Tuesdays with Story

Tuesdays with Story
Writer’s Mail
06-12-2012

Quote of the week . . .
“Everybody wants to feel that you’re writing to a certain demographic because that’s good business, but I’ve never done that … I tried to write stories that would interest me. I’d say, what would I like to read? I don’t think you can do your best work if you’re writing for somebody else, because you never know what that somebody else really thinks or wants.” –
STAN LEE, Brandweek, May 2000

“The first paragraph. The last paragraph. That’s where the story is going and how it’s going to end. Or else you’ll go off in a hundred different directions.” – HUNTER S. THOMPSON, The Paris Review, fall 2000

Our next Fifth Tuesday . . .
Oh yes, and it’s coming fast.

First-and-third group will host our next Fifth Tuesday on July 31, so lock the date in on your calendar. The place, though, is not yet set.

This will be more than our usual meet, greet, and eat Fifth Tuesday at which we also share writing challenge stories. We will have an “added value” component. More on this as we get closer to the date.

Tuesday at the B&N . . .
The Cheese Logue ~
Rebecca shared an updated version of chapter two. Terry liked the descriptions given but suggested other words be used for ice shavings – as in, how does ice scraping sound? Also, a reminder on telling vs. showing – if she was going to be late to open the shop the customers would also be late. Please describe agitated, and asked what is the universal question? Jen thought my at the end of the poem ought to be the, and also thought the word replacing was confusing. Andrea questioned why the characters were driving rather than walking; and why they would stop for a pack of gum when they were running late. Also felt the chapter needed a precise direction. The car roared to life yet nobody started the car….

Shadows of Yesterday ~
Jennifer read from chapter five, a chapter written through constant interruptions. All agreed the chapter had a rough start but the scenes with Gunnar were the strongest. Jen felt the beginning paragraph could be broken up as it drags on with a lot of internal dialogue, while Rebecca suggests giving dialogue to show more personality. Jen also thought using the word ‘air’ four times was too repetitive. Rebecca thought the third paragraph could be cut down some, and would like to see some bonding between Gunnar and Brandy – see them enjoying their friendship. Terry would like a better description of the boy haircut and believed Brandy and Gunnar to be Kindred Spirits. Andrea reminded us that each chapter needs to serve a purpose, and the writer needs to show that purpose – so what’s the purpose of the new characters? Andrea also felt Gunnar was too stereotypical, and that a tribe needs to be specified.

Pip Zin ~
Andrea explained the characters and relationships, to those of us who were unfamiliar with the story, before reading. Terry felt the characters had good voices, and good descriptions were used. Rebecca was unsure what the bronze ringlets referred to, and couldn’t picture where the paws were when the cub lay down. Terry thought the voice vanishing should be moved up at least one line. Oh! And, yeah, blueberries are messy.

The Great Tome ~
After reading Terry informed the group she had rearranged some of the chapters therefore some information was no longer relevant where it once was. Rebecca asked who was having the affair and found out there is more than one. Andrea was concerned with the character being sanctimonious, with no guilt, a puppet master with no remorse, and suggested she struggle with the question of – Am I doing the right thing? This struggle of doubt would make her a deeper character. Jen needed clarification regarding the book – who can hear it? How does it communicate? Which then brought Andrea to say she’d like to hear the book hum, and Jennifer then suggested foreshadowing the book/hum. Rebecca stated she didn’t like the main character, she didn’t think she was sympathetic, and would like to know more about the husband. Jen felt the ending was weak.

Who’s Up Next . . .
June 19:
Greg Spry (chapter 32-35, Beyond Cloud Nine 9), Millie Mader (chapter 35 rewrite, Life on Hold), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 9, The Cheese Logue), Aaron Boehm (film script, part 2, “Stealing from Yourself”), Alicia Connolly-Lohr (chapter 2, Lincoln, Black Hawk and the Thirty-Eight Hanged), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 5-6, Rage).

June 26:
Terry (??), Rebecca (ch. ?, The Cheese Logue), Jen (??), Carol (??), Andrea (??).

July 3:
Pat Edwards (chapters 3-4, Our Soul), Pam Gabriel (film script, part 2, “Beyond a Shadow of a Doubt”), Judith McNeil (???), Jennifer Hansen (???), Lisa McDougal (chapter 3, Follow the Yellow/Ben and Krista), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 7-8, Rage)

The Last Word . . .
“Write only of what is important and eternal.” – ANTON CHEKHOV, The Seagull

— jlh