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Writer’s Mail for 04-16-13


“I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.”
— Mitch Hedberg

Last Tuesday at the B&N . . .

Two guests joined us – Julie and Mike.

Lisa started us off by sharing part of chapter twelve of Follow the Yellow; the last chapter of this work she plans to share with the group for a while. Andy likes it. He only found some small typos. Pat liked the whole thing except at the very beginning. She thinks there should be some blood stains on one character’s shirt instead of having the character still bleed several hours after an altercation took place. Andy lost track of who was who on the phone later in the chapter. Mike thought the part Lisa read flowed well.

Amber shared chapter eleven of her YA novel Noble. Andy liked it, but the looking for Zephyr went a little fast. The scene could be drawn out to create tension. Pat asked if the rules for magic in this work were following rules of any previous work. Amber admits she’s making it all up as she goes along.

Millie shared Chapter forty-three of Life on Hold. Lisa didn’t get the last line until Millie read it. Pat and Lisa think it would be a good time to kill off the mother, but Millie says she’s not going to do that. Lisa wonders if we will skip ahead in time soon. Andy thought the writing out of one character with a single line was a little abrupt and he thought she could expand that into a mini-scene instead of just a passing detail. Lisa didn’t enjoy the rehashing of a female relationship later in the chapter. Jen pointed out some problems with POV. Jerry wonders if the professor needs a name change.

Andy shared the first chapter from one of three different character’s point of view. Millie didn’t see what one character had done to set another off. Answer: nothing. Pat kind of liked her character, but there were a few too many adverbs. She hopes that Andy lets the character have a voice. Julie thinks the main character here would be more manipulative and cool given her background. Bob suggests a character inventory and knowing what’s going on in the character’s mind and heart. Julie suggests Andy also think about voice and making all three very different. Jerry mentions that if the character has killed someone they would not make it into the FBI. Pat suggests a shadow agency. (more…)

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