Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays With Story
July 17, 2012

Writer’s Quote:
“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” ~ Tom Clancy

Tuesday at the B & N:
Andy Brown (chapter 1, Lo’s Quarter)
Judith-Wanted to know why everything was in caps? (It was an accident); Jim: Didn’t see a need for the word “passively”; Jen: Didn’t feel there was a need to explain why he was ok with parting with his uncle’s jacket; Pat: Enjoyed the chapter. Like’s Simon. Wanted to know was this a preview of another chapter. Wonders if there is time travel involved. Liked the description of Simon’s reaction to her ripping her dress. Can’t wait to read the next chapter; Alicia and Lisa: Thought it was too cryptic. As didn’t know it was a journal entry; Rebecca: wanted to know why he didn’t take the cell phone part with him; Millie: Wanted to know what the “Kendas” was. (Said this was explained in the prologue). Says it reminded her of “Contact” while Jen and Pat thought it was like “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.”; Lisa: Cut out some of the information about the people at the shop in the beginning; Rebecca agreed; Andy: Says we are supposed to be a little confused; Pam: Suggested he write in “bubbly girly handwriting” that Lo is writing in the journal.

Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 9, The Cheese Logue)
Judith: Liked the one-ups-manship at the end. As did Pat; Pat: Loved the cup stuff, but that the baggy stuff was preachy. Lisa agreed. Pat loves the story as it is. Likes the daily slice of life; Alicia: Wanted more stuff. Likes that it reads like a diary, but still doesn’t get the concept. She understands the use of the diary, but needs to go for essays since these aren’t full stories. Wants to know what she learned from this experience; Rebecca: Explains that Isaiah and the cat have a character arch; Pam: Thought the Dory part didn’t fit; Lisa: Wanted to know why this chapter was important to the book; Alicia and Lisa: Thinks it needs to have a bigger purpose for the reader; Jim: Suggest that she walk away for a moment. Rebecca doesn’t like that idea.

Millie Mader (chapter 36, Life on Hold)
Pat: Wanted to know if it was a Trooper or Ranger? Ranger. Likes that Scott’s condition is kept mysterious; Jen: Points out that she never opens her eyes; Lisa: Thought the nurse knew too much; Pat, Lisa, Jen, and Alicia: thought that Millie didn’t explain the legal parts right. Corrected her on the fact Wisconsin has nothing to do with her being charged in Texas. Explain that the stuff in Wisconsin wouldn’t be that relevant without a court case; Pat: Suggests that she keeps the conversation with what’s happening in the hospital; Lisa: Thinks that we got told the conclusion before the court could make the judgment; Pat and Jen: Don’t believe she would still be in jail; Everyone: Since this is 72 hours later, Penny would be out on bail. In addition, we want to know more about what’s happening with Scott.

Lisa McDougal (chapter 3, Follow the Yellow/Ben and Krista)
Alicia: Wanted to know if he was dating Sydney; Jen: Thought the part about Myke could be shorter; Andy: Wanted to know if he will come back. Likes the story, wants to see them together, but wants more action. More tension between him and Krista. Pam agrees. Likes that nobody thinks Ben and Krista will get together; Judith: Likes the ending. Likes the tension; Rebecca: Wonder’s if he can take a slow gulp. Suggests changing to big gulp or sip; Alicia: Wants some dialogue that includes Ben denying his attraction; Pat: Less liner. Remove the step-by-step stuff. Suggest trying flashbacks. Change the order; Andy: Add something texture to the writing on the walls. Wanted to know why she dug her nails into his arms.

Pam Gabriel (film script, part 3, “Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt”)
Lisa: Explained that she missed the INT changes; Rebecca: Confused about the part with the tarot reading; Pat: Likes Claire ad Jack, but not getting the mom. Wants to know why she doesn’t like Claire: Thinks she needs more to bring out why they don’t like her. Doesn’t get why the mom is that way; Lisa: Wanted to know if mom was actually bipolar; Alicia: Thinks it can be mentioned in dialogue (Later, Pam decided that it would be best if she wasn’t bipolar); Lisa, Alicia and Millie: Doesn’t see how Claire still thinks she sees the future; Pat: She can still think it’s a ghost or apparition so it can still be something about her; Lisa: Wanted to know why the police were there; Andy: Suggested that she have it be panic in the room, which is way Amy breaks her leg; Pat: Suggests that she leaves out the Bipolar stuff and just make mom a mom; Judith: Wanted to know if the other adults were mature. Suggested that she watch the movie “Precious” to get a feel for a bad mother/daughter relationship. Lisa suggested that she reads the screenplay instead.

From 7/10/12 meeting:
The Great Tome – Terry
Rebecca thinks the main character, Rachel, should make more grabs at the Tome when her husband takes it away from her, because she’s desperate. Andrea thinks the scene is better than last time she read it. Rachel seems crazy with delusions of grandeur. She seemed weaker last time and stronger this time. Andrea wants the fireplace to play more of a role throughout the scene. Rebecca suggests that husband wouldn’t try to destroy the book – maybe he would try to get Rachel professional help or medication. Jack points out that these are not sympathetic characters. Rachel’s egotistic. Jack doesn’t see the husband’s grief. The husband seems self-absorbed, not seeing Rachel’s viewpoint, assuming she’s crazy. Jack wants to see the psychological progression of the characters more. Maybe it would be good to see the healthy relationship before all this. Jen suggests starting at Nathan’s or the mother’s death. Maybe we would like the characters more if we saw those scenes. Jack wants to know more about who these people are when they are not nuts. Right now, these people are centered on their own feelings, acting forcefully against each other, not interested in each other. Jen wants to see the good times before hand, not in flashbacks. Rebecca wants to see more humorous things happening with the Tome. The funny things make the characters more likeable and lighten up the piece. Kat says she’s sucked in and the emotions seems real to her. We’re not supposed to like Rachel at this point. It sounds like the Tome is possessing her. Katelin felt the end of this chapter is disturbing. She likes the character Rachel and doesn’t like seeing her getting worse. Jack thinks maybe Rachel wants to control the world because she hasn’t been able to control her life. Rachel’s husband might want to control her. When writing a strong scene, write also what’s behind the scene even if already established. Remind the reader of things already established. Are Rachel’s instincts of what to do with the Tome part of her character or is it the Tome’s influence? Jen wants a reference to main character before the Tome, something to compare to. Rachel can have more introspection about the past. She should have more doubts and say to herself, “this is not what a good person would do.” Have her see that she’s going on a bad path, and have more reluctance. Kat wonders if that might make her less likeable. Liam suggests a give and take with the magic – where is the book’s power coming from?

“Avebus” and “Last Hay” – Jack’s Poems
Overall, everyone liked the poems. Lisa particularly liked the third stanza of Last Hay. The word “light” was missing in Avebus. “Long her” should be “long for her.” Rebecca imagined her hair being hay at the end. Terry liked it. Rebecca asked why it’s “imagined” earth. Jack says the first 6 poems in this set deal with reality. The end poems are not quite reality – memory, hope, future thoughts, etc. Terry thought he could use a stronger verb than “walked” in Last Hay. Andrea stopped at “the shrew’s jungle were cut” – too passive.

The Hogoshiro Chronicles – Jen
Katelin likes that Rin grabbed some food during this serious mission – cute, shows character. Jack comments on word choice in the first page. Footfalls are a noise – use a word having to do with sound. Change “disperse” to something positive. Jack wants more of a village scene – more description of buildings and people. Liam says the town felt empty. Liam points out that it sounds like Rin ate her parents. Rebecca asks why Lady Hibiki got mad when Rin gave compliment to messenger. To make it clear, Jacks suggests “disapproval of the unbusiness-like comment.” Jack says when they come to the general store, they should note the size of the building before noticing the sign. Kat says she couldn’t picture the crow-like people in her head and wants to know more about what they look like. Liam feels “orbs”(referring to eyes) is cliché and it’s not used in normal speech.

The Cheese Logue – Rebecca
Terry points out a place where it says “the cops robbing the cheese shop.” Jack suggests making the locksmith scene only one sentence. Write “we had a break in last night,” not “today.” Jen points out some mismatched verb tenses. Jen likes “good day kiss.” Andrea notices repetition of “my boss” on page two and suggests giving her a name. As it is, the boss is almost not there because she is not described at all. Make her more visible to the reader. Lisa likes Isaiah in this, he’s funny.

Katelin
Lisa was lost and needed to keep re-reading to form these characters and things in her mind. Lisa wished she had some backstory. Rebecca thinks it’s a good explosion of action at first to get the reader interested, and explanation comes later. Rebecca would like to know more about the king, something that he did to tell the reader more about him. Terry notices repetition of “the gorp.” Jen said there’s confusion about one or more bowls, and which bowl. If the character is having mixed feelings, wouldn’t forever pass slow more than quick? Rebecca, Lisa, and Jen thought the gorp was standing inside the containers of Malixa at the beginning. Describe the scientist more. Rebecca thought the command “call someone else” was confusing. What does that mean? Jen assumed it’s a hook that will be explained later on. Andrea says don’t call the gorp a man. It’s confusing because he’s a different race, so not a man. Liam was confused between “Pectitus” and “king” – is this the same person? Terry liked the gorp’s happy dance. Could the rock tell this scene from its perspective? Rebecca said she was confused about the phrase “without physical contact.” “Without being touched” would be simpler. Jen thought it was that the gorps’ connection to the rock is stronger when touching it. Liam thinks “pain bolted from” – should be “pain bolted through.” Kat agrees – pain doesn’t bolt. Maybe spearing, or shooting would be better word choices.

July 24: ? 2nd & 4th
July 31: Fifth Tuesday
August 7: Lisa McDougal (chapter 4, Follow the Yellow/Ben and Krista); Pat Edwards (chapters 5-6, Our Soul); Pam Gabriel (film script, part 4, “Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt”); Judith McNeil (short story part 2, “The Man with the Broken Heart”); Aaron Boehm (film script, part 3, “Stealing from Yourself”);Jerry Peterson (chapter 7-8, Rage); Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 10, The Cheese Logue)
August 21: Spike Pedersen (???); Elisha McCabe (???);Andy Brown (chapter 2, Lo’s Quarter); Amber Boudreau (chapter 11, Noble); Millie Mader (chapter 37, Life on Hold); Aaron Boehm (film script, part 4, “Stealing from Yourself”); Jerry Peterson (chapter 9-11, Rage); Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 10, The Cheese Logue).

Writers Mail editors . . .
Alicia Connolly-Lohr, is our editor this month. In August, it’s Andy Brown. Email editors directly to submit any items you think would be good for the newsletter. Volunteers for September?????????

Panera and Fifth Tuesday . . .
Do you have our next Fifth Tuesday on your schedule? July 31?

Put it on now and make your reservation with Jerry Peterson. Guests are welcome, so tell Jerry who’s coming with you.

First-and-third group hosts. The place is the Panera Bread store at University Avenue and Midvale. We have the meeting room reserved. We will be ordering off the menu, so don’t bring food or beverages. This is not a potluck event.

It will be more than our usual meet, greet, and eat Fifth Tuesday. We will have both a writers’ challenge and an “added value” component.

The writers’ challenge? A wish. Write a short short story, poem, essay or a mighty short film script about a wish made or a wish granted . . . your wish, somebody’s else’s wish, your dog’s wish. You’re the writer. You pick, you write, then polish. And send you mini-masterpiece to Jerry by July 27. Maximum length: 250 words.

The “added value” component? We’ll tell you about that when we get closer to the date.

About Writing . . .
• bestsellers
• common mistakes
• e-book news
• how I write; Daniel Jose Older

On Writing A Best-Seller (Shhh, There’s a Formula)
by Sarah Weinman
from: http://www.npr.org/2012/04/13/150582219/on-writing-a-bestseller-theres-a-formula-shhh

Hit Lit
Cracking The Code Of The Twentieth Century’s Biggest Bestsellers
by James W. Hall
Like many people in the book world, I’ve found it impossible to ignore the phenomenon that is E.L. James’ erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey and its two sequels, which morphed from Twilight fan fiction to word-of-mouth blockbuster. The books aren’t to my taste, to put it tactfully, but I keep reading article after article attempting to explain their appeal. Some of the most popular theories put forward so far: The escapist fantasy is catnip for exhausted working moms. It’s a BDSM-flavored take on the Cinderella fantasy. It’s a dirty book for people who don’t ordinarily read dirty books (or read much at all).
Naturally, I have my own theory: James, like other 21st-century mega-sellers Stieg Larsson and Dan Brown, writes genre fiction that reaches far beyond genre readership, bursting open the doors to what the savvy may find old hat but newbies find intoxicating. But is it possible to find a more substantive explanation for James’ breakout success by looking back at the previous century’s biggest and fastest sellers?
In her excellent overview of American best-sellers, critic Ruth Franklin warned, “No possible generalization can be made regarding the 1,150 books that have appeared in the top 10 of the fiction best-seller list since its inception.” But in his new book, Hit Lit, mystery writer James W. Hall makes a case that the biggest hits from the past hundred years share 12 features.
Almost every one of the best-sellers engaged with the hot-button social issue of its time — race (Gone with the Wind, To Kill a Mockingbird), sex (Valley of the Dolls) or politics (The Hunt for Red October) — expressing, in Hall’s words, “some larger, deep-seated and unresolved conflict in the national consciousness.” Again and again, the books feature fractured families and protagonists who are outsiders. “What’s true for Scarlett [O’Hara] is also true for Allison MacKenzie and Jack Ryan and Mitch McDeere and Professor Robert Langdon,” he writes. And the American Dream (or Dream Deferred or Dream Perverted) looms large as a motif; it is variously exalted or depicted as corrupt (Peyton Place), even nightmarish (The Dead Zone, Jaws). Secret societies abound (The Godfather, The Firm and, of course, The Da Vinci Code), which Hall interprets as speaking to the American “suspicion of institutions, public and private, that might in some way undermine our personal liberties.”
How, then, does Hit Lit work from a predictive standpoint? Hall’s tenet on religion’s prominence certainly bears out with 2011’s chart-topper Heaven Is for Real, pastor Todd Burpo’s purportedly nonfiction account of his 4-year-old son who, during surgery, briefly entered heaven. The Millennium trilogy’s Lisbeth Salander is a classic misfit. Twilight features a secret society par excellence. And Kathryn Stockett’s The Help treads similar social justice and time period territory as To Kill a Mockingbird.
But the success of Fifty Shades of Grey might have caught Hall unawares. He writes, “it’s harder to profitably press the hot button of sex because that button has just about been worn out from overuse.” Wishful thinking perhaps: Remixing Twilight with a frisson of bondage, James reveals (again) that sex always has, and always will, sell.
Grace Metalious, author of Peyton Place, once cracked, “If I’m a lousy writer, then a hell of a lot of people have got lousy taste.” What Metalious and her kin in best-sellerdom really possess, as Hall explains so well in Hit Lit, is the power to connect with readers through their hearts and guts as much as, if not more than, their minds.
Sarah Weinman is news editor for Publishers Marketplace and writes for the Wall Street Journal, The National Post and many other publications. She’s on Twitter at @sarahw.
To read an excerpt of the book go to the article at the web site above in blue text
Common Mistakes Agents, Editors and Publishers See
As much as we hate to think about this, agents, editors, and publishers do evaluate your manuscript in an instant (yes, that quickly in many cases). Listed below, you’ll find the most common first page mistakes that writer’s make:
• No clearly defined protagonist
• Unclear story problem or no conflict
• Immediate flashback
• Too much explanation or back story
• Phones and alarms
• Waking up scenes
• Interior monologue / reflection
• Common crisis moments without unique perspective, hook, or voice
Excerpt: Writers Digest Tutorials http://view.writers-community.com/?j=feb711767d610d7a&m=fe9b15707463077575&ls=fde8157177630275731d767c&l=ff2f1770716d&s=fe9017707d6d057474&jb=ffcf14&ju=fe6e15727761077c7517&et_mid=568597&rid=3089191&r=0

eBooks Now ‘Dominant Single Format’ in Adult Fiction Sales
By Jason Boog on July 18, 2012 3:42 PM
http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/ebooks-are-now-the-dominant-single-format-in-adult-fiction-sales_b54587
Digital books are now “the dominant single format” in the adult fiction category, according to a new BookStats report from the Association of American Publishers. eBooks exploded in the adult fiction category last year, accounting for 30 percent of net publisher sales in 2011–up from 13 percent the year before.
At the same time, net sales revenue from eBooks increased from $869 million in 2010 to $2.074 billion in 2011. That’s 15 percent of net revenues for publishers. AppNewser has more about how these numbers have affected the total US book market.
Here’s more about those eye-popping figures, from the report: “Adult Fiction eBooks revenue for 2011 was $1.27 billion, growing by 117% from $585 million in 2010. This translated to 203 million units, up 238% from 85 million in 2010. Similar to the broader overall Trade sector, the combined print formats also represented the majority of publishers’ revenue in the Adult Fiction category, at $2.84 billion.”

The data was drawn from the AAP’s 300 member publishers. The stats also reflected a dramatic change in the way we buy books.

Check it out:
Reflecting broader national trends in consumer purchasing, revenue from sales through online retail grew 35% from 2010 ($3.72 billion) to $5.04 billion in 2011. This channel, which represented 13% of total publisher net dollars in 2010, grew to 18.5% of the total in 2011 … A notable highlight in BookStats 2012: direct-to-consumer sales by publishers nearly doubled in revenue and topped $1 billion for the first time. In 2011, publishers saw $1.11 billion in direct-to-consumer dollars, growing from $702 million in 2010 – an increase of 58%.

Borges’ Birdman and the roots of story . . .
From short story writer Daniel Jose Older:

This is how I write:
I go and go and go and don’t look back, don’t overthink, make up or skim over troubling details. I fill the prose with characters and situations that are pregnant with possibility for shenanigans later on, but I don’t know how and don’t stop to wonder. And when I realize a change I’ve made will cause ripples all the way back to the beginning, I jot it down in a separate document so that it’s not pestering my imagination and then I keep moving. I don’t argue with characters when they want to run off in other directions; I let them go a bit, maybe we tussle back and forth, but I get veto power, which is to say: the story is Queen, and sometimes the people inside it suffer the consequences.

When the seeds I planted turn out to have grown towards each other, those glowing moments when I realize what’s needed is some last-minute interference from a skillful pianist and it just so happens one of my characters used to play ragtime in a New Orleans bordello, well, that’s when I know all that conjuring I’ve been doing is working. Something organic grows, amidst the back and forth of plot considerations and gathering tension.

Jorge Luis Borges, that most enigmatic of blind Argentine librarian poets, once dreamt of a man who kept his right hand concealed within his jacket (or dreamt with, since he was presumably dreaming in Spanish). He asks the man how he’s been and the man replies, “Not well”, and then reveals that his hand is in fact a bird’s claw. Borges (of course) marvels not at the novelty of a man becoming a bird, but at the literary device implicit within the structure of the dream: “Without knowing it, I had prepared the invention.” The man is turning into a bird, but the seed of that transformation, the first clue to the mystery, the foreshadow, happens in the subtlety of his concealed hand. The shift is gradual: a narrative.

“Dreams ask us something,” Borges says. “And we don’t know the answer; they give us the answer, and we are astonished.” The answer doesn’t fit within our concept of reality – it’s a dream, laden with all those gooey layers of symbolism, but within its own dreamtime logic, it makes sense. “Everything has been prepared.” Dreams, Borges concludes, are the most ancient aesthetic activity; the roots of narrative.

Here’s the writing process brought to life. Our stories ask questions. We puzzle our way to an answer and we are astonished. It makes a certain wild sense within the rules and world we have created, and somehow, it has transformed us, our vision. We can read divinity into it, the guidance of muses or the churning subconscious. Whatever you call it, something clicks into place. It’s delicious and far beyond our ability to fathom; a reminder that no matter how hard we try to rationalize and regulate the process, storytelling takes root in the ancient stirrings of the human mind.

The Last Word –Food for Thought:
“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again.” ~ Oscar Wilde