Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
May 5, 2017

Tuesday evening at the old book shoppe

Fifteen gathered around a long, table set-up, so long that those on the ends had to shout to be heard by their opposites as we critiqued the work of seven of our colleagues. Here’s some of what was said:

• Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter 2, Hunting for Dad): No submission.
• Millie Mader (poem, “Texas”): “I don’t have much to submit re my poem. Mainly I was corrected on not using capital letters where required, plus some punctuation.”
• Nora O’Reilly (chapter 11, Bill; McCormick’s Bliss): “It was suggested that I add more internal dialogue for Bill about his conflict between his ties as a monk with his growing attraction to Margo. We also discussed that I should enrich Bill’s inner dialogue throughout the first part of the novel to make it more appealing to readers. Finally, I need to reword the very last sentence with Margo asking where Bill was on the day of the Sterling Hall bombing. It sounds like an interrogation currently.”
• Tracey Gemmell (chapters 3-7, Casa Loony): “Most of the group agreed the new name, ‘Casa Loony,’ sounded too frivolous for the tone of the book so far. Title will be revisited when more of the story is known. Group suggested Taylor and Annie bump into each other during the airport scene to provide an earlier connection. In general, the plot and writing were well received, though Rebecca questioned the point of chapter seven. To clarify for new members: British spelling and punctuation is used throughout. Many thanks for the excellent feedback and gracious support.”
• Mike Austin (chapters 7-9, Riding with the Reed Gang): “The comments I received for “Reed Gang” were informative, helpful and inspirational. I have struggled with the clumsiness of character descriptions, but Pat pointed out how unnecessary they are, at least the way I was doing it. I also need to give Nick more of a personality and some growth. Though he’s the main focus of this story, he seems to be the least developed, and only along for the ride. Heck, even I can see that! Once again, I need to thank Pat for introducing me to the “Hero’s Journey,” which, honestly, I’d never heard of before. I think it could be helpful with his development. Thanks to everyone for your comments and suggestions!
• Cindi Dyke (chapter 10, North Road): “Several suggested the backstory needs to be broken up or replaced with dialogue between main character and her brother. Kath is anxious to hear her brother’s response regarding her decision to refuse additional treatments, but then doesn’t ask him about it until she is leaving. The intent was to show how conflicted she is (anxious to hear the response she hopes for, not wanting to know if he is siding with everyone else). This needs to be worked out because as it is written some felt it was contradictory. Thanks to everyone for suggestions.”
• Jerry Peterson (short story, “Pearl”): “Poor Clint Boone got slayed by Tracey Gemmell and others for not reacting with some sympathy for the boy killed in the bomb blast. Jack Freiburger said it was not reasonable for the boy to jump in a bomb crater, that he might instead try to jump across it. For extra horror, he suggested the remnants of the boy’s body be blown into the window of the apothecary, ‘that everybody sees it there’.”

Who’s up next

May 16: Paul Wagner (???), Pat Edwards (chapter), Judith McNeil (short story, part 4, “Options”), Amber Boudreau (chapters 18-20, The Dragoneer), Jen Wilcher (chapter 4, Hogoshiro Chronicles), Jack Freiburger (short story, part 2, “Jesus Walked into the IHOP”), and Eva Mays (chapter, Dhuoda).

May 30: Fifth Tuesday!

June 6: Millie Mader (???), Nora O’Reilly (chapter, Bill McCormick’s Bliss), Amber Boudreau (chapters, The Dragoneer), Mike Austin (chapters 10-13, Riding with the Reed Gang), Kashmira Sheth (???), Cindi Dyke (chapter, North Road), and Jerry Peterson (James Early Christmas short story, part 2, no title).

We help our writers

We have done it in the past, and we will continue to do it. A writer who is pushing to meet a deadline for completing a rewrite for an agent or a publisher, or so she or he can query an agent, we will put that writer on the schedule for every meeting until the project is done.

Amber Boudreau has asked that we do that for her. Her deadline is to have a rewrite of her YA novel finished by the end of July. So she will be up with chapters for May 16, June 6, June 20, and July 18. No meeting on July 4.

Fifth Tuesday

Yes, it’s May 30 . . . and we will be at Jack Freiburger’s horse farm south of Madison. It’s between Fitchburg and Oregon. The best way to get directions or a map is to google Hickory Knoll Farms, Fitchburg. You will find a map and a link to driving directions on the right of the screen that opens.

This is a potluck event, so plan to bring some really great food for the sharing table. Start time is 7 p.m.

And now we have a subject for our writing challenge: You are cleaning your house (apartment, dwelling space, etc), and you come on a room you have never seen before. What’s in it?

Maximum length for your short story or poem is 500 words.

So start writing now!

Pat provided this great quote:

Prolific author and speaker, Alan Watts, was asked what advice he had for writers:

“Advice? I don’t have advice. Stop aspiring and start writing. If you’re writing, you’re a writer. Write like you’re a goddamn death row inmate and the governor is out of the country and there’s no chance for a pardon. Write like you’re clinging to the edge of a cliff, white knuckles, on your last breath, and you’ve got just one last thing to say, like you’re a bird flying over us and you can see everything, and please, for God’s sake, tell us something that will save us from ourselves. Take a deep breath and tell us your deepest, darkest secret, so we can wipe our brow and know that we’re not alone. Write like you have a message from the king. Or don’t. Who knows, maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have to.” — Alan Watts

Finally … Here’s a link to one of the Michael Hauge YouTube videos concerning the hero’s inner and outer journey: https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=michael+hauge&view=detail&mid=56FAA02489B40C90E3B056FAA02489B40C90E3B0&FORM=VIRE

Our editors

This month, it’s Tracey Gemmell . Please send her your contributions for Writers Mail.

Next month, Eva Mays takes on the assignment.