Writer’s Mail
Tuesdays with Story
February 12, 2016

 

The first word . . .

Sci-fi writer Eileen Gunn (1945- ) worked for Microsoft as director of advertising in the company’s early years. “What I learned was you have to ship the product.” Quinn applies that rule to writing. Says she, “You have to finish your stories and send them out.”

13 Writing Tips from Chuck Palahniuk

Number One:

Two years ago, when I wrote the first of these essays it was about my “egg timer method” of writing.  You never saw that essay, but here’s the method:  When you don’t want to write, set an egg timer for one hour (or half hour) and sit down to write until the timer rings.  If you still hate writing, you’re free in an hour.  But usually, by the time that alarm rings, you’ll be so involved in your work, enjoying it so much, you’ll keep going.  Instead of an egg timer, you can put a load of clothes in the washer or dryer and use them to time your work.  Alternating the thoughtful task of writing with the mindless work of laundry or dish washing will give you the breaks you need for new ideas and insights to occur.  If you don’t know what comes next in the story… clean your toilet.  Change the bed sheets.  For Christ sakes, dust the computer.  A better idea will come.

Number Two:

Your audience is smarter than you imagine.  Don’t be afraid to experiment with story forms and time shifts.  My personal theory is that younger readers distain most books – not because those readers are dumber than past readers, but because today’s reader is smarter.  Movies have made us very sophisticated about storytelling.  And your audience is much harder to shock than you can ever imagine.

Number Three:

Before you sit down to write a scene, mull it over in your mind and know the purpose of that scene.  What earlier set-ups will this scene pay off?  What will it set up for later scenes?  How will this scene further your plot?  As you work, drive, exercise, hold only this question in your mind.  Take a few notes as you have ideas.  And only when you’ve decided on the bones of the scene – then, sit and write it.  Don’t go to that boring, dusty computer without something in mind.  And don’t make your reader slog through a scene in which little or nothing happens.

http://litreactor.com/essays/chuck-palahniuk/stocking-stuffers-13-writing-tips-from-chuck-palahniuk

Thanks to Jerry for these updates:

Who’s up next . . .

February 16: Lisa McDougal (chapter 48, Tebow Family Secret), Eva Mays (chapter 1, Dhuoha), Kashmira Sheth (YA novel, chapters 1-3 rewrite, Journey to Swaraj), Millie Mader (poem, “Apocalypse to Armageddon”), Bob Kralapp (poem, “Train Schedules”), and Jerry Peterson (free verse or flash fiction, “You Can Never Be Sure”).

February 23: ?

March 1: Kashmira Sheth (chapters, Nina Soni), Pat Edwards (???), Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapter, novel), Randy Slagel (short story, part 1 rewrite, “Watered-Down Witch”), Judith McNeil (short story), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 27-30, Killing Ham).

Bookstore in the news . . .

We’re writers. We love bookstores . . . and stories about bookstore. Here’s one that appeared in the Janesville Gazette a couple weeks ago. There’s some darn clever writing here.

Oscar’s place

Some Janesville businesses include animal ambassadors

by Catherine Idzerda

Janesville Gazette

January 30

Oscar is the king of romance.

He is also a man of mystery and adventure, undaunted by sheer cliff faces, packs of wild beasts and dangerous paper towel rolls.

Yes, even paper towel rolls succumb to his greatness.

Oscar, the resident cat at Book World, 2451 Milton Ave., is one of many animals who have found homes at Janesville businesses.

Sugar and Emma, canine pals, live at Raven’s Wish art gallery, 101 W. Milwaukee St.

Oliver the cat recently retired from active duty at Wild Birds Unlimited, 3000 Milton Ave., Suite 102. Now Harper, a miniature golden-doodle, sometimes serves as store greeter.

They are all fine animals, but Oscar’s suitability, his rightness for his job as bookstore cat, makes him stand out.

Bookstores and cats seem to go together, and Book World’s staff had been lobbying for an animal for a long time, said Rene Purnell, store owner.

One weekend last August, her staffers went to the Humane Society of Southern Wisconsin and “interviewed” cats for the job.

They found two, but by Monday both kitties had gone to other homes.

The humane society called them back and said it had found them a perfect cat: Oscar.

“Perfect” hardly covers it.

Oscar lacks the unpleasant cat qualities: the standoffishness, the moodiness and the ability to discern who really, really dislikes cats and then relentlessly pester that person. There’s a word for that behavior that only readers of 19th-century novels will recognize: pestiferous.

Oscar has all the outstanding cat qualities: the ability to sleep anywhere, a readiness to be photographed and caressed by strangers and, best of all, an ability to be funny that borders on the deliberate. There’s no word for this behavior, but there should be. It’s the tendency in certain felines to do comic things at the right moment.

Cat owners will understand. They’ve seen the sideways, straight-legged flop that looks like a moose tipping over. They’ve woken up to find kitty sleeping upside down, sideways, spread-eagle, tongue out in the middle of bed, at the bottom of a tub or in a convenient cereal bowl – because, really, why wouldn’t you want to sleep there and in that really awkward position?

Oscar sometimes sleeps in the overstock books, negligently draped over the romances. He gets up there by climbing up the carpeted poles between the shelves. He also likes the desperately narrow shelf at the top of the magazine display.

On a recent Thursday, he was napping on the fake snow in the middle of a display of winter-related children’s books.

He looked up from his nap: “Hello? Yes? Certainly, you may take my photo. Let me just arrange my collar.”

On Sundays, the store is closed. Oscar doesn’t appreciate being left behind with just a little something to read. On Mondays, employees suffer his rebukes.

Once, staffers came in to find all the stuffed animals off their shelves, a pile of wild beasts meant as a gentle display of his unhappiness. Another time, the paper towels were dramatically unrolled. And yet another time, Oscar removed a tube of plastic garbage bags and stretched them the length of the store, red carpet fashion.

As a result, Monday mornings start with employees holding Oscar like a baby, either cradled belly up or draped over a shoulder.

Actually, they have to do that every morning. On Mondays, it’s just especially important.

Purnell said that despite Oscar’s disposition, she and her employees are careful to watch his interactions, especially with children.

Whatever you do, don’t ever expose Oscar to catnip. Recently, a reporter desperate to make friends spritzed herself with catnip spray. (Really, who does this?) It made Oscar berserk.

 

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” – Frank Herbert