Posts Tagged ‘LA Times’

Writer’s Mail
November 25, 2011
By Pat Edwards

“Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.” – W.J. Cameron

Tuesday at Barnes & Noble
One last visit to Barnes & Noble before the December shopping frenzy leaves us homeless! Good news, though – 2nd and 4th has permission to meet again this year in the upstairs section of Sundance Cinema (thanks, Aaron!). Don’t worry if you see the “section closed” sign at the bottom of the stairs – we’re allowed. Also, by way of thanks, please consider making a purchase from the Cafe. We will meet at Sundance Tuesday, December 13, and Tuesday, December 27.

Liam Wilbur was our first reader, presenting a new opening to Fog-gotten. While the information was vital to the story, most agreed that the original opening worked better, and that each section here would make a great scene/flashback, keeping up the fog appearances. Terry suggested starting with the military injury because the reader would wonder if this strange new place was simply a result of a brain injury. Carol thought a more current comparison to a Disney character should be Princess Jasmine instead of a minor character from one of the older classics. More people would recognize the reference.

Terry Hoffman rewrote a section of The Great Tome. Carol wanted her to create a sharper contrast between the news reporter’s real name and air name. “Linda” is kind of pedestrian in a world full of “Ashleys” and “Lindsays” (oh, and the new person on WKOW is “Amber.”) Jack provided a way for the book to actually work via quantum mechanics and the story of Schrodinger’s Cat, but what he really wants is for Rachel to wonder how the book works within her own knowledge base. Andrea pointed out that Rachel is doing a lot with her hands, but the reader isn’t getting any descriptions of touch. Also, start with the playful – messing with the newscasters, then move into the dark (God’s cruel joke) toward the end of the scene. (more…)

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