Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
June 23, 2017

Tuesday evening at B&N

An even dozen of TWS writers crowded around the tables to review the work of seven of our colleagues. Here’s some of what they said:

• Jen Wilcher (chapter 4, part 2, Hogoshiro Chronicles) . . .nothing submitted
• Rebecca Rettenmund (new chapter 2, Hunting for Dad) . . .nothing submitted
• Jack Freiburger (short story, part 3, “Jesus Walked inti the IHOP”) . . .nothing submitted
• Tracey Gemmell (chapters 11-13, Casa Something) . . . I received several nice comments about how much readers were enjoying the story. The humourous parts are going over well. The metaphor of the jet skies bumping awkwardly was appreciated. Mike wasn’t convinced a kinked fuel line would cause the right effect so he has provided a stuck throttle sequence he feels works better. Jerry pointed out that George Hamilton may not go over well in the UK as he’s an unknown there. Rebecca stated I wrote well but she found the Pepto-Bismol chapter boring and she’d like to hear from Lester’s POV. Amber said she had few comments as the chapters felt polished. Many thanks for all your support.
• John Schneller (chapters 13, Final Stronghold) . . . Final Stronghold chapter thirteen is a bit of a challenge due to all talk and little physical movement. Most were tolerant of this but the natives may be getting restless. Rebecca questioned whether the Emperor was really good, and some were not convinced that a beaver would know the origins of good and evil, but most who have worked their way through the saga stayed with the storyline. Thanks!
• Amber Boudreau (chapters 24-26, The Dragoneer) . . . Amber submitted three chapters (24-26) this week in an effort to push her rewrite through. (The exciting conclusion can be found in the July 18 folder.) John found one particular moment ‘precious’, which makes Amber worry that it might stand out too much in a bad way. Pat wondered if Moira, being of mixed heritage, would be mindful of getting her hair wet in the shower. She also wanted to know how wide an Aryx is anyway. Kashmira, Tracey, and Pat thought Moira should really have a chance to relax at the dance before things go crazy. Larry disagreed and thought things moved along well. Pat, at least would like some more slow dancing.
• Jerry Peterson (short story, “With Mac”) . . . Several pointed out that Ruck’s poker hand – aces over eights – is a dead man’s hand. Was that intended to foreshadow what might happen to Ruck later in the story, Larry Sommers asked. “Hadn’t thought about that,” said Jerry. “No, I’ll change Ruck’s hand. He’s not going to die.” John Schneller thought MacArthur’s last line at the end of the story should be cut to make for a better ending.

What’s happening for our people

Katy Sullivan – A job change knocks her out of our third Tuesday evenings. She will be with us only on first Tuesday evenings.

Nora O’Reilly – Her workload has increased, so Nora’s taking the summer off from TWS. Hopes to be back in September.

Kashmira Sheth – Heading East to be grandma again. She will be back in mid-August.

Larry Sommers – Off to Georgia for a week, then on to Africa. When Larry gets back, he will go into the hospital for a bit of nifty knee surgery and come out with a new left knee. All this will keep him away from the group until sometime in September.

Who’s up next

July 4: No meeting. Enjoy the holiday!

July 18: Millie Mader (short story, part 2, “Stone Cold Stripper”), Eva Mays (chapter 13, Dhuoda), Amber Boudreau (chapters 27-30, The Dragoneer), Mike Austin (chapter, Riding with the Reed Gang), Pat Edwards (chapter, What to Pack), Cindi Dyke (chapter, North Road), and Jerry Peterson (short story, “Aboard a PT”).

August 1: Jen Wilcher (chapter, Hogoshiro Chronicles), Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 3, Hunting for Dad), Jack Freiburger (short story, part 4, “Jesus Walked into the IHOP”), Tracey Gemmell (chapters, Casa Something, Paul Wagner (prologue, part 2, Rise of the Serpent), Katy Sullivan (???)), and John Schneller (chapter, Final Stronghold).

Fifth Tuesday in August

Yes, Tracey Gemmell will be hosting us at her home in New Glarus. And now we have a writing challenge: Write a drinking story. You decide what the drink is. Could be a chai-flavored tigernut horchata or a New Glarus Spotted Cow. Or perhaps something else. No more than 500 words.

Our editor

For July, it’s Pat Edwards. Please send your good stuff for Writers Mail her way.