Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
May 18, 2018

We came out …

Ten TWS writers met Tuesday night to consider six pieces of work.

Mike Austin (prologue, Backroads)

Larry Sommers (chapters 8-9, The Boat Builder’s Daughter)

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapter 21)

Meg Matenaer (Chapter 1, Write in Time)

Kashima Sheth (Middle grade mystery, first ten pages)

Amber Boudreau (chapter 1, rewrite, Avice)

 Amber read from Chapter One of her new fantasy novel based on a previous work. Larry felt there were three plot points that got lost in the ordinary of everyday tasks. A few people wouldn’t have known it was fantasy if Amber hadn’t mentioned the genre as there is nothing in the first chapter to indicate it as such. Kashmira recommended taking all of this advice and holding onto it until the novel is finished and then rewriting it after.

Larry: Although there was general agreement that the voice and flow of the narration is good, Tracey felt that Anders’ marriage to Maria comes about too abruptly—not well set up in terms of their relationship to that time. There needs to be a clearer sense of what happens in Anders’ head to change his mind and make him amenable to Maria. Also, in the scene with the water buckets, the transition from the first bucket to the second bucket is too swift—Maria would not have had time to go back for the second bucket. Possible solution per John:  Maria gets two buckets to start with. Also, the title, The Boat Builder’s Daughter, leads one to expect something more like a romance novel.  Need a better title.Thanks, everybody.

Kashmira and Amit submitted chapter 21 of their novel. Overall, the impression was that more information was needed about the game Uma played with her students. John wanted more description of the refugee camp. Tracey felt that Uma should have to wait longer to connect with someone from Karachi.

Kashmira submitted chapters1-2 of her mid-grade novel. The group felt that the first person writing was more immediate. There were a lot of questions raised in these pages that needed to be answered in subsequent chapters. Bob liked that the sculpture belonged to Surya’s father. Larry suggested using English words when possible, like sash for upvastra.

Mike: The prologue, “Impression,” received mostly favorable and helpful comments. Kashmira pointed out that the engineer and fireman should have soot on them. How could I have forgotten the soot?!?! Thank to everyone!

Critique submissions from 5/1/18

Amit:

1. ‘Chapter one’ could be weaved in as flashback like other memories have been done.
2. ‘Kund’ could be expanded to encompass healing in a larger frame – i.e.   partition.

Millie: Poem: I received a dismal critique from Jack and a very nice one from Larry.

Up Next:

June 5

Paul Wagner (short story, part ???, “Mad Jack”)

Bob Kralapp (???)

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapters)

John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold)

Jack Frieburger (chapters, A Walk upon the Water)

Deb Cleveland (chapter)

Jerry Peterson (short story, “Candy Run”)

 

June 19

Millie Mader (???)

Larry Sommers (chapter, untitled novel)

Kashmira Sheth and Amit Trivedi (chapters)

Amber Boudreau (chapter, Avice)

Tracey Gemmell (chapter)

Mike Austin (chapter, Backroads)

Meg Matenaer (Chapter)

Our editor

John Schneller holds the office for May. Email him your good stuff.

Amber Boudreau takes the June shift.

REMINDER: EDITORS AIM TO GET THE NEWSLETTER OUT ON THE FRIDAY FOLLOWING THE MEETING. PLEASE GET YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS IN BY THURSDAY. THANK YOU!

Fifth Tuesday – May 29, 2018

 Place: Larry Sommers’ home, 438 Hilltop Drive, Madison

Writing challenge: Telephone stories. Telephone, that thing with a cord attached to it, not a cell phone. Even better if a telephone booth were a part of the story, but that’s only a thought. Any old telephone will do. 500-word max

What to bring: Message from Larry: “We will provide some kind of a main-ish dish and probably a salad. We have a few odd kinds of soda pop, but if people have favorites they should bring their own. We can have a six-pack of beer on hand and open a bottle or two of wine. There again, people should feel free to bring some to share if they wish. We have all the paper plates, cups, plastic cutlery, and napkins we could wish for.”

Who’s coming? Of members present Tuesday night, Amber, Millie, John, Mike are definite. Jerry and Marge, Jack, Deb, and Bob, possible. Amit, Paul, Kashmira, Tracey, Lisa, Meg, unable to attend. Others, please let Larry know if you’ll be attending.