Tuesdays with Story
March 21, 2023
The first word . . .
“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” – Terry Pratchett
Tuesday evening on Zoom . . . seven TWS writers gathered together to critique the chapters and children’s book story of 5 of their colleagues with the group. Here is some of what was said:
— Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapters 11-12, If Not For the Partition) . . . 1 Kedar’s chapter is well done and moves fast. In one place the POV needs tweaking. 2 Uma’s chapter needs more action and intrigue. 3 Also her reflection could use a little relevance to her present situation.
— Suzanne Gillingham (chapters 3&4 rewrite, Kaleidoscope) . . . There was agreement that Brandon mentioning a gay bar was still too much and that there were way too many eye rolls. I agree. I’m rolling my eyes at myself. LOL. Judy thought my writing was more fluid, Larry agreed. Mike asked about the characters’ ages. Amber thought Carey seemed very self-aware and asked why he hadn’t seeked out professional help. Various editing and stylistic suggestions were made.
— Amber Boudreau (chapters 31-32, Second Act). . . Judy made a good point about the food. The desserts in the restaurant scene are described, but when two of the characters go grocery shopping, none of what they got is mentioned by name. What does a werewolf pick up for company? Larry noted a missing comma in the first sentence (Don’t trust me when it comes to commas. You’ve been warned) otherwise he enjoyed the chapters as much as he usually does. Mike found a few places where the narrator’s voice came through instead of the character’s POV. She has since been let go by the management.
— Larry F. Sommers (chapters 5-5, Pt. II , Blood Mercy with some comments on previous) . . . Stranded in Chicago away from my notes, but I do remember Judy was concerned about narrator’s voice creeping into Jag’s thoughts. Will review my notes when I get home and refresh my memory. Thanks, everybody.
— Kashmira Sheth (picture book, Mama, Are You Coming?) . . . 1 Writing is vivid. 2 The pup story could be expanded. 3 There is a good potential for illustrations.
Who’s up next . . .
On March 21st , here’s who will be presenting:
Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapters, INFTP)
Mike Austin (short story, A Private Matter)
Amber Boudreau (chapters, Second Act)
Jessica Smith (picture book, RJ The Wobbly)
Judy Cummings (chapters, A Real Hero)
Jack Freiburger (chapters?)
Bob Kralapp (short story (cont), Delay)
Our editor . . .
Mike Austin will edit the newsletter for April. If you would like something included in Writer’s Mail, please send it to him for the next issue. He would appreciate your news. Email it to him and he’ll include it in the next issue.
The Wisconsin Writers Association’s prestigious Jade Ring Writing contest is open for submissions from now through June 2. This is a chance for something good you’ve been saving for a special occasion to maybe win a prize. Eligibility, Rules, Prizes, and other particulars are at https://wiwrite.org/Jade-Ring-2023.
Blog Post. . .
Here’s an interesting blog post from Sherrill Joseph on what it’s like to be a Synesthete.
The last word . . .
“I don’t wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.” – Pearl S. Buck
Tuesdays with Story 
Leave a Reply