Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
November 25, 2011
By Pat Edwards

“Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.” – W.J. Cameron

Tuesday at Barnes & Noble
One last visit to Barnes & Noble before the December shopping frenzy leaves us homeless! Good news, though – 2nd and 4th has permission to meet again this year in the upstairs section of Sundance Cinema (thanks, Aaron!). Don’t worry if you see the “section closed” sign at the bottom of the stairs – we’re allowed. Also, by way of thanks, please consider making a purchase from the Cafe. We will meet at Sundance Tuesday, December 13, and Tuesday, December 27.

Liam Wilbur was our first reader, presenting a new opening to Fog-gotten. While the information was vital to the story, most agreed that the original opening worked better, and that each section here would make a great scene/flashback, keeping up the fog appearances. Terry suggested starting with the military injury because the reader would wonder if this strange new place was simply a result of a brain injury. Carol thought a more current comparison to a Disney character should be Princess Jasmine instead of a minor character from one of the older classics. More people would recognize the reference.

Terry Hoffman rewrote a section of The Great Tome. Carol wanted her to create a sharper contrast between the news reporter’s real name and air name. “Linda” is kind of pedestrian in a world full of “Ashleys” and “Lindsays” (oh, and the new person on WKOW is “Amber.”) Jack provided a way for the book to actually work via quantum mechanics and the story of Schrodinger’s Cat, but what he really wants is for Rachel to wonder how the book works within her own knowledge base. Andrea pointed out that Rachel is doing a lot with her hands, but the reader isn’t getting any descriptions of touch. Also, start with the playful – messing with the newscasters, then move into the dark (God’s cruel joke) toward the end of the scene.

Carol Hornung read a reflective scene from Sapphire Lodge. There are a lot of colors in this scene, but not coming from Saffi. Use those colors as a parallel, create the tranquil scene, perhaps even invoke it. Have Saffi explore her own emotions for once, instead of interpreting everyone else’s. What color is her feeling for Finley? Terry liked the contrast between Jessica’s bright bohemian clothing and her dark, somber mood. Holly wanted some other senses, too – we’re loaded with visuals, but need some touch, sounds, smells.
Cole Ruby read a chapter from Champions. Jack and Katelin had many suggestions on how to work in the rituals of the Catholic church into the scene. Given Father Avol’s age, this should be closer to dawn than midnight, as he isn’t likely to be up late. Holly and Jack both thought the philosophy brought into the scene really elevates this story above typical urban fantasies. Andrea thought some of the sentences could be strengthened – too many commas. Jen said not to write that Mark “scolded himself,” but tell us HOW he scolded himself. What did he say?

Readers for Tuesday, December 13th – at SUNDANCE:
Holly Bonnicksen-Jones, Coming Up for Air
Liam Wilbur, The Fog-gotten
Jack Freiburger, (something)
If you’d like to read, let Carol know.

Fifth Tuesday
Fifth Tuesday will be here before you know it! Fun and Frivolity is planned from 7-9pm at Jack Freiburger’s place, Hickory Knoll Farm, 5438 Highway M, Fitchburg. His farm is a bit west of Highway 14 on County M, between Fitchburg and Oregon.
If you need help finding the place, call 212-0804.
Equine-themed stories are still needed! 250 words (one page) and send to Carol at chornung88@aol.com
If you haven’t already let us know you are coming, please do so now so we can have enough chairs set up!

Playwrights on Writing
Here’s a link to a collection of LA Times columns written by a variety of playwrights. Great information – even if you’re not a playwright.
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/arts/la-et-playwrights-sg,0,2098795.storygallery

Do You Suffer From One of These Writing Maladies?
Posted: 21 Nov 2011 07:35 AM PST

(Part II)
The fall season of writing viruses is here. Watch out for these dangerous diseases!
Catching the Rye:
Well you probably first want to have read this book by J.D. Salinger with an immediately catchy voice that kind of spoke to a generation or some nonsense, and after you do that you may be corrupted with that voice in your head for some time if you want to know the truth of the matter. If you really want to think about it it’s already been done and anyway the guy who wrote it didn’t end up wanting to talk to anyone anymore and holed up in a house somewhere so that can’t have been good and you probably want to try and go and write your own voice so you’re not a phony.
Adverb Central:
“What do you mean I can’t use adverbs with dialogue tags?” Lucia asked questioningly.
“Just don’t do it,” Nathan replied testily.
“But why not?” Lucia asked quizzically.

Read the entire article at: http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2011/10/do-you-suffer-from-one-of-these-writing.html

GOODREADS POETRY CONTEST
Want your words to reach 4 million people? Goodreads and the ¡POETRY! group have partnered to host an ongoing poetry contest. Join the ¡POETRY! group to vote each month to pick a winner from among the finalists. You can also submit a poem for consideration. Here is our November winner!

My Mother Demonstrates How To Escape From A Plane Crash
by Collin Kelley (Goodreads Author)

Although she has never flown on an airplane, my mother sits on a low stone wall at the entrance to the cemetery and tells me she wanted to move to New York City and become a flight attendant. I am kneeling in green grass in front of a chest of drawers searching for socks not worn at the heel, the sky above us blue and tufted with motionless clouds.

My mother will die never having her stomach drop, never feel ears popping from the altitude, the heaviness that settles into limbs, the shallow breath that comes with thin re-circulated air, the way a body adapts to unnatural, human flight.

When she was a girl, a flight attendant was one of the most glamorous jobs in the world. The crisp uniform, jaunty hat, kid gloves and matching luggage all reeked of worldliness, something to benevolently hold over the heads of those other girls who spread legs instead of wings, invited high school sweethearts to climb aboard and permanently ground them.

In this place where I will bury her, my mother stands at attention, mended socks on her hands, and demonstrates the drill she learned from a manual: The exit doors at the front and rear of the plane, and with her arms outstretched as if poised to fly, the escape hatch over each wing.