Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
September 22, 2017

Tuesday evening at B&N

B&N actually had a table for the nine writers who circled up to critique the works of our colleagues. Here are some summary notes of what was said:

• Larry Sommers (prologue, untitled novel) . . . Jerry felt the initial scene with Maria in the parlor was a bit lifeless and too long, and the real interest did not pick up until the boathouse scene with Maria and Anders started. Pat suggested fewer speech tags; some can be simply eliminated and others replaced with action lines. Jack mentioned excessive length of some sentences and mentioned that he has a closet full of “ands” at home that he has removed from his own writings (I think he meant to imply that I should do the same, maybe replace some with full stops and new Caps.) Mike was not as bothered by the slow start in the parlor as others. He also mentioned a valuable resource book, Wisconsin My Home by Thurine Oleson, which I will surely read and mine for details. Thanks, everyone!
• Paul Wagner (prologue rewrite, Rise of the Serpent) . . . Immensely helpful. Already putting some changes into my prologue and working into Chap One. Everyone was good and didn’t tell me too much o my face that it stunk(kidding)(mostly) I am about half-way getting thru all my “ands”, though i’m sure i’ll find a new home for them somewhere along the way. Also trying to make things a lil clearer and fix  some other mistakes that I don’t know how happened. All in all I was very happy with how it went
• Mike Austin (chapters 19-20, Riding With the Reed Gang) I have few comments this time as I was very late submitting. Larry commented favorably on the writing style, comparing it to Patricia Highsmith. Millie was relieved (spoiler alert!) that the girls got away.
• Jack Freiburger (poems, “Lucifer” and “”) . . .
• Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapters 5-7 , untitled YA novel) . . . Overall comments were positive. Regarding memory scenes, Pat said that it’s fine to start in the past tense but once someone is on the ‘memory’ it can be in present tense. Larry thought that Kedar’s character as the poet is quite good, especially when Kedar is trying to remember MIr’s couplet. Pat had question regarding time line. Amber suggested putting dates so as to clarify timeline.

Who’s up next?

October 3: Millie Mader (???), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 4, Hunting for Dad), Jack Freiburger (short story, part 6, “Jesus Walked into the IHOP”), Tracey Gemmell (chapters, Casa Something), Katy Sullivan (fan fiction, part 3, The Night We Met), John Schneller (chapter 16, Final Stronghold), and Jerry Peterson (short story).

October 17: Larry Sommers (chapter 1, untitled novel), Paul Wagner (chapter 1, Rise of the Serpent), Mike Austin (chapter, Riding with the Reed Gang), Bob Kralapp (short story, part 2, “Faith”), Tracey Gemmell (chapters, Casa Something), and John Schneller (chapter 17, Final Stronghold).

Our editor

Next month, it’s Pat Edwards. She wants your good stuff – news of what you’re doing and stories about writing you’ve found on the net and elsewhere.

Fifth Tuesday

Yes, it’s October 31.

Have you written your challenge story yet, the subject Halloween? The first story is already in. Send yours to Jerry Peterson so he can bundle it with the other stories for that night.