Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail
June 10, 2014

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.” – Anne Lamott

At this Tuesday’s meeting…
Seven of us gathered at Barnes and Noble on June 10th to read and critique 3 stories.

Liam was our first reader. He read two pages from the novel he is working on, Prisoner of the Ten Gods. The pages are from the early part of the novel. Comments from the people in the group reminded Liam to be careful of his point of view and to shorten some of his sentences to make them more effective. A couple of the members of the group were confused by the age of the main character. He is supposed to be several hundred years old but that was not evident to everyone by the way the passage reads. One person commented that the material had little action in it and seemed to lack direction or motivating factors for the main character. A couple of the members pointed out that conflict could already be inferred between the two competing churches in town and that the dialogue flowed well.

Jen was our second reader. We were all excited that Jen submitted a piece for us to read! The story she is working on has yet to be titled. The scene she read is from the opening pages in the story. The scene is very descriptive and members of the group felt she did a good job of ‘showing’ not ‘telling’ but some members of the group felt the pages need a little more action to hook the reader into the story. Several members pointed out places where the sentences could be shortened up by dropping an ending preposition to make the passages flow better. Several members pointed out that more could be added to the reactions/internal dialogue that the main character, Hibiki, shows us so that the reader can get a better sense of who she is. Finally several members of the group question where the story was leading to. The opening pages did not present a conflict to indicate where the story was headed.

Rebecca was our last reader. She read from her second chapter (Enemy Spotted) from the novel she is working on entitled, Lookout. The members of the group enjoyed the humor (we couldn’t help chuckling) of the cat perspective when Ang, the main character, reflects on human behavior. The language built on the cat’s perspective is very descriptive but at times can cause confusion. One member pointed out that the voice of the main character was really solidifying. Rebecca gave us some foreshadowing of what was to come when questioned about the purpose of the poetry woven into the passages.

Who’s Up Next…
June 17: Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Family Secret), Andy Brown (chapters 4, Man Before the Fall), Cindi Dyke (chapters, North Road), Pat Edwards (???), John Schneller (chapter 2, Final Stronghold), and Judith McNeil (chapter 14, My Mother, Savior of Men).
June 24: Rebecca Rettenmund (chapter, Lookout), Jen Wilcher (scene, untitled novel), Deb Kellerman (chapter), Jack Freiburger (???)
July 1: Amber Boudreau (chapters, Stone), Millie Mader (chapter 55, Life on Hold), Kashmira Sheth & Amit Trivedi (chapter 4, novel), Bob Kralapp (short story part 6, “Hole in the Wall”), Andy Pfeiffer (chapters, The Void), and Jerry Peterson (chapters, Rubbed Out).

This month’s editor…
Something you want included in Writers Mail this month? Andy Brown is the editor. Send your squibs to Andy.
Ruth Imhoff takes on the job for July, and second-and-fourth is searching for an editor for August.

Fifth Tuesday gathering…
The next Fifth Tuesday will be July 29!

Rebecca Rettenmund will host. Bring a lawn or folding chair for yourself if you have one.

This is a potluck, so please bring some food to share!

The Challenge
What if your character could tell you what he or she thinks about your writing? Maybe she doesn’t like how you portrayed her, or he hates what you’re doing to his life in the story. Your character’s rant or diatribe is your 250 word challenge piece.

Bring a print out of your own story to share at the gathering for fun. Email your masterpiece to Katelin by July 30 so it can be included in the next newsletter. That means you have up until the Fifth Tuesday to complete it!