Amber said present-day, reminding the group that Moira only has magic because Zephyr bit her ankle. Jerry commented that the chapter was well-written, a sentiment echoed by the group.

Alicia presented chapters 7 and 8 of Lincoln‘s Other War. Betsy asked Alicia for her source on the way Lincoln speaks, and Alicia said she had several. Pat complimented Alicia’s previous works for how they gave the reader attachment to characters, but said that this book lacked that, and thus was less powerful. She wished for an empathy point that readers can grab onto, but Alicia said that this was a novella, and was thus shorter and harder to manage. Pat insisted upon her stance, even Nicolay having a personal story. Betsy echoed this.

Jerry closed the show with a charismatic reading from The Last Good Man. Pat loved it and was crying while reading it and wanted the scene to go on longer because it was so good, but understood why it didn’t. Everyone liked it, and wanted to read even more. There were no major criticisms brought forth.

Editor’s note…

PLEASE REMEMBER: Not everyone has Microsoft Word 2007 or later. For the sake of everyone, please upload your files as Rich Text Format (.rtf) when uploading to the Yahoo Group site. Thank you!

Who’s up next . . .

June 11: Andy Pfeiffer (short story, complement to People), Ruth Imhoff (scene, The Motto of the Hound), Ray Woodruff (scene, novel), Carol Hornung (scene, Ghost of Heffron College), and Jen Wilcher and Rebecca Rettenmund (report from Writers Institute).

June 18: Lisa McDougal (special poem), Ruth Imhoff (chapter), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter, The Cheese Logue), Millie Mader (chapter 45, Life on Hold), Andy Pfeiffer (???), Aaron Boehm (film script/part 7, Whole Again), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 16-19, The Last Good Man).

July 2: Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Secret Family), Michelle Nightoak (chapter, memoir), Bob Kralapp (???), Amber Boudreau (chapter 14, Noble), Alicia Connolly Lohr (novella, chapters 9-10, Lincoln’s Other War), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 20-22 and 23-24, The Last Good Man).

Great word . . .

Courtesy of Word Spy Paul McFedries:
smartphone face
n. A drooping jawline and saggy jowls caused by neck muscles that have been shortened from constantly looking down at a smartphone or similar device.

Example Citations:
“A new ailment, characterized by sagging jowls and a drooping jawline, has been dubbed ‘smartphone face.’ It comes from repeatedly bending forward to peer at a hand-held device, doctors say.
– Amber Sutherland, ‘Phone face’ woe, The New York Post, May 17, 2012

“Nefertiti did not have to contend with ‘smartphone face’, the term coined by cosmetic doctors to describe the shortening of the neck muscles and pull on the jowls caused by spending hours looking down at laptops, mobiles and iPads.
– Tanith Carey, Would YOU try the no-knife neck lift to look as good as Helen Mirren?,” The Daily Mail, May 5, 2013

Earliest Citation:
“A ‘smartphone face’, as explained by Dr Mervyn Patterson of the Woodford Medical group, is a new condition caused by spending too much time looking down into your phone. ‘If you sit for hours with your head bent slightly forward, staring at your smartphone or laptop screen, you may shorten the neck muscles and increase the gravitational pull on the jowl area, leading to a drooping jawline.’”– Lutphea Tory, Your smartphone can make your face sag, Priyo News, April 7, 2012

Booked for Murder gets new life . . .

Sara Barnes had scheduled to close Booked for Murder, her independent mystery bookstore out on University Avenue, in April if she could not sell it. But sell it she did, to Joanne Berg. Berg, a retiring UW executive, has renamed the business Mystery to Me and is moving it to 1863 Monroe Street. She’s set the grand opening for June 15.

You can read more about Berg and the new store by clicking on this link to The Isthmus’s June 3 story: http://www.thedailypage.com/isthmus/article.php?article=39894

To keep up with what’s going on at Mystery to Me, pop over to the store’s Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/mysterytomebooks , and click LIKE.

Fiction Contests . . .

From Terry through Carol –

Austin Briggs is hosting a 55-word Flash Fiction contest, with his personal favorite each month earning $55. Other prizes go to his favorite commenter and the most shared story on his site. If you’re looking to give Flash Fiction a try, go here:

http://austinbriggs.com/flash-stories/about-this-contest/

From Alicia through Carol –

The Saturday Evening Post is holding its annual Great American Fiction contest. They are looking for 1,500 to 5,000 words on a subject of any genre in some way relevant to the magazine’s mission: Celebrating America. There is a $10 entry fee and the deadline is July 1st. Check below for further details:
http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/fiction-contest

Selling e-books . . .

Ever a hot subject among writers, YA author and blogger Nathan Bransford puts forward a new idea:

Despite having extensive distribution operations, publishers have long been extremely reluctant to sell books directly to customers. Whether for lack of retail expertise, out of fear of competing with bookstores they need to thrive, or lack of concrete vision, publishers have completely ceded the e-book and e-retailing landscape to Amazon and others. Even Bookish, a site built by three publishers, is oriented around discovery, not e-bookselling.

Why are publishers so scared of selling e-books? Amazon has shown no such compunctions about creating a book-to-customer vertical, adding publisher operations to go along with their extensive retail and e-bookselling behemoth.

Moreover, publishers have one big advantage over Amazon when it comes to e-bookselling: their authors.

Just about every author out there has a website and/or a blog and/or a Twitter presence. Why not incentivize them with higher royalties if they sell direct via a device-agnostic module they can place on their sites?

This would look a lot like the way J.K. Rowling is selling her e-books, via a central site compatible with multiple e-book formats, including Kindle.

Rowling built Pottermore herself, and 99.9% of authors don’t have the resources to do that. But publishers should give these tools to authors, so they can sell e-books directly to their readers.

The e-book landscape right now is built around central vendors, and there will still be appeal in that idea. But there’s no reason publishers can’t turn their authors into a dispersed e-bookselling juggernaut.

Read the entire post here http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2013/05/imagining-post-amazon-world.html

Looking for an editor?

Wendy Ely popped up on Facebook, offering her services to edit your manuscript and mine at a most attractive cost, a dollar a page, double-spaced copy.

Here’s what you get:
A detailed review of your story structure . . . The flow of the story; plot strengths, weaknesses, and inconsistencies; point of view, tone, and voice flow; character development; and dialogue.
Line editing . . . Line by line editing for typos and grammatical errors; page by page revision recommendations when applicable; and phone, email, or online chat time for brainstorming your manuscript.

Says Ely on her Creative Manuscripts website, http://creativemanuscripts.blogspot.com/ , “I started my writing and editing career in January of 2008. Since the start of my career, my passion for the craft has only grown stronger in that time. Not only do I have the drive to perfect my own books but to help other busy authors as well. I have several years of freelance editing experience, have recently attended advanced grammar classes in college, and extensively study the craft of writing. I’m also an award winning, multi-published author. Editing should be a creative and as enjoyable as possible, so my goal is to provide fast, friendly, and efficient service while working with my clients. No author is the same, so I can tailor your editing plan for you.”

Check out her website. If it looks good to you, here’s Ely’s email address so you can contact her, creativemanuscripts@gmail.com . Ask her for a client list so you can check further.