Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
March 10, 2012

“I write what I think you should know; not what you think you know.” -Unknown speaker regarding her writing style

First and Third recap- 3/6/2012
Greg: Beyond Cloud Nine- Chapter 18
• Pat notes the small quote at the beginning of the chapter. To her it moved really fast – she had to slow herself down to critique the piece. What does it look like to move from the third to the fourth dimension? The only part Pat didn’t like concerned X-ray vision. She thought there would be more of energy and waves experience.
• Jerry wants to know how a pilot would handle flying through the shift. Also, Jerry wants to know why one character plays the ditz after showing a real depth of knowledge.
• Rebecca had an aesthetic issue – she wanted to see something unique on the ship in every room.
• Jerry didn’t think the character would be instantly calm at the end after she’s shrieking.
• Greg would like to thank everyone for their critiques in the past, as they helped him make it to the second round of Amazon’s Breakout Novel Contest.
• Greg got a bit of feedback for Goodbye Mars. Pat points out that insect only have 6 legs – not 8. If it had 8, it would be an arachnid. Also Pat wonders if blue eyes would still be around that far in the future.

Liam
• Liam shares some sad news with the group; her grandfather passed away recently. She shares the eulogy she wrote with the group. Pat suggests she reuse some of the imagery as several of us laugh out loud at different parts.
• She also shared photos

Aaron: What Hath God Wrought?-Screenplay
• Rebecca and Lisa found it a little sappy when one character started crying in front of his coworker.
• Pat had a question about electricity and wires.
• Jerry thought it was interesting that the jar tipped over and the fluid ran out, but we never saw the brain.
• Aaron thinks that would make a good visual.
• Amber had a question about the ending.
• It wasn’t clear to Lisa if the one character died or not.
• Jerry suggests that a look is enough to telegraph the question (get it? telegraph?) in film.

Lisa: Tebow Secret Family Recipe-Prologue
• Pat thought the whole section was much tighter than before.
• Liam notices the scene no longer takes place in the airport and agrees that it makes much more sense for it to take place in the cab on the way.
• Jerry doesn’t think the cab can speed through the city if it stays busy, even on a Monday night.
• He also points out an antecedent issue which makes Greg ask if context ever plays a role in determining what the antecedent refers to as it seems to be one of the most violated rules.
• Pat points out some POV problems at the end of the chapter.
• Jerry also noted some confusion in the second part regarding one of the character’s name that could potentially be a problem (Ahna)
• The group also pointed out a potentially plotline problem in the story going forward

Amber: Young Adult Novel (Noble)-Chapter 3
• Lots of great comments that Amber couldn’t remember, but we hope they are rattling around in her head somewhere (LOL)
• Pat points out that a character turns her light off but doesn’t turn it back on again before turning it off once more.
• Jerry liked the idea that the lizard didn’t like sweet things—he should consider it was his idea originally.
• Pat and Lisa wanted there to be some mention of the boy from the last chapter.
• Everyone agreed it could use a better cliffhanger.

Psst…
Thanks to Alicia for passing this info on:
• Brian Jud, works with Createspace that’s owned by Amazon, has a newsletter with a host of information. Please check out the link: http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=azcgfwcab&v=001fHRgY6J0lNMRBvQz1zoMIx3W0jv_epsxOijL22hewxT40onnMpqsejR81ioaxAQhTtm-snpOMQl6SPRW7FX4LcQGnar3SQ0t_mN4zcmEu5M%3D

• Short Story contest: This one is by sponsored by The Writer magazine and Gotham Writer’s Workshop. Entry fee is only $10. Entries are by email and due April 30, 2012. Easy rules: for adult audience no explicit sex, violence; maximum length is 2,000 words, no genre restrictions.
http://www.writermag.com/storycontest

Here’s the rules which also link to FAQ’s.

http://www.writingclasses.com/ContestPages/writer.php

Who’s up next . . .
March 13: Carol Hornung (scene, Sapphire Lodge), Katelin Cummins (???), and Liam Wilbur (chapter, The Fog-Gotten) Terry Hoffman (The Great Tome).
March 20: Liam Wilbur (???, Scott & Rory), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 5, The Cheese Logue), Millie Mader (chapter 33, Life on Hold), Pat Edwards (poems), Judith McNeil (more of “The Waldorf Hysteria”), and Jerry Peterson (chapter 24, Thou Shalt Not Murder).
April 3: Aaron Boehm (???), Greg Spry (chapter 19, Beyond Cloud Nine), Amber Boudreau (chapter 4 rewrite, Noble), Lisa McDougal (Follow the Yellow-Chapter 1), and Clayton Gill (???chapter, Fishing Derby), and Jerry Peterson (chapter1&2, Rage).

In Closing . . .

• If there are any open slots anywhere that someone wants to fill in please let the group know as soon as you possibly can. Personally for me the sooner the better so I can get a chance to read your work.
• On another personal note, I can work anywhere from 80 to 95 hours in a week with limited internet access, but my goal is to post the newsletter by Saturday. However, next weekend I work from 2 o’clock Friday until 9 o’clock Monday morning (no breaks), so the newsletter will likely be late or (if I have the energy) I’ll post it early before work.
• We still need an editor for April…and don’t be shy. I just joined in December and I’m already doing newsletters (LOL!)
• Email me any notes for the newsletter.

Reminder: Spring Ahead this Sunday, the 11th. (Yep, we lose an hour. Sucks for those of us who gotta work.)

Have a great week everyone and enjoy our early spring weather!!!