Writer’s Mail
October 2, 2013
“I tell them you learn to write the same way you learn to play golf,” he said. “You do it, and keep doing it until you get it right. A lot of people think something mystical happens to you, that maybe the muse kisses you on the ear. But writing isn’t divinely inspired — it’s hard work.” – Tom Clancy (1947-2013)
Thanks to Pat for the quote
Notes from 10/2/2013
Millie Mader presented Chapter 47 of Life On Hold. Andy did not like Erin asking if Scott was seeing another woman, as two subjects were going on at once. Pat addressed problems with the man at the end, as men are too assertive to apologize constantly. Pat and Andy had a problem with him not having a name, and Erin not asking for it. Jerry wanted a name for the newsman Scott was apprenticing under, and that Erin would ask for more info. Jerry also had a problem with nothing bad happening to Erin in this chapter, and suggested intoxication at the Hobbit Hole. Erin could also worry about Scott seeing another woman or not coming back, and to paint an emotional reaction. Jerry suggested for Erin to go to the game with the guy at the end; Andy suggested that she friend zone him, but feel guilty that she’s hanging out with another man, even with hiding her face (Hat? Scarf? Both?). Jerry gave an idea of Erin visiting Scott for Christmas, and having her torn up about leaving her mom. Building off of Pat, Andy and Ruth both thought there should be another woman Scott liked but couldn’t do anything with because of Erin.
Cindi Dyke was second, presenting the first chapter of North Road. The imagery was very well received, as were the beeps. Pat was confused by whether she was at home, or dreaming, or at work when she was wishing for a snow day. Cindi clarified that she was in Florida, and how she got there. Jerry and Pat both wanted to know how this situation was different from her everyday life, despite the imagery. Is it a dream? No, because that’s not a good way to start a book with. Pat wants the book to start where she’s at, and that teeny tiny bits of imagery could accomplish it. Jerry also suggested taking out some of the adjectives, as there are too many that are fluff, and that the nouns are plenty strong.
Ruth Imhoff presented Chapter 5 of Motto of the Hound. Andy reminded Ruth to add Blackfan showing his badge, saying he’s a detective. Ruth also clarified that the women were, in fact, real psychics pretending to be fakes, and it was determined that it needed to be clearer, with having a more cryptic reference early so the reader could pick up on it. Pat also suggested that one of the ladies be more over-the-top, as it was hard to discern between the two. Pat also suggested telepathic communication between the two ladies. Pat also said to minimize the “smiles” in the chapter if Blackfan was not under a spell. Jerry also stated that vaults do not have keys, but rather combinations. Everyone agreed to nix the final sentence about going back to the station, as the next chapter would clarify it.
Jerry Peterson read from chapter 10 of Capitol Crimes. Pat was surprised by Jenks taking the shotgun backstage, and wanted more emotion. Otherwise, it was very well-received by everyone. Much of the time was spent reflecting upon the differences between 1933 and 2013, and how there are so many things different today, and how well researched it was.
Amber Boudreau came in just in time to present chapter 20 of Noble. Jerry had a minor note about the flowers being hung up, instead of the coat. Andy wondered if Bertram would be very specific with his taste in wine. Jerry praised Mrs. Noble’s character, and that she was real; Pat loved her line “in the future.” The Renaissance Faire excuse was well-received as a logical lie about the sword training, and the conversation was praised as well. Everyone wanted more.
Thanks to Andy for taking notes
Other Odds and Ends
Meetings will resume at Barnes and Noble for the October 15 meeting.
TWS will be losing a member soon, Aaron Boehm, who will be moving to another state. I guess that will be an acceptable excuse for him to leave and not let us know what happens to the recently separated conjoined twins in his story (lol). I guess now will be a good time to ask if you were the guy working the bar at Sundance that night my boyfriend and I got into a big fight because I tipped you (or some other guy) $5?
A Fifth Tuesday note . . .
We will be at Mystery To Me on the evening of November 5. Finger food is order, say our Second-and-Fourth planners. No steaks unless it steak on a stick. No cheesecake unless it’s on a stick. No tuna casserole unless you can figure out a way to put it on a stick (5 points to Gryffindor for anyone who can lol). So do plan, as your contribution to the feasting table, to bring some kind of finger food.
Frosty pops, that’s a finger food, isn’t? And ice cream bites?
Great phrase . . .
You’ve heard of Blackberry thump, phone neck, and smartphone face, all ailments that have come about as our addiction to cells phones have increased. Now, says Word Spy Paul McFedries, a new ailment has appeared – screen sightedness.
Screen sightedness (noun) is myopia caused by too much time spent indoors staring at small screens. Screen sighted is the adjective form of the phrase.
Example Citations:
“British researchers coined the problem ‘screen sighted,’ referring to a 35 percent increase in nearsightedness since the launch of smartphones in 1997.” – British Researchers Believe Smartphones Are To Blame For Poor Eyesight, CBS Los Angeles, August 17, 2013
“I couldn’t find the actual study online, but it came out of the UK where a laser eye surgeon claims there has been a 35% increase in nearsightedness – screen sightedness, he has dubbed it – since 1997. He believes smartphones are a cause, and warns that the problem will only get worse.”
– Is ‘screen sightedness’ for real?, Frugal Nurse, August 29, 2013
Earliest Citation:
“Mr. Allamby said: ‘If things continue as they are, I predict that 40 to 50 per cent of 30-year-olds could have myopia by 2033 as a result of smartphones and lifestyles in front of screens – an epidemic we call screen sightedness.’”
– Emma Innes, “Have you got ‘screen sightedness’? Smartphones are causing sight problems to soar, warns eye surgeon,” Daily Mail, August 15, 2013
An opportunity for you, maybe . . .
From Jessica Tribble, publisher at Poisoned Pen Press, the premier publisher of mysteries and crime fiction:
“I’m happy to report that we are open for submissions! We will be accepting regular submissions during the period between October 1 and October 31.
“We are changing the way we read submissions to be sure we are discovering the freshest, most compelling, and best mysteries. As such, Poisoned Pen Press will open for submissions twice annually: once during the month of October, and once during the spring.
“During October, we will accept submissions for regular publication. During the spring submissions period, we will only be open to those entering our Discover Mystery first book contest.”
Go to Poisoned Pen’s website for detail on how to submit a manuscript.
Coming Soon…
October 8: Holly Bonnicksen-Jones (chapter, Coming Up for Air), Kristin Oakley (chapter, God of Mayhem Street), Deb Kellerman (short story, “Crossing Guard”), and Carol Hornung (scene, Ghost of Heffron College).
October 15: Lisa McDougal (chapter 4 rewrite, Tebow Family Secret), Bob Kralapp (???), Andy Pfeiffer (chapters 4, The Void), Pat Edwards (poems), Judith McNeil (chapter 6, My Mother, Savior of Men), and Betsy Draine (chapter 2, Twins: A Love Story). . . . *Note: First-and-third group returns to Barnes & Noble Westside.
October 22: Katelin Cummins (chapter, Battle of Sista).
October 29: Lisa McDougal (chapter 7, Tebow Family Secret), Aaron Boehm (???), Millie Mader (chapter 48, Life on Hold), Ruth Imhoff (chapter, Motto of the Hound), Cindi Dykes (chapter 2, North Road), and Amber Boudreau (chapter 21, Noble).
November 5: Fifth Tuesday – really – at Mystery To Me Bookstore.
Tuesdays with Story 
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