Tuesdays with Story

Writer’s Mail for December 7, 2013

“Don’t expect your reader to accept a piece of writing that you wouldn’t accept yourself.” –Donald H. Ross

 Tuesday Night at Alicia Ashman Branch Library…

Eight Tuesday with Story members gathered for the First-and-Third Group meeting Dec. 3, including new member Cindi Dyke.

Lisa McDougal presented Chapter Nine of Tebow Family Secret. Pat Edwards thought the chapter contained good scenes, but wondered about the horse scene and hoped there was a reason for it. Jerry Peterson asked about the horse scene, too. He also suggested that Lisa has to make a choice about whether a subsidiary character would be weak or strong. Amber Boudreau, Cindi Dyke, and Bob Kralapp thought Lisa could have it both ways. Pat identified another character as left-handed, but had no idea where she got that notion. Jerry asked why these four divergent scenes appeared in one chapter: Would it be better to split the chapter in two? Pat wondered how the reader was supposed to feel about one of the main characters – like or dislike. Millie Mader asked whether another character was out of the story for good or coming back in a future chapter.

Millie Mader shared Chapter Forty-Nine of Life on Hold. Lisa wondered whether one of the characters ever phoned with good news, because true-to-form, in this chapter he phoned again with bad news. She suggested that this particular call, for once, could get him excited about the news he had to share. Jerry suggested a word change. Cindy wanted one character to have more of a reaction to what seemed to be important news. Clayton Gill saw an opportunity for more conflict, particularly in the trans-Atlantic phone call and the problematic phone lines of the 1970s. Jerry wondered whether a British operator would cut in at some point to ask for more money to continue the call. Lisa wanted to know how the characters got to where they were going at the end, but Pat didn’t think it mattered. Pat pointed out some of the dialogue near the close of the chapter was less of a conversation and more of a grilling.

Cindi Dyke read from her rewrite of Chapter One of North Road. Bob thought it had a great opening paragraph. Clayton noted changes in point-of-view (POV) within the opening scene and wondered who was telling the story. Jerry and Pat also noted that POV shifted back and forth between characters in a couple of places. Amber questioned whether the gathering should be called a “dinner party” because it was limited to family members. Millie identified with the main character while Amber wondered about her age. Jerry encouraged Cindi to give the group a synopsis of the story. He then that Cindi could start the story with Chapter Two, instead of the current Chapter One. Clayton had the idea to end the chapter on a cliffhanger.

Amber Boudreau shared Chapter Twenty-Four and Chapter Twenty-Five of her youth fantasy novel. Pat applauded the fight scene but cautioned Amber to check for necessary compound words such as frog-march and side-to-side. Jerry pointed out that the hilt of a sword could not be tossed aside separate from its blade unless the sword was broken. Millie wondered why the main character was against her mom going on a date with the main character’s teacher. Clayton questioned “teenagerness” and wondered why the main character wouldn’t be more active in undermining the teacher’s plan for her mother. Getting ready to go to the dance was great fun, Pat thought. She especially liked how the wyvern left with the chips and salsa. Several members appreciated Amber’s magnet analogy for human relationships – strength of attraction or repulsion depending on orientation of the individuals and their distance apart. They also admired a passage describing friendship: “With him I always had a back to back up against instead of a wall.”

Jerry Peterson read from Chapter Nineteen of Capitol Crimes. Pat announced her extreme frustration in the pace of the investigation of the exceedingly grisly murder of a family in the opening chapter of the book. After that shocking opening, the story went off in numerous directions, full of wonderful scenes and learning about moonshining and life in the Tennessee mountains. Pat particularly enjoyed the scene where the characters discuss a barbecue sauce in exquisite detail. Amber wondered why we haven’t met the wife of one of the main characters. But what, Pat asked, about the murders, so many chapters ago? Clayton suggested that perhaps Jerry had sprinkled as yet unrecognized clues in preceding chapters. However, in order to satisfy Pat, there would have to a whopper of a resolution to the murder mystery.

Who’s Up Next . . .

December 10: Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (chapter, Coming Up for Air), Deb Kellerman (chapter, Crossing Guard), Ryan Wagner (short story), and Carol Hornung (scene, Ghost of Heffron College). Meeting at Monroe Street Art Center, 2526 Monroe Street.

December 17: Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Family Secret), Andy Pfeiffer (chapter, The Void), Bob Kralapp (?), Pat Edwards (?), Judith McNeil (chapter 8, My Mother, Savior of Men), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 20-21, Capitol Crimes). Meeting at Alicia Ashman Branch Library, Old Sauk Road and High Point, starting at 6:45 p.m.

January 7: Lisa McDougal (chapter, Tebow Family Secret), Amber Boudreau (chapter 26, Noble), Cindi Dyke (chapter 2, North Road), Millie Mader (chapter 50, Life on Hold), Ruth Imhoff (chapter, Motto of the Hound), and Jerry Peterson (chapters 22-23, Capitol Crimes). Meeting at Barnes & Noble Westside starting at our regular time of 7:00 p.m.

NaNoWriMo Report . . .

Ruth Imhoff: I got about 25,000 words and then ran into a few problems with plot. Next year I will go all the way.

I’m writing a young adult fantasy novel, Flame of Souls. Here’s the storyline. When Emily’s grandfather passes away, she moves to Wisconsin to live with her father and his family. She attends a high school designed for people who are aware of the existence of magic, although they are not required to learn magic in order to attend. There she befriends apprentice wizard Warren and DJ, a young exorcist. She also begins studying magic under the tutelage of her father’s family friend, Master Solomon De Santis, a powerful sorcerer.

As Emily’s studies in magic continue, she has second and third thoughts about continuing on the path to becoming a sorcerer like her father and brothers. She is also dogged by a mysterious shadow creature without a face, and her dreams turn quickly into nightmares. She is researching an ancient artifact with a sinister past when she finds a cipher that may contain a written map to the artifact’s location.

More shadow creatures appear and become violent as Emily and her friends attempt to solve the cipher and determine who is sending the shadow creatures to steal it. They enlist the help of Warren’s master, the wizard Mordecai Maddox, who reveals that the artifact, a candle containing seven trapped souls, has been lost for almost 100 years.

Will the three friends be able to solve the cipher and locate the candle before their mysterious adversary?

Alicia Connolly-Lohr: I didn’t finish (50,000 words) and didn’t expect to. I was using NaNo as a motivator. It worked for a while until I go stuck. I stopped at just under 13,000 words. I was continuing with Coastie Girl, a YA novel about a girl who becomes involved in rescue operations during Hurricane Katrina.

Here’s the story line. Kate is a 13-year-old girl who is the daughter of a Coast Guard pilot. Her mother was a Navy nurse who recently passed away from a burst appendix. After the mom’s death, Kate and her dad relocate to New Orleans to make a fresh start. They buy a house the mom would have liked and get a new dog, Netta, named partially after mom. Kate starts school and makes a new best girlfriend. The girls get in trouble on the internet and inadvertently contact the cops in a sting operation to ensnare child predators.

Kate is grounded, and, to appease her dad, she joins Sea Cadets for the summer, a junior youth military group, which she was totally against. She ends up liking it and gets to go on a training helicopter ride and sees a rescue exercise.

Kate’s dad befriends a new Navy nurse single mom, whom Kate dislikes, though she likes the woman’s little boy. During the aftermath of Katrina, Kate becomes involved in dramatic helo rescues and helping victims. She confronts spiritual life questions about suffering and loss. Her love of dogs helps her work through fundamental issues to bring help and hope to herself and others as she works through her personal family conflicts.

A Six-Volume Wisconsin Word Project Now Online . . .

The Dictionary of American Regional English started here at the University of Wisconsin almost a half-century ago. The six books that make up the dictionary are now all in print, and, as of last month, also are online.

Here’s the link to the full story: http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/American-Regional-English-dictionary-going-online-5014046.php

It’s a fascinating read.

Great Words . . .

From Word Spy Paul McFedries, below find some new words related to kids.

PANK or pank
n. A woman without children who dotes on her nieces and nephews. An acronym from the phrase professional aunt no kids.
Example Citations:
“Breaking acronym alert! The world’s sociologists have been at it again. All hail the pank, or ‘professional aunt, no kids’, a species defined by the spoiling, confidence-sharing and general nurturing of other people’s nippers.”
– Hannah Betts, “Why this devoted ‘professional aunt, no kids’ is proud to be a ‘pank’,” The Telegraph, November 11, 2013

“Emmert and millions of other PANKs (professional aunt, no kids) are opting not to have kids, finding fulfillment in bonding with their nieces and nephews instead. Their numbers are growing: Nearly 20 percent of American women reach 40 to 44 childless, compared with 10 percent in the 1970s, said a 2008 Pew Research Center report.”
– Bill Ward, “PANKs: Happy with the role of aunt,” Minneapolis Star Tribune, February 22, 2012

Earliest Citation:
“At Savvy Auntie, we call this emerging demographic of American women: PANKs –  Professional Aunts, No Kids,” says Notkin. “PANK is the new pink; it’s the new, modern segment of women finally getting the attention it deserves through Savvy Auntie – the first online community for Aunts.”
– Savvy Auntie, “First Online Community for Aunts,” Launches, Savvy Auntie, July 9, 2008

Note: Pank is a registered trademark of Melanie Notkin Media Inc. (Melanie Notikin being the founder of Savvy Auntie and the coiner of this term).

kid credentialing
pp. Having a child participate in activities, programs, and experiences that will look good on the child’s future college application.

Example Citations:
“Middle-class parents are understandably anxious to give their kids the best chance possible in life. That’s why they are willing to invest more in ‘kid credentialing’ than ever. That’s why the word ‘parent’ has turned from a noun into a verb.”
– Margaret Wente, The kids don’t play any more, The Globe and Mail, November 16, 2013

“Parents investing in ‘kid credentialing’ lead to accomplished teens who are a mile wide and an inch deep.”
– Lori Pickert, “parents investing…,” Twitter, November 17, 2013

Earliest Citation:
“The goal made or missed at eight years old might not matter, but the skills acquired by engaging in competition do matter to elite schools and employers – emphasizing the real connection between the achievement gap and this accepted system of kid credentialing.”
– Hilary Levey Friedman, “After-School Activities Make Educational Inequality Even Worse,” The Atlantic, November 13, 2013

Newsletter Editor…

We’re shooting for four December newsletters, so please send your seasonal gifts – or hand-me-downs about writing — down Clayton’s chimney.

Poems welcome, too! Especially as warm-up for Writer’s Mail editor and poet Pat Edwards, who has volunteered for January.

The Last Word…

“Below are listed some tips on writing effectively. They are helpful in all kinds of writing. This is not a list to be memorized. However, you will want to refer to it often.

1. Decide      what you’re going to write and stick to it….”

–Anne Wescott Dodd in Write Now! Insights into Creative Writing

And many thanks to Amber Boudreau and Jerry Peterson for content in this issue of the Writer’s Mail!