Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
December 8, 2017

Tuesday evening at the library  

Yes, we were at the Alicia Ashman Branch Library where we again will be on December 19. Ten of us gathered around a real double-table setup. Here’s some of what was said in the critiques:

Millie Mader (short story, rewrite 3, “Stone Cold Stripper): Most of the comments were quite critical, and I’m going to try for another big time rewrite. It’s my first attempt at a short story—except from a hundred years ago at school.

Tracey Gemmell (synopsis rewrite, book blurb, and tag lines, More or Less Annie): It seems there’s been great improvement over the first attempt. Tracey’s humor and writing style now come through in the synopsis. The book blurb is stronger and more entertaining. Minimal editing suggested. Tagline option #3 (“Hold my Pina colada”) was the clear winner with the group. Many thanks for your help.

John Schneller (chapter 17, Final Stronghold): Simplify action, add speech attributions, and modify some word choices. These suggestions along with a discussion of clarity on internal dialogue were the focal points of the Final Stronghold critiques. The need to be consistent trumps the challenge to distinguish internal thoughts from mindspeak.  A bit of work to do on the chapter.

Amit Trivedi (chapters 10-13, untitled novel): Need to look at point of view as it is not consistent. Uma’s reaction to her mother’s death in not normal for a 6-year-old. Also her not being aware of the partition problems when she is older seems a bit unreal.

Jack revised some parts as to make them clear as well as more concise

Who’s up next

December 19
Larry Sommers (chapter 3, untitled novel)
Paul Wagner (chapter 2, Rise of the Serpent)
Mike Austin (chapter, Riding with the Reed Gang)
Bob Kralapp (short story, part 3, “Faith”)
Jack Freiburger (short story, part 7, “Jesus Walked into the IHOP”)
Amber Boudreau (???)
Amit Trivedi (chapters, untitled novel)

January 2
Millie Mader (???)
Amber Boudreau (???)
Tracey Gemmell (???)
Katy Sullivan (picture book rewrite, Snowalicious)
John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold)
Jerry Peterson (???)

Our editor

Tracey Gemmell continues in the Writer’s Mail editorship for this month. Send her good stories about writing you find on the net that you’d like shared with the group.

Other:

Helpful article: “Write Better – The 7 Qualities of High-Concept Stories.” http://www.writersdigest.com/online-editor/write-better-the-7-qualities-of-high-concept-stories

Struggling with word counts? Here are some guidelines. http://wordcounters.com/index.jsp

Anyone interested in entering this free competition from LuLu.com? https://www.writers-online.co.uk/writing-competitions/open-competitions/writers-competitions-wro-oct17-lulu/