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Posts Tagged ‘David Comfort’

Writer’s Mail
March 4, 2014

First and Third Meeting March 4, 2014 at Barnes and Noble

A small group yesterday evening, only eight of us.

Lisa McDougal read from Tebow Family Secret, Chapters 12 and 13. Cindi thought the emotional parts of the chapter were handled very well. Andy wanted to see more facial expressions by Adam and Craig when they first see Ahna. Jerry pointed out the description of Adam and Craig seeing Ahna, would more accurately be phrased that they saw a woman who looks like Izzy. Adam could say, “Excuse me, but you look like my wife, Izzy.” Jerry also felt that Adam and Craig left too “easily” considering Adam’s considerable emotional investment in looking for his wife for ten years. They had been invited to sit at the next table with Ahna and Sadie, so why would they not grab the opportunity and stay. Lisa said that she wanted to do more work on the ending of the chapter. Everyone felt that the chapter moved very well, bringing the forces together for the upcoming climax.

Andy Pfeiffer read a chapter from The Void, Chapters 11and 12. Lisa said that she was confused as to Heather’s role in the story. Also added that if some of the people asking questions of Heather were not reporters, that main character should indicate this. Andy said that Heather was also critical of the media, who got their headlines from the Void. He also indicated that Edward Schwartz is the main character behind the Void. He is trying to control the country by controlling the news that is presented by the media. Jerry mentioned that if Heather was outside of the house, not close to the front, and Bryce was inside the house, he probably would not be able to hear the interaction between Heather and reporters and that Bryce should inform the reader who the reporters are. Most of the group did not totally understand the video game terms, phrases. Andy said that the novel was aimed at a niche audience, mainly people who regularly play video games. Kashmira suggested that Andy put a synopsis of story before chapters to help rest of group better understand what was going on. Cindi said she like the battle of the virus’ even though she is not a gamer.

Cindi Dyke read from North Road. Lisa said that the story cries out to be written in the first person. The group agreed. This way the story would not seem to be from an omniscient narrator but Kath herself. Kashmira suggested having Kath moving around, doing things as she puts her thoughts into first person from the beginning of the chapter. Everyone gave her kudos on amazing metaphors. Lisa suggested that the conversation in the doctor’s office should in some way show that she had been his patient previous to this visit and that they know each other for quite some time. In the scene when the doctor walks Kath to the elevator, Jerry suggested that he reach into the elevator when the door opens, and press the button for her next destination within the hospital. He and Kashmira also suggested that the chapter end with her sister, Paula, ringing the doorbell, as this will start the confrontation that she has been avoiding and be the magnet to pull the reader into the next chapter.

Millie Mader read from Life on Hold, chapter 51. The group thought the chapter moved along very smoothly. Andy said that Mark added more interest as Scott was pretty much out of the picture at the moment. Jerry asked about the date that Scott’s letters stopped. Millie said around Easter, but didn’t know the exact date for Easter in that year. (Andy got it for her). Erin talks about the spring fragrances but Jerry and Kashmira felt she needed a flower that has a very strong scent, like lilacs. In dialogue when Scott mentions the ID bracelet that Erin had given him before he departed for England, Kashmira suggested putting in some sensory descriptions of the bracelet. (more…)

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